Will my life get any better?

Mar 01, 2010 - I didn't have a happy childhood.  I'm in my early 20s, and I see a therapist regularly to work on a lot of problems. Often times, memories from the past haunts me, and I have a break down. I don't think my life has been ever easy.  And, I often wish how things would be different for me if I had a normal childhood because I wouldn't have all the problems I have now. - 3 Comments

Am I wasting my time?

Feb 17, 2010 - I have been with my boyfriend for three years and I'm getting to the point where I feel I am wasting my time and we aren't going anywhere. We're both 23 and I have lived in my own place for a year.....the hope was that one day he would move in with me. However a year down the line we've had the conversation about living together and he has said that he doesn't want to move in with me because he see's no point in paying rent for somewhere that isn't owned and would rather help his mum pay the mortgage by living with her and paying board. - 3 Comments

Trapped in a pseudo arranged marriage ( Long)

Feb 14, 2010 - My fiance found me because his uncle knows my family.  He lives in Africa, where my family is orriginally from, but is planning on coming to the US to do graduate work.  He needed infomation on American schools, so he was somehow referred to me.  Or this is the story they want me to believe.  I feel like I was set up from day one.  I was not allowed to ignore his emails, and when I did, I was barated for being a "snob".  I was told I was an embarrasment for being 24 and unmarried, and that I am the only one left out of all my parent's friend's children.  I was living at home at the time, newly graduated from college, and had just moved to a new state.  I didnt know anybody my age, and so I did not date at all.  Eventually, my self esteem was so worn down by them telling me Im an embarrasment, and that by 29 no man will want me, that I reluctantly agreed to an online long distance relationship with this guy.  I had seen pictures of him, but I was not attracted to him physically in the least.  For that, I was told I was blind.  " Hes a catch! Hes a lawyer!" is what I would hear.  Or they would tell me Im delusional if I think Im waiting around for Brad Pitt to come sweep me off my feet.  I wasnt physically attracted to him, so I thought maybe I could make an emotional connection.  I tried to get to know him through emails, but the spark just wasnt there.  Then, about a month and 10 days later, he proposes we meet.  I was very reluctant, and stalled, yet him and my parents continued the pressure for us to meet.  I didnt see a rush: after all, we were going to Africa at the end of the year, I could meet him then.  But no, he wanted to meet right away.  My dad told me " Just meet him, if theres no chemistry, you can end it!"  So I did.  I flew to Africa for a week to meet him.  He proposed on day 5.  I felt pressured to say yes.  Fast forward a couple months, and I have made the mistake of my life.  While he is totally in love, Im miserable.  I said yes for all the wrong reasons.  Because I was so emotionally broken by my parent's words, I truly believed he was the only man who would ever want me.  I dont even know how he could love me as we've only spent a total of 5 days together when he proposed, and sence then, and extra 14!  I tried to break it off several times before the Africa trip, but I was always threatened by my parents ( who I am financially dependent on because Im a student again).  So during the trip tp Africa, I was told we would be meeting his family.  What I wasnt told was that we would be having very traditional African ceremonies announcing the pending wedding.  Now, my parents say we're " in too deep" and that I would make a lot of people upset if I ended things.  The also said I would no longer be their daughter.  They actually almost left me in Africa ( without my passport) because I wanted to end things), but I promised to make things work.  " We've done so much for you, do us this small favor" is what they said.  Now Im back in the US, trying to decide my next move.  I have little to no savings ( I paid my tuition myself while they pay my rent etc) so Im terrified I'll end up on the streets! - 6 Comments