I think the fact that you will both break up with whatever person you are with at the time in order to just be with each other for a brief time says a lot about the nature of your relationship. Is your relationship with each other more important to both of you then any other romantic relationships? Has he actually broken up with gf's to be with you, or just the other way around?

It is weird to me that you still consider one another friends but then not talk to each other for years. Personally, I have those people that I consider friends that I talk to regularly, people that I regretfully lose contact with, and those that I intentionally lose contact with because I don't want them in my life anymore. So why do you 2 avoid one another for years like that? I guess I would say that you 2 aren't really friends if you still have these strong romantic feelings for one another (or at least you do right now). I think that is says a lot about your feelings for him that you never tell your bf that you were romantically involved with him. What are you trying to hide? Are you afraid that your bf at the time will find out that you were involved with him or still have feelings for him and get jealous? So I am wondering what exactly are the differences in lifestyle that prevent you from being with him? If you 2 are so interested in each other, then why has it never worked out? Do you think that maybe you are secretly waiting for him to change so that you 2 can be together one day? If so, I would say don't ever wait for a guy. I think that either it is meant to be or it is not. If it is not and it is too painful to remain friends then just end the friendship and try to get over him for good. If you want to date him, then first of all you would have to wait until he is single again. I just don't think that it is worth it to wait for a guy like that. What if he ends up marrying this girl and you have put your dating life on hold just to see what happens? I hope you can find some answers within yourself and do what is best for you. Good luck. :):)

I find your story and your relationship confusing. Its like someone who is curious, and wants something, but knows something is not quite right. One the one hand you continue to communicate after all these years at a distance, yet break up with current relationships if you run into each other. The clues may lie in what happened at the times you did have these romantic situations and still left each other anyway. Could it be you find him as forbidden in some way because of the lifestyle difference? I would beware as most books say that kind of excitement wears off after two years. It could explain the intermittent stages you have with him. Maybe you both lost interest when the relationship started on a less forbidden and more acceptable terms? I would look at those reasons carefully, then move on to someone new. Starting with him at this point would begin another round with no final answers. But then again, someone once wrote that love knows no boundaries. The answers are only with you.

Yep, we have each broken up with others twice each to be together. We stop talking, because one of us has tried to get over the other. We really have never slept together. Yes I'm probably waiting for him to change..and dont want to ask him to, he would if he wanted to right?. He is having illegal sources as his primary income. We each essentially do try to move on..but like I said some random meeting happens, and we are glued from then on for a while.
He's going to retire soon, and it was his 'main income source' which was the main issue. He is also a fantastic musician, and can afford to live off that now, I suppose. But again, maybe we have a connection that is meant to just be the way it is.