When I first started dating my boyfriend, porn bothered me a lot. The idea of him watching porn made me really upset. I told him this, and he asked if I would like him to stop watching porn. He said he would do it not because he agrees with me, but because he didn't want to do anything that he knew upsets me.
Throughout the next few months, he tells me that sometimes he leaks semen throughout the day, and gets hard ons for no reason. In no way does he hint that he thinks this is my fault. Either way, after a while, I told him I realize how silly I had been, agreeing that he should stop watching porn for me. I said that if porn bothered me, I should stay away from it, not having HIM stay away from it. We agree that this porn issue should not be a problem, and thus he is free to watch porn whenever he likes (like he should be).
Now 3 years have gone by. In my defense, when the above happened, I was 16-17 years old. I have long since gotten over this porn issue. I watch it sometimes too. I casually suggest that my bf and I watch porn together because I think it would be fun, and he agreed.
It turned out to be really awkward for both of us, each awkwardly asking what the other person wanted to watch, long silences while the porn was playing, not aroused at all, and ending with us shutting off the porn.
We go to bed and hug, and after the awkwardness fades away, he admits to me that because he knows porn used to bother me, it's hard for him to enjoy porn with me. He says that it might have ruined the fun of us watching porn together permanently. I explain to him that I was younger back then and I don't feel the same way anymore, but it doesn't seem to help.
I really want us to have the fun of watching porn together, but I don't know if it's a good idea. It was REALLY not enjoyable at ALL. Should I try again? Or just leave it because of what happened in the past?
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Instead of sitting there watching it, start acting out what they're doing. Just take control next time.
1Eh.
My fiancee knows that I love watching porn, but he's not that comfortable watching one with me. He can/will watch one on his own, but he'd rather not have sex with me after watching porn. Weird, eh? Naw. I mean, I'm more hot and bothered than him after we watched porn together. I kinda think it's because porn usually equals masturbation for the boy so it's a pretty private act they're used to doing themselves.
Does he still watch porn by himself? I mean, maybe it's just not his 'thing' to be aroused watching porn then screwing you afterward, maybe he'd rather have sex with you WITHOUT the porn
Or maybe he feels like you're 'watching and judging' him, it's pretty uncomfortable for some guys to be aroused watching sexual images of other females in front of their gfs. Maybe your bf as far thinks that it's kind of 'cheating' on his part, to be aroused by the females on the movie.
I dunno, I just don't think it's such a big deal.
2If you want to spice up the bedroom, there are other ways to do so without the porn, or if you want to watch one together...GET HIM TO CHOOSE the porn. Go together to the stores, buy sex toys and rent/buy the dvd HE likes, or let him go buy one himself.
I guess I don't understand the part about leaking semen throughout the day and getting hard ons for no apparent reason? Is it the case that he is not able to masturbate without porn? Why couldn't he masturbate anyway, without the porn??? Anyways, I think you should just leave the issue alone for a little awhile. How about talking about your fantasies with each other, and letting one another know what turns you on? Then once you have amazing sex afterwards, you might surprise him one night with a porn related to your fantasy (for example, teacher and naughty student). Then, tell him that you realized that you are aroused by it and give him oral sex while he is watching while masturbating yourself at the same time. That should do the trick. Good luck and have fun.
3You dont HAVE to watch porn together... just let him do his thing and you do yours. If you dont want to watch it then dont, simple as that. You've already let him know that he's free to watch it if he wants to, no need to get yourself out of your comfort zone just to watch it too.
4You dont HAVE to watch porn together... just let him do his thing and you do yours. If you dont want to watch it then dont, simple as that. You've already let him know that he's free to watch it if he wants to, no need to get yourself out of your comfort zone just to watch it too.
5ugh, why is it posting doubles? I only hit it once!
6I seriously wanted to start counting how many times you said 'porn'.. i couldn't even focus on the post.. sorry
7I've had my boyfriend ask me which porn sites to go to before! lol. I really dont think this should be an issue between you two. Why do you feel like you have to watch porn together? There are plenty of other fun things that you can do and you said it yourself...watching porn together just wasnt fun for either of you. No need to force it...just find something else that you both like doing together. And do that thing together. And then each of you do what you like to do by yourselves, without eachother. I dont think this is quite the crisis situation that you are making it sound like.
8Now it runied everything is a bit of a melodramatic statement. Its JUST watching porn together...you can do other stuff..role play, different positions, watch porn on your own. Your sex life and relationship isn't about to go bust just from this one thing.
"What difference does it make to the dead, the orphans and the homeless, whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy?" Ghandi
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