Group Therapy

Do I Tell Him I Like Him?

Mon, 17 Aug 2009 06:32:07 -0700

This sound ridiculously teenager-like but here goes. I'm 29 and single. I recently went to the states on business (I live in Europe) and whilst I was there I met an amazing guy. So much so that I've not stopped thinking about him since I arrived back a week ago.

We had a random night out where we had some casual drinks, which then led into shopping, had dinner and then had more drinks back at the hotel I was staying. We didn't draw breath the entire time (about 7 hours). For something that wasn't a date, it was the best date I have ever had. We didn't kiss or anything like that but the next morning when I had to fly back to Europe, I just had this great feeling about him.

He's added me on FB and emailed me a couple of times. Given I don't fly to the states very often (twice a year for work) I'm hesitant to tell him I like him, but would rather just keep in touch and see how the friendship develops.

But the stupid girl romantic head I have tells me to just email him and put my cards on the table saying that I'm really attracted to him.

It's pretty silly for a 29 yr old to feel like a 15 yr old, but my luck in meeting great unattached guys has been so dire that I just feel like I should take a chance, and see what happens. I have vacation time to use up and of course I'm doing all this idiotic scenario stuff in my head which is just stupid but something tells me I should do it.

What should I do?

NEED ADVICE ABOUT MY CURRENT PREGNANT EMOTIONAL STATUS!!

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 17:27:28 -0700

I am about 1 month pregnant and my boyfriend has just let me know he is planning a trip with his best friend to New Orleans for Halloween in October and his great desire to go because this will be his last trip before we have our baby. We actually previously discussed that we might like to go together this year prior to finding out our good news. Now if I could go I would love to go. I told him how inconsiderate I thought that would be for him to go, and he seemed very dissappointed that I felt that way. Please tell me what I should do? Do I feel right in this or is he right. Should I let him go? Your direction is so appreciated. Thank you

Group Therapy: I Have a Great Boyfriend With Ex Problem; Help!

Fri, 09 Jan 2009 04:00:00 -0800

My boyfriend is 31 and I'm 26. We have been together for a year now, and living together for six months. We've had our fair share of arguments and fights (even a couple of breakups) over the year, but overall we have been a very happy couple. Before me, he was married to a woman he had dated eight years prior. They got divorced about three years ago.

When I first moved in with him, he let me use his laptop one day. I casually looked at his computer history and I found that he had googled his ex, and searched various websites in order to find her. I was really hurt, but I didn't want him to think I was snooping so I casually asked if he was over her a few days later and he assured me that he was.

About a week ago, my laptop crashed so I used his, and again, through his computer history, I learned that he had been looking his ex up on Facebook. I feel like this is emotional cheating and I'm contemplating leaving him, but I'm torn because I love him; I just don't know if he loves me in the same way. Should I give him more time? Is there room for understanding his behavior?

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Is it worth it?

Fri, 18 Jul 2008 15:27:23 -0700

I've been seeing a guy now for little over a month. We are definitely in the beginnings of this relationship - and I guess you could say I don't want to get in over my head - -too quickly. There are a lot of pros and a few cons - I've already done my weighing in... The cons - to me- do not seem like a big deal right now; but I'm afraid the deeper I get - if it gets that far-will bring problems into the relationship.

The Cons -
1. So far -I know very little about his past. I know he was stupid when he was younger and has had to suffer for it. He has a possession charge, a dwi charge, a couple other random charges. Nothing severe. He hasn't had an issue with any of these within the past year.

2. He has a kid - from an ex. The kid is very young still. under a year. I don't know how to feel about this or what not. I have dated guys with kids in the past - but never under the age of four. He sees her once a month - she lives a few hours away from him.

The pros -
1. He pays for everything for his kid. Works incredibly hard to make sure she is completely taken care of.

2. His friends are incredibly welcoming and geniunely friendly. They don't judge the things that others like/do and they are really great to be around.

3. He treats me impecably. He's always checkin in on me during the day at work to make sure I'm having a good day. When we go out - he makes it known we're together. He cracks me up yet can still keep me on my feet at the same time.

4. Absolutely no contest in between the sheets.

5. He's really good with his daughter. That's positive for the future.

Should I let the little things that might cause problems in the future affect today? Or do I put all my insecurities aside and let things ride out the way they do?

PRIVACY PLEASE

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 14:37:27 -0700

Background info - I'm going on my 4th year of college. My University is in the same town that I grew up and where my parents still live. I haven't lived at home full time for about 3 years now because I lived in the dorms my first 2 years and had my own apartment this past year.

Recently my brother moved to Germany and he has asked me if I wanted to come live with him next summer. I am ecstatic to go live in Europe but it's very expensive so I made the decision to move home for my last year of college to save money for my 4 month long trip to Europe.

I've officially been living at home for 2 weeks now and I'm going absolutely crazy. I feel like I have no privacy! I have a regular sized bedroom that feels terribly claustrophobic being that I've lived in a spacious apartment for the past year. I tend to be a little on the obsessive compulsively neat freak side of things and my parents have a hard time cleaning up after themselves. They hardly put their laundry away which leaves clothes scattered around the dinning room, they leave dirty dishes in the sink after eating supper, they RARELY dust or vacuum. I don't think it's fair that I end up cleaning the house almost daily because of my cleanly habits!! I have asked them nicely on several occasions to try to keep things clean around the house but they take my requests as being bossy or b*tchy.

I'm embarrassed to bring people over, not only because it's messy but also I feel lame saying I live with my parents. I've asked them if they could compromise by letting me set up the basement as my own TV-living room area so if I want to bring people over, I have a place thats secluded from the rest of the house. After my request my dad immediately shut down the idea and told me that the basement is "his" computer room area and he doesn't want to move it around. Basically he said NO WAY.

I don't want to move out because I need to save money for my trip but I don't know if I can handle this for an entire year...

Please help

-Going crazy Kate

Ex help

Mon, 24 Mar 2008 23:07:27 -0700

I have been broken up with my ex girlfriend for 3 months. We had been together for more than 4 years!(minus the last summer but then we got back together basically) After the breakup we talked occasionally and the friendship was pretty good. Then during spring break, she went on a trip for jobs, and we got into a fight. I had finally expressed my angry/upset feelings to her for the first time in a long time. I did say things that were out of anger, but they were not bad language or insults, simply that I felt she no longer took my needs into consideration. She became infuriated and now she has said she does not want to be friends, and that she never wants to talk again. I have emailed her and texted her multiple times asking her to listen to my explanation that I was in a stressful time, and scared of losing her to a faraway job. But this was to no avail and she has not listened to why I said the things I did. Now I don't know how to keep the friendship together, because even though I am still in love with her, she doesn't know, I am willing to just be friends so I don't lose her from my life. I have told her that I will give her space, but I am scared that the space will make her forget about my great qualities and the good times, and only focus on the recent past. Please give me any advice for how to keep the friendship/relationship together!

Do I confront him?

Tue, 15 Jan 2008 09:56:19 -0800

I've been dating my boyfriend for two years and everything seems great. We knew each other for about 2 years before we even started dating so we were best friends first. I've always trusted him and he's never given me a reason not to. I was at his apt yesterday while he was at school. I was at his computer and his email was up. I KNOW I shouldn't have but of course I did. I didn't read them I just kind of scrolled through to see who he gets emails from. Well there was one reply from a craigslist ad which I thought was strange and it was someone asking to get to know him better. Well my boyfriend's family moved out-of-state last summer and he spent most of the time with them in the new state. I found out (through the email) that he posted an ad on craigslist looking to meet people his age so he had friends there. Well under his sent items I found an email he sent to a craigslist girl saying what type of women he likes and how he usually dates older women (not in our case!). It was a semi-flirty email but then again I could be reading into it more than it was. Well I never saw any more replies or emails sent from him to anyone else. This really bothers me and I want to confront him, yet I'm faced with the dilemma that I was snooping through his emails and not respecting his privacy. What do I do? I don't know if I can just ignore this and go on with everything, even though this happened a few months ago and nothing seems to have come from it. I'm assuming, and hoping, that he just wanted to meet friends and it got a little carried away? HELP! Also, knowing the type of guy my bf is he'll look right past the email and bring more attention to the fact that I was invading his privacy.

Group Therapy: I'm lost... please help

Mon, 30 Apr 2007 16:00:00 -0700

Hi, I know the title of my post seems desperate, but I really need help...
I haven't been feeling well with myself and the way I've been living for a while now. I have an OK job, but nothing that makes me feel completely satisfied and happy. I have tons of debts so that's pretty much why I haven't quit. My boyfriend's two years younger than me, he still goes to school and his friends and classes are a huge part of his life right now, it makes me feel very jealous but I understand it's part of his stage. He's leaving for two months this summer to attend a special course about 4 hours from where we live. Since I learned the news I felt miserable and I've been giving him an awful time.

Click here to

He's at the end of his term so he has tons of school work, specially since his major involves a lot of handy work. I've been demanding all of his free time for me, calling him 24-7, crying, driving to see him as much as I can...mainly suffocating him. His reaction has been to pull away, he doesn't call me or text me like before, he spends his free time with his friends and he's lost his patience with me and is in a bad mood when we're together. He says he hates that I don't trust him and expect the worst from him. He also hates for me to get mad or cry when he decides to go out with his friends. He says he wants a girlfriend who trusts herself and trusts him, who's calm and positive and understanding. I think many of my relationship problems are based on the fact that my individual life doesn't satisfy me... I feel pretty depressed, I don't want to be like this anymore,I want to be calm and happy with myself, I don't want for my happiness to depend on him, I know it's my job to make myself happy but I've been demanding for him to do it.. I don't want to lose my boyfriend and I don't want to go crazy the two months he'll be gone... Tomorrow's our first anniversary and I really, really love this guy... Do you guys have any advice? Thanks for reading.

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