I'm 167 cm tall, and 180 pounds. My parents constantly tell me that I need to lose weight. My boyfriend claims that I'm not fat, and that he thinks I'm beautiful, but he admits that I should be careful to not gain any more weight.
I'm so desperate to be thin, but I lack the discipline to stay on a diet. I've been fat for five years, always attempting to lose weight. I was with my friend the other day, and to my surprise, after we ate, she went to the bathroom to throw up what she's eaten. Shocked, I asked what was going on.
She explained that once in a while she binges and throws it up. This is surprising because she looks extremely healthy and fit. Eating and throwing up is known as Bulimia, harmful to your esophagus and teeth because of your stomach acids. I've read though, that rinsing your mouth with baking soda after you throw up will cut back on the negative effects on your teeth. And though Bulimia only gets rid of about 50% of the calories that you have eaten, that is still a significant amount.
I'm thinking of throwing up my food if I have larger meals, the way my friend does. She explains that she does it rarely, and always rinses afterwards, and that's why it hasn't taken a toll on her teeth.
Despite the fact that people say it's not worth it, I want to lose weight a lot. Being fat makes me very insecure towards my boyfriend, taking a toll on our relationship, because it makes me feel inferior to my friends and other girls.
Apparently most girls who have bulimia seek control of their lives, but really all I want is to be thinner and happier. Seeking control and things like that- I could hardly care less.
Throwing up food is like an easier way out. Exactly how bad are the effects? Will it really work?