Since she is a mutual friend, I do think you have a right to step in here. Since the messages are pretty friendly, I wouldn't be a jerk about it. I don't think she is blatantly trying to step over a boundary, but I can see how you might think that. Why not let her know politely "You know, John and I love having you as a friend! However, John and I don't very much like getting text messages in the middle of the night. I know you mean no harm, but sometimes when you send John texts in the middle of the night, I get a little nervous, like maybe something bad happened or there is something wrong. I can't really handle that extra stress if you know what I mean. Can you send us messages to our email accounts instead?"

I knew of a girl who was obsessed with my boyfriend, and hadn't even seen him in years. One day, a text out of the blue came in the middle of the night saying that she missed him since he was 14 and thought of him all the time, and "loved" him. I texted her back and said that "he is lucky to have a friend that thinks of him after all those years, but was a but more apprpriate for the daytime. Afterall, you wouldn't want either of us to misconstrue why you are doing these things" or something along those lines. She sent me an IM the next day and apologized, and it never happened again. Some people just don't know. It's not a big deal to me, but not exactly ideal.

1. Turn your phones off when you go to sleep.
2. She is your husband's problem, not yours. If he won't put a stop to it, it's because he likes it, and then you've got a whole new problem on your hands.

I find it strange that "you wouldn't trade her for the world." This woman is sending your husband explicit texts in the middle of the night! There is clearly something wrong with her. She sounds desperate for attention and you're both giving it to her. Your husband is a married man so she should not be sending explicit texts to him. Who cares about if she is following proper "text etiquette" or not? She's flirting with your husband! Kick her to the curb.

Sabrinaland nailed it. Walk away from this loon.

block her texts

This is your husband's issue to take care of. If he needs to block her, then so be it.

Well, if that's a friend, I wonder what's enemy look like to you I'd be weirded out if a 'friend' did that to me.

I hope that your husband isn't encouraging her behavior behind your back because your friend either is really eccentric borderline nuts (who doesn't understand when someone tell them to not text them anymore?), or your husband isn't as straight-arrow and you thought he is.

I agree with the other ladies, he needs to take care of it. If talking to her doesn't work, and this bothers him as much as it bothers you, he needs to block her texts. There's no other way since she didn't 'get it' and if she changed to another phone to text, just turn that phone off for the night. I don't know if you guys have different phone for work or what, but if that's not a work phone, just turn it off for the night. If that's a work phone, even more reason to block her off. I don't know if you should continue 'friendship' with her if she keeps texting your hubby inappropriately.

Good luck.

*Unconditional love is a beautiful thing, just be sure to give it AFTER your conditions have been met.*

Wow, I really don't think that this post is about text message etiquette, I would say it is more about your friend coming on to your husband. That is not normal behaviour, to send messages like that to a married man. Are you sure that nothing is going on between the 2 of them that you do not know about? I think that your husband needs to talk to her about it(possibly you could be in the room when he phones her). I am not understanding how any woman could get the wrong idea about a married man when his wife is also friends with the person. I don't understand how you could ever consider someone who comes onto your husband as a good friend??? Confusing. Anyway, it is time to set some serious boundaries with her. If you like, you could also both sit her down next time you see her and tell her that it makes both of you very uncomfortable and is completely inappropriate. And if it happens again after that, then I would block her texts and reconsider your friendship with her. Good luck.

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." Buddha

Why don't you start texting her in the middle of the night? You can actually set google mail up to text at specific times, I think, so you don't even have to be awake.

All kidding aside, bottom line is that your husband is encouraging it by NOT demanding that it stop. This girl isn't a friend, she's a vulture. Your man needs to step up and stop it, otherwise I'd question his fidelity.

ITA with sabrinaland.

As for text message etiquette, I would think that general phone rules would apply. I think 7 pm is a bit early for a cut off, but certainly after 9 or 10 would be considered late.

I wouldn't like this either. She's acting like a 16 year old. It's not funny or cute anymore when she started with the texts to your husband. Have him block her. I would also have him call her in front of you and tell her he's married in case she forgot, and she's pushing her luck. She seems like she is searching for attention and now she is focused on what she really wants - him, with no regard for you. If you wanted to do something really immature have him text her back and say he's busy doing something to you, text by daylight please. Ha ha.

Your husband needs to flat out tell her that she needs to stop being so excessive. I would have to disagree with anyone who says it's your husband's problem, not yours. That's the kind of passiveness that leads to destruction. Not saying that you have to go rip her head out, but the record needs to be set straight. Nothing and no one should ever come between your marriage. If you have to, go old school and get pagers and shut your phone off at night.

ummm if someone was text messaging my boyfriend or husband anything with inappropriate content at any time of the day i would lose it. this is not okay. why would you want to keep someone like that as a friend? shes clearly disrespecting you and your friendship and doesn't care that shes crossed the line with a friend. Why didn't your husband ever say anything to tell her off when the texts started? maybe he's texting her back and its encouraging this behavior from her (idk somehow i just think theres more to this story considering the fact that shes been a friend of yours for quite some time and is doing these things behind your back which will definitely ruin that friendship and its clearly not affecting her).

i think you need to put a stop to this immediately and you and your husband need to cut her out of your lives. she has overstepped her boundaries with both of you and shown her lack of respect for your marriage and your friendships with her.

Texting someone in the middle of the night is wrong priod. But the explicit crap to your hubby is a big deal breaker in my book. Sit her down and tell her to knock it off.

I would have b*tch slapped this girl in my head a million times by now, and told her to cut the crap. If he persisted I would ask hubby to change the number and she won't get the new one. If she found it out and and kept it up I'd let her know I'm talking to the police about harassment. I'm not even kidding. Some friend! Yeah right, she's trying to get your husband out from underneath you! Check a b*tch, I have to say...

have you told her you have contacted the authorities yet? I hope you have if she is keeping this up.

I like notinthemood's answer, text her in the wee hours and all day long telling her "I'm thinking about you" - " about how I'm saving a record of all your looney texts to bring to the local precinct. Lol.