I absolutely understand what you are feeling. I'm going through something very similar. We moved around a lot and I went to a bunch of different schools. I recently got a chance to have dinner with some friends that I hadn't seen in the past 12-18 years. It was a wonderful evening.

Even with that positive though, I don't feel 'connected' to anywhere and I hate that. It makes me feel kind of lost. My husband doesn't understand the desire to feel connected with where you live.

I'm very sorry you are feeling this way, but please know, you are not alone.

I know exactly how you feel sweety; I've been going through a bit of an identity crisis myself. I was born and raised in the Philippines, but we moved here to Los Angeles 7 years ago (I was 13). So, excluding my early childhood, my life has been evenly split between the two. My fondest memories are of my childhood friends (I went to school with the same group of people since kindergarten through 7th grade) but when I look at us now and they are so different from me. My "new friends" (I guess you can say) just get me more, yet I don't feel the same family-like bond towards them. It's weird, it's like your heart is in limbo. And to take it a step further I just don't feel like a Filipino citizen anymore; too much of my ideals are more in line with Western thought I guess, yet I don't feel like I am or ever will be American.

I wish I could help you as well, as I haven't actually found a physical place to call home either, but right now, it's actually my boyfriend. He's my home. It sounds kind of silly, maybe even dangerous, but he is. If home is where the heart is, where you feel safe and where can be yourself, he certainly fits the bill. I can live with that for now--until I do figure things out or make a home for myself. You can do the same. You've got plenty of time to build new memories. Though, one day I plan to move to his home, in England, and I hope it'll make a good one for me.

As for your boyfriend though, I'm sorry he made you feel that way Is he aware of how serious this is to you? I'm sure he didn't mean any harm and it was just a dumb joke, but you might wanna talk to him about it. Though I think the notion that you were born in Cali and therefore a Californian etc etc is BS. Anyone can be born here and absolutely hate it. Are they still Californians then? Like I said, you've got plenty of time to figure it out. You'll have a home before you know it.

OH and one last thing, I think you should definitely go to your high school reunion! (The one you went to from 9th-11th) Who cares if you graduated somewhere else? Your heart is definitely in that school and people will know you!

Good luck

Okay, first of all, your bf is a Packer fan - of course he's going to make fun of you for rooting for the Bears. It doesn't change the fact that you should always root for the Bears - never root for the Packers.

Now, on to the serious stuff....you've been influenced by every town you lived in as a child, so each city and town is a part of you, hon. Yes, your history is more of a mosaic than a plate glass window, but mosaics have so much variety and texture - they're beautiful!

So instead of feeling like you have no home town, you actually can claim many towns as your home town. I hope you become willing to embrace the different influences of each place, and cherish each for what it contributed to your character. And you know, you don't really know where you'll end up when you finish college - but your life up to this point has really helped you learn how to make a new place feel like home. Don't worry, kiddo - after college, you'll have the opportunity to decide where you want to put down roots - and then you'll put them down. Happy Thanksgiving.

Home isn't necessarily something that you have when you're growing up. You can start to create it right now. Find where you love to be, and start putting down some roots.

I know that doesn't change that you don't have a group of friends you grew up with, but that becomes less and less important with time.

It's not always easy, but try to focus on the present and enjoy what you've created, and not dwell too much on what you don't have.

I am with Pop and Honey Knows- you can claim many areas as "your areas" and rightfully so, you have lived in/been a "local" of them all. I was a Navy brat growing up, and have lived in almost every coastal state, both eastern and Western, growing up and all before the age of 15, so I identify with many areas and yet never sunk roots in, in any one area except for California (also my birth town, and I did live there until my Mom met my stepdad who was in the Navy when I was 9,) so I identify most strongly with CA but only lived there 9 years- so I know what you mean. Instead of seeing it as a curse, see it as a blessing- you have lot's of "home towns" and even if you didn't get to meet a bunch of friends in each area, you have your memories from places in each area and those are friends too, in a way.

The most important time is the present. The most important friends are the ones you have now. I'm sure you have some childhood memories from Chicago. Then maybe high school was a bit mixed up but I'm sure you managed to have a couple of close friends there anyway. You could also just focus on Connecticut if you want to have an answer for everyone. My best years were in college and I made some lifelong friends there. Just focus on the positives. Maybe you were traveled and not stuck in some small town your whole life. So what. Tell your boyfriend to be nice about it and brag that you had the chance to move around. Nothing wrong with that. Even if you did stay put there's no guarantee you would have liked it or come out with better friends.