I have been dating this guy I have known for more than five years for about a month and a half now. He made it clear to me two years ago that he had feelings for me, but I never felt the same way until recently. The past six months we've been on dates and I started to develop feelings for him. Anyways, he has told me that the reason he always kept pursing me was because I kept rejecting him. He liked the idea of a challenge. But now he has me and I'm afraid that he might get bored with me or the relationship is not what he expected it to be. Of course, he hasn't done anything to make me feel that way, but I can't help having that feeling in the back of my head. How do I keep him interested?
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You can date him without totally giving in. Stay busy, don't always answer your phone, go out on weekends without him, don't accept last minute invitations, and don't profess your feelings about him! (Until he asks. And even then keep it cool - "I really like spending time with you.") And, my favorite, make him wait to have sex. I generally wait 2 months before sleeping with a new guy. It helps me make sure he's interested in me and not just sex.
1Is it out of the question to talk to him about this? In the relationship I'm currently in I could definitely bring this up and be sure that he would be open and honest in hearing me out and in giving me his response. If you're looking for something real, then you need to be able to do this. If you can't, or are not sure even after knowing each other for 5 years, then that's worrying.
You could bring it up sometime when you're already having a talk where you're sharing things you think about, and do so good-naturedly and without pressuring him or making him afraid to answer. And you should genuinely be open and try to understand and empathize with whatever he says. If you can't understand and empathize, then this relationship has some big issues.
You can act the hard-to-get part all you want, but if you can't trust him with your heart then why would you want to give it to him?
2Read the book "Why men love b*tches." I swear by it.
3How about you just be yourself, and see how that goes... all men like a challenge - but they also like GIRLS. So if he likes YOU, he'll stick around, with or without a virtual chase. Don't go playing games; just be you! It's always worked for me.
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