I have been in a serious relationship for 2 years. My boyfriend graduates from college this year and wants to get an apartment with me. I have one year of college left and I really want to. I come from a strict Italian family who believes that I should not move in with someone until I am married. However, over the past year, my family situation has been rough. My mother has developed emotional and mental disorders due to some medicine she has been on. This summer I had to move out to live with a friend because I could not be home without being verbally (and sometimes physically) assaulted. I live at home now because I have a 15 year old brother who I do not want to abandon. My parents do not treat him the way they treat me at all -- he is the perfect son in their eyes. I do not know what to do. I know that if I move out, even though I am 21 years old, my parents will be furious with me. They will think I am leaving them for my boyfriend. I also do not want to make my brother feel alone. I do not know what to do. I am also scared because I am afraid that taking this next step in my relationship with my boyfriend may lead me to get hurt more. Please help!
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Marc by Marc Jacobs
This is clearly from the same asker as the money question. See my response there.
1In my opinion you should wait...
2If you're so unsure, don't do it.
3Move out of your parents' house, but move in with friends (or even find roommates off of craigslist) rather than your boyfriend. Moving in with a boyfriend at 21 is a huge committment and should not be rushed.
4It would be nice if you could separate your parental issues from moving in with your boyfriend.
Pretend you have an amazing family and love living with them. Would you still be dying to move in with your man? If the answer is no, I agree w/ DCRoamer that you should move out, but move in with friends or other roommates instead of your boyfriend.
Sorry to hear about your family situation. I hope it improves.
5I agree with everyone here. What if you thought about getting a six month lease with a friend? That way, you can re-evaluate how you feel about living with someone before you are married without having the pressure of current bad living situation.
Also, instead of feeling bad about not living with your brother, you could offer your new apartment (with your roommate's ok) as a place he can hang out when he is feeling weird. Maybe even schedule a night or two a week where just the two of you hang out? That way, he will know you are always there for him and he will have an escape! (Plus, imagine the good example you will be setting by taking care of yourself! Nothing will encourage him to get away from a bad situation more than having you as a role model.)
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