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Are my expectations too high?

Posted By Anonymous on Jan 3, 2013 at 5:01PM

I've been with my boyfriend for 3.5 years, and we've lived together for the past 1.5 years. Everything seemed great for the first 1.5 years. I didn't notice any issues at all. But then he had a small issue with tardiness. For instance, he'll tell me he'll stop by within an hour. Mind you, at this time, we lived in the same building. Hours would typically pass, so I would go over to his room and see he would still be on his laptop just browsing the internet. Or sometimes, he would be standing around talking to neighbors. These neighbors happened to be a group of girls that all had crushes on him, ogled him, cut into anything I tried to say, and ignored me no matter how hard I tried to interact with them...so yeah, I'm bitter about that, but I tried not to let it get the best of me. He always had excuses: he never told me when he'd stop by, the time just flew by, he's just not good at keeping track of time, etc. This issue with tardiness is ongoing. He'll now say he'll be home for dinner at 8; I'll have it ready, and then he'll just not show up until midnight or so. Or he'll be studying with friends, promise to be home by midnight, and call me if anything changes. He never calls me to keep me in the loop, and he stays out hours upon hours more. Anyway, he has other issues, too. When he goes on breaks to visit family for a month or more: He'll say he'll call me in the morning or afternoon or whatever, and then he doesn't call at all. He'll promise me a skype date, and then just not show up. We'll be chatting, and he'll say 'brb' and then never come back. He'll say he'll email me the next day. He doesn't. No biggie; I just tell him I'm a little upset, but he could just email me the next day. He gladly agrees every single time, but then nothing happens. He could be browsing the internet all day or spend hours watching tv or even go out with friends, but he has a smartphone with a data plan so really he can email, text, call whenever he has a spare moment. For whatever reason, he can rarely ever make the time. I am not exaggerating when I say he has these issues at least half of the week, and it's been going on for 2 years. On top of this, his libido has drastically decreased, and it keeps decreasing. We average once every 2 weeks or so at this point, and I'm very frustrated. He rejects me a lot, and constantly tells me to lower my expectation in regards to sex, his tardiness, and all his other issues. 

So are my expectations too high? Or should I really just suck it up and try to lower them?