I went out to eat with my boyfriend of two years last night. We were having a great night until our waitress showed up. She basically had her breast hanging out and openly flirted with my boyfriend! he couldn't pronounce a word on the menu and she had to slide in that she can't pronounce most of the words in her biology classes. My boyfriend then asked her where she went to school? and she goes to the same college as him, go figure. She then goes on about how her ex-boyfriend lives in the area (Kudos for finding a way to slide that into the conversation) it just really annoyed me for some reason. I was really gracious the rest of the night and said thank you a bunch of times and please, my mother taught me manners. I even complimented her on her earrings. I told my boyfriend it made me a little insecure that they both go to the same school and she seems more like his type (he tells me all of the time he loves brunettes) I can't help that I'm a blonde and love it! I like my hair color. I didn't find her very intimidating because I like what I look like. I just feel insecure, which I hope is normal. My boyfriend doesn't seem to think she was flirting.
I think why I felt so annoyed was that I have this theory that all women should look out for each other and not flirt or initiate any cheating with other womens boyfriends/husbands. It's like "Hello, I'm right here!" and she kept talking to him and ignored me. I tried to get into the conversation and it was like my voice was completely ignored. How would you feel if this happened to you?
Pedro Garcia
I'd be pissed, but honestly, you absolutely can not hold other people to your moral standards. It's totally unrealistic and will almost always backfire on you.
Some people don't care that the person they're flirting with is on a date.
I was on a date a few weeks ago and the waiter was flirting with me, i didn't mind it! He was much more charming than my date, so there's another perspective on it.
Chalk it up to her being an idiot and kinda skanky, and let it go.
(p.s. she could have just been hustling him for a good tip...)
1I would have been pissed! I hate when girls try and flirt with my husband. It is rude. You should have left her a good tip with a note that said "here's some money so you can buy a shirt that covers your boobs and keep them out of my boyfriends face!" Of course i would have loved to have done that but not had the nerve!
2Maybe she was just trying to make sure she got a good tip- if you trust your boyfriend then you have nothing to worry about. If she happens to bump into him at school, then he will tell you about it. Unless she is some crazy stalker type, I doubt she is going to try to track down a guy who obviously has a girlfriend. I was out with my mom once and the waiter was flirting with me and I had no idea until he walked away and my mom was like, wow he was totally hitting on you! Ballsy thing to do in front of your own mother!
3Sometimes when you are happily in a committed relationship, the motives behind people talking to you dont register on the radar. Dont stress about it.
Hahaha I think it's halarious when girls flirt with my man. I find a lotof the time it's waitresses and he doens't even notice. Usually I'll say "Well, she wants in your pants!" And he tries to deny it, but we both know. I trust him, I know he's not going to leave me for some bimbo waitress.
It happens to me too. I get hit on, and my boyfriend is around too and he gets SUPER pissed!!! He knows how it feels to have your significant other being hit on or flirted with, so he tried not to continue it either and "ask for it".
4Don't forget - she was working for a tip. That was likely 99% of her motive. If your boyfriend acts too flattered, remind him of that.
Other than that, you need to grow up and be more secure in yourself. If you've been with your man for 2 years, it should be clear how he feels about you. If he's giving you other warning signs, or reasons to worry, that's a whole other question.
5i'd be annoyed too but for real, it sounds like she was just being perky and effusive to get a good tip. let it go!
as a former waitress, i tried to be conscious of being nice to my customers but not too nice, especially if it was a couple. i also made sure to address both people but from what you're saying, it really sounds harmless so let it die.
6Well truth be told you are in a relationship with your boyfriend not the waitress. He is the one who should have stopped her dead in her tracks. She was trying to get a tip or maybe she was trying to pick him up regardless she is committed to you he is. You can expect other people outside of your relationship to do the right thing you have to believe your boyfriend will. If you cant put that trust in him and you are insecure then maybe he is not the right person for you. He should reassure you not intimidate you or make you feel uncomfortable under any circumstances. I would re-evaluate my relationship if you feel this strongly.
7I think that some men don't notice girls flirting with them until they openly hit on them.
My hubby is like that, I remember at one time during a party, a woman was chatting him up, and even touching his arms (in almost a caressing way) right in front of me (my hubby's very affectionate toward me in public so it's pretty obvious we're a couple).
After she left, I teased him that a lady was flirting with him, he's like "What? She did? I didn't know that."
It's happened a couple more times and he never realized until I pointed it out to him, and of course, he wasn't rude to any of them, he responded when talked to, politely.
So maybe your bf isn't aware that the lady was flirting with him at all, he'd probably think she's just being friendly and the fact that they go to the same school probably encouraged for longer conversation. So don't even worry, and yes, if I were you, I'd be a little mad if he's openly flirting with her too, but you're the one who knows him well, surely you know that he's just being polite too, right? If so, just drop it, and learn like I do, just because we're women, it doesn't mean everyone is looking out for everyone else...unfortunately.
8This is good, in theory. But if you tell another girl this (whether you associate or not) and she doesn't agree? What then? The penis has no memory and no loyalty. I say talk to your boyfriend because chances are the girl wasn't having that conversation by herself. A relationship is nothing without respect.
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