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Should i tell my bf I know he cheated before he goes away for Christmas

Posted By Anonymous on Dec 18, 2012 at 4:51AM

Hi everyone, I really need advice from an outside person, sorry it's a bit long.  Me and my boyfriend have been together for almost a year now and we live together, we have always got on well, were nice to each other, wanted to open business together in the future, I get on very well with his family, sometimes we had some arguments like couples do, but nothing serious. About 2 months ago he went away home for 2 weeks,which was in another country, after he came back he is different person. He has been pushing me away from that time, making mean comments, we had sex once since he came back, he said that we became more friends and said maybe we shouldnt have any sex for now. I waited for a couple of weeks, then I asked him why all of the sudden this was happening, he said it was because of the stress at work and his dad is being ill. He also said he is going for another 3 weeks home for Christmas and New Year to spend it with his father. I gave him space as much as I could, wouldn't disturb him when he came back from work, we barely spoke, he still tried to pick up fights. After about 2 weeks since he came back he said he needed to go away to clear his head, so I said ok, he went for a weekend, didn't say where he was going, when I asked him he said he didn't know himself. I was reading all sorts of literature on relationship, I felt so lonely, but was hoping and remembering great times we had together. After he came back, he said we should take a break in relationship and decide what will happen after he returns from home after New Year. Day after that I accidentally found receipt from a hotel for 2 people which was booked a week before he went away for the weekend so he lied about not knowing where he was going, also a restaurant bill and bill for flowers. I was so shocked but decided not tell him anything because I wanted to calm down. Yesterday I wanted to download some music so I took his ipod and found all the photos with him and another girl from that trip, hugging and also a bill for a massive bouquet of flowers sent to her home address and a note basically saying that he is dreaming about her and he will always be hers. I was shaking i still am, he has never said anything like that to me, never mind flowers and hotel stays.  I am so disappointed in him, he was the last person I thought would backstab me like this because he was cheated on and dumped for somebody else by his ex in the past when she went away on holiday, I feel so hurt, I don't understand how somebody can be so heartless, I always tried to be open about any issue in out relationship, but I don't know what to do, I don't want revenge, but I want him to feel the responsibility for his actions, I don't know if I should let him I know about what he did by leaving a photo of them two on his night table or something before leaving to work on the day he is flying away because i will leave home really early and wont see him until he gets back. I am going away to visit my family for Christmas, but I feel that if I don't let him know about all this I will spend another 3 miserable weeks and then get dumped by him when he comes back. Sorry for this long story. Any advice appreciated, thank you for your time.