How can I be a little nicer?

Mon, 25 May 2009 08:20:26 -0700

I am in my early 20's and have moved to a few different states in the past 2 years. I have finally settled down and like where I am and what I do. My husband has had a much easier time adjusting than me, and his attitude has completely changed -- he is more mellow and calm, and I like him no matter how he acts...but my problem is me. I have noticed how I behave...and it's not matching his or those around me. I am a little rough around the edges, sarcastic, and a very light person. I guess I tend to put some people off, especially here, since my jokes and what not and general demeanor can come off as abrasive. I don't feel like a mean person, but maybe I am not as nice as I could be. I am from the north, and my attitude very much reflects that. Nature and nurture have definitely played a part in my behavior -- and it's hard to change. My husband moved around a lot, and therefor never became attached to one place or one way of life. I behave the way I did (and everyone else did) back in my home state -- but I am not there any longer, and having thick skin is not a trait people here tend to have, since everyone is laid back and nice. I want to make an effort to feel less like an outcast because of my attitude...but I like the fire in me. I want to be nicer, but not lose the real me. My husband says that by altering this behavior I will feel more at home and not feel so disconnected with him and other people anymore. He brings up the very real point that I am no longer a people-person because people here just think I am abrasive. I know it...but it's hard for me to stop being me!

I know this sounds like a stupid question -- but how can I be a little nicer? I mean...you can change the voice and what you say -- but niceness is an attitude. I know it's necessary, since I do plan on spending maybe the rest of my life here. Any ideas?

Group Therapy

How can I be a little nicer?