Yes, you can. Look, I lived up north my entire life (in the US). We now live in Georgia, a place I despised even in travel. It is a completely different life for me, and I was very unhappy for a while. It's hard to get used to a place you are not familiar with. It doesn't take a conscious effort, it just takes accepting the situation. No matter what, we had a choice. I had a choice to not come, and leave the love of my life. I made the decision not to. We had a home together, and I wouldn't let a state I didn't like come between him and I. It made no sense. So, is it still hard? Of course. I miss my family and friends, and I miss being where I was most comfortable. I am going on with my life. I try to find the beauty in anything, and sometimes I even step back and admire how easy life is down here. I never feel rushed, I don't talk as fast, my heart doesn't beat as fast. I can say getting away from the hustle and bustle is so supremely positive, that I know if given the chance to take my SO, and stay here or move back, I'd stay here.

When it comes down to it, don't pass judgement on a place you know nothing about. You are in one city, in one state, doing one thing. You haven't seen the United States, you haven't even given it a chance to be okay in you're book. You know what you know, Europe. But you don't know what it's like here. I know where I lived before. I don't know much about my state, and for a long time, I didn't want to know. I didn't go new places or try new things because I couldn't get over the fact that I wasn't home. I made fun of this place because it was different, because I live a life I never dreamed of. It's different. Every place is different, but you live with it.

You can start to accept the US when you start to accept that you're not in Europe, and it's different here. You will start to accept it if you open your mind and allow yourself to become a part of this place. You will start to accept it when you can look at your situation and see good in it. You can't force yourself, but it will come, and you will start to accept it, and hey, a year from now, you may not even want to go back.

The US isn't all that bad! Hey, Georgia isn't all that bad.

Oh, and as for making the right decision. I didn't see it then, but coming down here made me sane. I don't have anxiety issues anymore, I feel calmer. Knowing what I know now, I think I am crazy for even thinking about going home.

Your feelings aren't unique. Every liberal I know (American or otherwise) hates the United States. If I were you I would find groups of like-minded people (like the Young Democrats) and share my disgust for America with them. Remember, they feel the same way. It might make you feel less alone and, even though you'd still be in a place you hate, at least you could laugh, commiserate and bond with others about your plight.

Afterthought: College campuses are teaming with America-hating liberals. Just take one adult extension course and it could lead to relationships with dozens of U.S. hates. At the very least you would be around like-minded people. It might make you feel better.

First, ignore the "advice" from Loganside.

Second, depending on the size of the city you currently live in, you might be able to find clubs specific to the country that you're from. For example, the city I live in has a number of clubs dedicated to German, Slavic, and Dutch cultures. Connecting with people who share your culture and have experienced everything that you're feeling right now might help you feel more at home in the US. It might also be worth searching for a bakery or deli that specializes in or imports food from your home country.

Because your boyfriend is unwilling to compromise on a permanent locale, try to compromise with him on vacations. Make plans to visit your home as much as you can afford to do so. Alternatively, make plans to have your friends and relatives come and visit you in the US.

Try to get involved in your community as much as you can. If you build strong relationships with people, you'll at least have some pleasant associations with where you live.

A move the size of the one you made is an incredibly difficult thing to do. I commend you for being brave enough to make the jump!

Thank you guys for all the good ideas. Another thing I forgot to add is that I have been living here for over 7 years. Before I had to because I had to finish college and couldnt leave my parents. But since the last almost 4 years its the only thing I am dreaming of, moving back to Europe. I will definitely try to find a group of people that share the same opinions. But even when I meet people from Europe here, some move back some love it here. Everyone values something else, I value history, family modest big city living that I had there and dont see here (and of course many other things)
I would love to try another city here in the US since it is such a big country. ...maybe that will help me to see this country from a different perspective. But both your answers are giving me some hope. Thank you

lildorothyparker, this was great advice. I feel that you could relate to the situation I am im. Yes I have friends from Germany, who are unfortunately moving back often and also hard to find even with German expat clubs or regional clubs here. I do visit with my parents german restaurants but it is hard, because then we realize how much we miss everything. Because of many circumstances my parents are unable to move back, therefore it seems ideal to stay here by my parents and bf.
The idea you gave me with going on vacation to Europe as often as possible I really likes. I just need to convince my bf that its worth the extra money, compared to what you could have in mexico in those all-inclusive resorts.
Thank you lildorothyparker

You need to improve your attitude first. As long as you sit around feeling sorry for yourself, resenting your boyfriend and "hating" where you are, you're going to be miserable.

So, give yourself a time line. Tell yourself you'll do everything you can to be happy in the US for 6 months. Lose the crappy attitude and really try. If you're still unhappy after 6 months, return to Europe. Let your boyfriend know he can come with you if he'd like, or he can stay in the US.

Perhaps something is lost in the translation here, but telling people you hate the United States while you are living here is not going to endear you to anyone.

You only have one life, and if you are so unhappy, it is YOUR fault for not making any changes, not your boyfriend's and certainly not America's.

Don't blame an entire country for your unhappiness... you have only yourself to blame for that. I am sure if you go back to Germany, you will meet plenty of sensitive people there, given that nation's history.

(Doesn't feel good to hear negative generalizations about your country, does it? I am sure your reaction to my comment is as negative as mine to yours)

I agree with Luisa...quit whining, change your attitude, and guess what...you may actually make some friends.

BTW, to any other posters who will jump on me for this...I am not in a sugarcoating mood today. If you feel like coddling, go for it.

You've been here 7 years!? If you hate it so much, you are better off leaving. Seven years of misery is not worth it. I still stand by the fact that you haven't opened your mind to accepting a new country. We all have our faults, and god knows Europe isn't perfect either. You can choose to hate it and live miserably, or you can choose a different path. This feeling would be understandable after a short amount of time, but it's almost a decade. Your boyfriend shouldn't move to a different country to make you happy. You shouldn't do the same if it was the opposite way around. You made your bed, and now you're lying in it.

you should take control of what you want. You can either change your attitude and start being more accepting, or move back to Europe. It's not hard to accept some place new after you have stopped feeling sorry for yourself. I felt like crap after moving to Georgia, and guess what? After all of my complaining, I never want to leave. You haven't allowed yourself to get attached, because you are still in the mind frame that what you had was better.

I assure you that everyone adjusts. Home is where you lay your head, you are here now, you are probably a citizen now. The United States is your home, I'd start being okay with it or move back to Europe.

7 years is a lonnnng time to live in a place that supposedly makes you miserable. I agree.. if you hate it so much, then move back. I agree with Chtstne in that you probably haven't opened your mind up to living in a new country. I lived abroad, I understand it's hard.. but you either suck it up and appreciate the experience or go back home.

I certainly don't think you should team up with other US haters while you're here (I kind of got the feeling that's what someone was getting at). What a freaking terrible idea. Yeah, its ok to gripe.. but don't dedicate your energy to hating something. That's never a good choice.

Just appreciate the present.. or change it and be away from your parents and boyfriend. If you can't have both, then you must pick and STOP putting the blame elsewhere. It is your choice and your life. Live it how you want.

Wow, I butchered her username. *Chrstne. AND, I am usually a little opposed to the harshness in Group Therapy from time to time, but I am really glad that jazzy has the balls to make that post.

I totally agree with Luisa and jazzytummy!

I know lots of miserable people who misidentify the source of their unhappiness... you're not the first. You won't find happiness in Europe or in groups of other miserable people, you'll find it in you. But you're more than welcome to go searching. In fact, please do! This country was built on the blood, sweat and tears of families like my own, who left Europe a long time ago for a better life and didn't just find it... they made it. They fought and died for it. For all the reverence you have for your own family and heritage, please don't come to my country and slam the work of my family and our heritage. We have history here and nobody is forcing you to stay and be a part of it.

"People are just as happy as they make up their minds to be." -- Abraham Lincoln

Maybe quoting an American is just adding insult to injury, but it's true.

Happiness isn't dependent on location.

My experience has been that when one person has a problem with EVERYONE, the problem is always themselves.

I really do understand how you feel. I'm in the same boat. My husband and I left California for Boston, Massachusetts for his job. It's so freaking cold here, most of my friends don't live here, and have to fight off frustration and anger at my situation on a daily basis.

I also really understand why someone from Europe would find living in the United States difficult. There are aspects of this culture that sometimes feel like they are going to drown me. I feel like my priorities and sensibilities are incomprehensible to most people. I don't like how quickly we jump to militarism and war, and the way we treat the least among us horrifies me. It's my dream to leave the US for a few years to experience other cultures - to see if they have answers that elude us.

I don't have an answer for you. And I don't feel like many are present in this thread - just indignation that anyone might not find the US the sunshiniest place that's ever existed. It's probably the same attitude that makes you feel unhappy here.

Spacekatgal,

She has been in a place that she "hates" for SEVEN YEARS for a guy she isn't even married to.

Give me a break. If she had said she was from the US and moved to a different part of the country she disliked for a guy that hasn't committed in 7 years, most of the sugars here would be all over her.

No one here said the US was the "sunshiniest place that's ever existed". (I find that interesting coming from you, who left the sunshiniest place that's ever existed to go to the east coast.)

I am just saying that if you have been so miserable for so long without making a change, you are your own problem.

I respect how you feel JazzyTummy, wanting to give this person "tough love." But my feeling is, this thread isn't really about you so I was talking to her directly.

But, as long as you raised the issue, you do have some good points. Seven years with just a boyfriend in a place you hate is too long. Marry him and deal or move on is pretty direct, reasonable advice. Beating someone up with your opinion is not something I would feel comfortable doing, though.

If you post on a public forum, you should be prepared for every kind of response, some coddling, some not. For the record, I was not the one who introduced the word "hate" into the discussion, the OP did.

Just because I don't sugarcoat my advice doesn't mean I think this thread is "about me". I do not appreciate that comment.

I'm an immigrant, and I think that anyone who hates being here in US..should leave the country because no one is stopping you or not letting you move out of the country and staying for a bf who won't compromise with you and such..isn't good, it's like toxic when you hate it so much here.
And yes, I realize that this is not the happiest, sunshiniest place in the world, I have my sad/negative/disappointed/angry moments, I've met hypocritical, horrible, bigoted people to great, wonderful people (and none of them perfect and I don't expect them to be) but I like living here and never regret my decision to be here.

I followed a long road to become a US resident and it's just sad when someone hates here so much feels like they're stuck (hey, I moved from another country, by the way, so it is possible to move, and yes, I left a bf and lots of friends and family members too in the other country). No one is stuck, OP,.

Wait..7 years...and you're not married to your bf and you probably haven't discussed marriage (or have you?) then the only path to take if not marriage (and taking care of the paperwork)...are this: if you're done with your student visa, you either have to get a job and get the H1-B then hopefully get sponsored for a Green card by your company then perhaps take the next stage to citizenship. Those are long road and you need to fork out quite a bit of money too (and energy and long waiting and long line LOL). If you hate it so much here, you won't want to go through all that, believe me.

I sincerely suggest for you to move back to your country. It's a little awkward too to ask someone to stay here in the US (in my case anyway) when you hate it so much, I can't imagine how your interview will go when the time comes for you to take care of residency/citizenship. You'll have to lie a lot and say how you want to live here, etc and you don't, be true to yourself.

*Unconditional love is a beautiful thing, just be sure to give it AFTER your conditions have been met.*

Hello. I too am in the same boat, but I moved to Europe for a guy. My problem is I was so happy here the first year. I have a good job, I made a lot of friends, and I have been able to see so much. The problem is my family makes it really hard for me to stay here. Telling me that they miss me all the time, and that I should come home. This has made my last year here in germany absolutely crappy. I have made myself unhappy because my family is unhappy. The thing is life has been so good for me here, and I am able to visit my family every year. It would be the same as if I lived there with them. I even broke up with my boyfriend. Being without him here the last 2 weeks have been awful. I love him and only broke up with him to make my move back to america easier. The problem is he is the first guy I have ever had so much in common with and we get along most of the time really good. I want to be happy here. I do have the opportunity to be happy here. I just need to decide what makes me happy and not everyone around me. That is a problem I have been dealing with my whole life.
Good luck to you.