My boyfriend and I have been together four years. I also have a five-year-old son (he's not the dad, dad is out of the picture).  Recently, my boyfriend moved out of state, halfway across the country, to go to grad school while my son and I stayed behind (I didn't have any money saved up, and I have a really good job here, though it's not what I want to do for much longer). I am completely miserable and unsure of what to do. I have never been in a long distance relationship before, and I am trying my hardest to make it work.  He tells me not to move out there where he is "unless I have a reason" because he doesn't want me following him out there just because he's there and then wind up resenting him if I hate it.  Also, he says if I do wind up moving out there, we can move in together. The problem is, he is a grad student, doesn't have a job except for tutoring, and is living for free in his step-dad's rental house with his twenty-one-year-old brother and his best friend.  Interpretation: I would be paying the rent.  Previously, I offered to pay the rent while he saved up money for grad school.  Basically, he has no financial stability.  He has told me on numerous occasions that he doesn't believe in marriage because he witnessed his parents have a terrible divorce.   Now we are in this long distance thing, and I'm not sure where it's going. I feel like I need to tell him that what I want is a husband and a father for my son, and if that's not what he wants, then I'm gone.  I don't want to give him an ultimatum because those never work.  Trying to change someone doesn't work, either.  I just feel completely alone and dependent on him while he is doing his grad school thing, meeting new people, and fulfilling his dream.  Meanwhile, he says I can move out there next year and we can be together, but at the same time I know I will be the one fronting all the bills.  I need help!