I would love some help on this!
My husband and I have been together about 5 years, and married for 1. Before we met, he got a large tattoo of a woman on his upper arm, she is very beautiful, but boobs (including nipple!!) are showing a little, she has a very unrealistic figure, and is overall very completely not one thing like me. I always thought it was a little weird and every once in a while it comes up in conversation that it makes me uncomfortable, etc., especially at times when his shirt is off (you get my drift). So that's no fun. Recently, it has been making me more upset, as he is planning a tattoo of me as a pinup. So, it is making me feel second-tier- even though the girl on his arm looks nothing like anyone he has ever dated, and that's not really my worry. I think he should get it covered up or changed before we have kids (about a year from now) and before he gets a similar tattoo of me. He says he will get it covered by but hasn't taken any steps in that direction. Should I drop this or what??
Thanks for any advice!!
Vicenza
It would be good to have the innapropriateness covered, but it sounds like he sees you as a pin-up too,so at least you know it's not that he is into a fantasy and not you
1Personally, I say drop it and learn to overlook it. The main reason I say this is that he had it before you met him ... and it obviously did not really bother you until recently - you did marry him. It is a part of him. He will come to the decision to get it covered when he's ready. If you push - he will end up resenting you for it. Then you WILL have issues.
2Love this guy tatoos and all, or move on. Stop trying to change him and what he likes (and how he views women.)
3I know how you feel, my bf got a tattoo when he was already with me, and I just don't like them in general. I also don't like the one he decided to get, ugggg, but I told him that before he got it, and obviously its his body...... I really love how his body looks, and I feel like the tattoo messes that up. I hate looking at it, grrr. So...it is his body to do what he wants with...but I also agree that if you think that the tattoo is inappropriate for your kids to see, then he needs to respect that too, b/c in that case, it affects more than just him, it affects the future kids, and he should care about them and how you feel about it affecting them. And I would be upset about him wanting a tattoo of me too, it does seem second tier... I'm sorry. I would just really talk to him about your feelings on this, make sure he really understands that it upsets you. Good luck!
4I say drop it. This man loves you very much if hes considering getting a tattoo of you, so don't try to change him.
5I say just leave it alone...is it really THAT big of a deal? I have a tattoo on the back of my neck and my BF HATES it. (he actually doesnt really like any of my tattoos, but that one he hates the most) But he would never ask me to get it removed or cover it up, because he knows that I like it, and that it means something to me. (granted, its not a pin up girl) I think the fact that he wants to get one of you says alot. I think its kind of his way of making up for the other one. (since he obviously knows it bothers you.) we all know the saying "choose your battles" and I think this battle is one that really isnt worth worrying about. Does it make him love you less? No. Does it make you love him less? Probably not, so why get so worked up? Good luck!
6thank you everyone for your help!!! we talked about it last night. he had gone to talk to someone about getting it changed (he said he wanted our cats face instead of the lady and put her collar on her... HA!). I told him i would drop it and i was in the wrong, and i will think more about the "underlying issue" (which i will spare you guys for now!). thanks thanks thanks!!!
7My boyfriend has a tattoo of a huge squid overtaking a ship. It's not my cup of tea but I have learned to accept it. You could always ask him to get a bra on his tattoo. I know it sounds weird but it would look a little less scandalous. I would be excited if my boyfriend wanted to get a tattoo of me on him. I also wouldn't feel second best if I were you, he obviously puts you in high regard if he is going to get you on his skin for the rest of his life and wants to have a child with you.
8I can't believe everyone is saying how much he must love you to want a tattoo of you! Um . . .what about the last woman? You know, the one he loved so much he just had to get a tattoo of her on his arm forever? (Think about it - there's no way that tattoo is generic. It's clearly based on a past love.)
9Post A Comment
To post comments, please log in or register.