I don't get why people google their exes... alright, I did it once and it's because my mom one day told me, OMG, I heard ::my ex's name:: got shot in some mall shooting or something. Only then, it piqued my interest to google and find out more if it's true or not, (turned out it's another guy with similar name), and even then: MY FIANCEE knew that I was googling that guy.

Anyway: It seems that he hasn't really gotten over his ex if he's doing it excessively. Once every once in a year or something..ok..maybe he was just curious. But doing it on almost a daily basis? Hmmm...definitely not over the ex.

I only know one person in real life (off-line) who did such things as your bf does, and guess what: HE was still very much in love with his ex. The same woman who cheated on him, and did pretty bad things to him. When her name's mentioned, the dude always said negative thing about her, etc, didn't miss a beat. But sometimes it showed up to the surface that he actually thought about her often and tried his best to update himself of his ex's life.

And he's been MARRIED to a wonderful lady whom he claims to love a couple years after the ex dumped him. And my friend treated his wife wonderfully (when I hang out with the missus, she's always happy and gushes about her wonderful hubby). Unfortunately, dear hubby is never over his ex. --The sad part of this story is: Now, he's cheating on his wife with his ex after his ex finally expressed that she wasn't too happy with her own marriage--

Now it's going to be up to you. What's your deal breaker. If you're ok being a Martha (reference: The Notebook), then by all mean, stick around. Hang on, be miserable all the time, don't complain/whine though, you choose your own poison on this one.
But seriously, don't you think you deserve better than this, or at least you deserve a man who loves as much as you love him (I'm assuming you love only him and not hung up on some exes, that is)?
Breaking up is never easy, but seriously, think about what you really want from a relationship (whether it's with him or with other man eventually), and make up your mind. You're still in your prime age, you'll bop up, lady. You'll do just fine. There are MANY NICE men out there, not only him. Just because he's your first nicer man, doesn't mean you won't meet others.

Remember: YOU ARE NOT HAPPY now. If you're depressed, don't feel like you want to go home, etc knowing what he's been doing when he's away. Dude. YOU'RE NOT HAPPY no matter what a nice guy he is. The dude just isn't over his ex.
If I were you, my anger would be that he'd been misleading me all along and haven't been able to be really 'faithful' to you by checking up his ex. As for having feelings for an ex, unfortunately, things like that can't be controlled, they need time to either go away or whatever.

Maybe one day when he's finally over this ex of his, he'll realize what a fool he was for doing what he did, and seek you out. Until then, don't waste your time.

You two are suffering from serious communication issues. ASK HIM ABOUT IT. Say "When I used your computer yesterday, I noticed that you've been looking up Jenny. What's she up to these days?" Start a casual conversation and see where it goes, then follow your gut.

I will say that if this is the nicest man you've ever been with, you need higher standards.

If you snoop you will often find things you dont like. I've looked up my ex in the recent past even though I am in a very happy relationship and just got engaged. It's not that I wanted to get back together with him or even that I like him at all as a person but just a general curiosity of what this person who had been such a large part of my life in the past was up to these days. I was curious whether he was happy or sad, whether he had moved on or if he was still living in his parents house drinking his life away. I never told me fiancee that I was looking for him but if he ever asked me then I would probably admit it, but thats just me because I know my fiancee could care less. We are secure in our relationship and I know if he was checking up on his exs it wouldnt be so he could go run off with them if they showed interest.

You snooped, you found something that you didnt like and now you're questioning your relationship. You're an adult, either talk to him like an adult or give him the benefit of the doubt. Either way, you're probably not ready to be living together if you cant even talk about stuff like this.

Agree with hope.

Do you really always want to be wondering where his head is at? Don't you think he should be putting all of that computer Facebook time into your relationship instead of rehashing his old one?

If you are miserable now, it will not get better. He is clearly not over her. Talk to him about it, but don't expect a light to go off in his head, and for him to be all about you. He is not ready for you, and could benefit from counseling himself in order to let go....do you really want to deal with that?

I think you should move on and find someone who wants to face you everyday, not the computer.

Agree with Fallen. You opened Pandora's Box and are dealing with the consequences. And, if you can't even talk with him honestly about it, what's the point of living together, let alone being together? Also, I would seriously examine why you're obsessed about checking his internet history; it seems like there are deep-seeded trust issues.

Asking him didn't exactly get you an honest answer and it probably won't the next time either.You have every right to feel the way you do.

If he's searching numerous websites looking for her and it's happened more than once, then IMO it's past the point of just being curious.IDK call me crazy but he should be over it 3 years later.He should be putting all his time and energy into you not her.

It's abundantly clear that he has not moved on.The only thing I can say is trust your instincts, end it before it gets worse, and find yourself a man who isn't busy wasting his time being obsessed with a relationship that was supposedly over a long time ago.

Either you didn't give us enough evidence or you don't have enough evidence. Being friends with someone on a networking sight isn't emotional cheating. But if you can't handle it, just join facebook, add him as your friend, look through his friends list then go talk to him about it. It'll probably end up in a fight and another possible break up. I'm guessing you don't trust him, so step back and consider whether or not this relationship is truly what you want.

Wait wait wait.. let's get real. You 'casually' looked at his history..? NOO You did it on purpose. If you don't like what you're going to find, stop snooping.! He's letting you use his laptop to work/play, not SNOOP. You're showing your insecurities and that's not attractive. Instead of confronting him about it, why don't you try to be the awesome girlfriend he fell in love with instead of some jealous, nosey girlfriend? I'm dating someone WONDERFUL and would never, ever get back my ex fiance or ex boyfriends but sometimes i'm just curious as to what they're up to and what's new. This person took up a giant portion of this mans life so you can't be mad because he's curious. Haven't you ever wondered what your ex's are up to? Maybe you feel like you've been slacking as his girlfriend and of course this is making you insecure so as of right now, he's yours.. so try to keep it that way !

(i'm sorry if this is harsh but i'm thinking about what would happen if my current beau saw me googling an ex, which i do)

I just read fallen's response and I should have just put 'agreed with Fallen' rather than pretty much repeating everything she said hahahaha

lol you made some good point Jeny and now I dont feel so alone in my googling exs just for fun

Fallen, congrats on your engagement! That's very exciting.

Onto the post, I was reading it kinda waiting for him to have like emailed his ex love notes or something. It seriously bugs you that he googles her? I google my exes that I'm not in touch with from time to time. They were big parts of my life and I get curious about what they're up to. It doesn't mean a damn thing (except that I am bored at work)!

You, however, were obviously snooping. None of this "casually glancing at the history" bullsh*t. Own up to it!

I don't know, I guess I wouldn't consider lots of fighting and 2 breakups in the first year, combined with a total lack of trust, to be a happy relationship. But that's just me.

thanks pop and bingo on the major issues within the first year thing... biiig red flag, not worth it, move on.