So I have been dating the neighbour for about a year now. We are in love and with all confidence I can say that he is head over heels in love with me and I with him. He tells me all the time that we are forever and I would guess we will be engaged before next summer. He has dropped small hints and even brought home the Tiffany Diamond Ring book last time he bought me a gift from there (a gorgeous necklace to match the bracelet and earings he got me from there).
The bummer
The ex girlfriend continues to call him. She hadn't called since last december and when she did call he told her he was seeing somebody else and didn't want to speak with her any more. And I thought he was rid of her. Well about 3 weeks ago on Saturday morning at 3 a.m. she called him crying. I was laying in bed and he told her that she needed to call someone else because he couldn't help her and that they were friends and she needed to call somebody that knew her better! He hung up and she didn't call back. . . Again I thought ok she got the point were rid of her. She called his cell phone this morning at 5 a.m. he answered the phone and she wanted to talk he told her that he had a girlfriend and that I was living with him and that she can't be calling and that he does not want her to call him anymore. I could clearly hear the psycho B$#%@ saying "tell your girlfriend I don't need her reiterating the whole conversation, I know you your not like this I know you" obviously it was 5 a.m. and I was freaking out. Finally I just grabbed the phone and was like "you don't know him, and your not his problem, your not my problem and stop calling him your a psychotic B$#%@" and I hung up the phone.
I think this girl is major low class low income trash and she obviously now knows how good of a thing she lost and is reaching out to get back in.
Do you think I was wrong?? Should I have been so rude? I don't regret it I just feel as though perhaps I stuped to her level and I'm worried she is either going to continue calling or show up at the house. (P.S. It's a work cell phone so changing the number would lead to questions about why he wants to
S***r
meh, i'd do the same!
1Well clearly your boyfriend hasn't been firm enough with her. so I don't think your actions are out of line. Maybe NOW she gets the point. I don't know..something irks me in this situation...she must be really thick and doesn't get the point if she keeps calling him like that. She may be one of THOSE girls he has to stop being friends with, stop anwering the phone, don't return messages for them to get the message. Those you have to ben an *sshole for them to get hte message types?
"We are all the same colour when you turn off the lights"
2She sounds desperate!
3You're judging someone based on how much money she makes? Maybe you're the low and trashy one. You did stoop to her level, and you should be ashamed of yourself.
Cell phones have caller ID. So here's an idea: QUIT ANSWERING THE PHONE WHEN SHE CALLS. It's that simple. If no one picks up, she'll stop calling.
4Yeah, that's true, why does he keep taking her call?
5i kind of agree with Luisa.
and you don't know what goes on when you aren't there. he could be answering her calls and thats why its not so random for her to be calling at 3 or 5 am when she thinks you won't be there. you really never know.
i dont think it was your place to get involved and you really did stoop down to her level. your boyfriend may be talking to her behind your back and you yelled at her. it's not your place to tell her off. if he doesn't want her calling he needs to get a new number...pick up once and tell her not to call anymore then never pick up her number again OR get a restraining order because she's stalking.
6She's obviously drunk dialing him. I'd let it go. Tell him to stop answering the phone when she calls and delete the messages she leaves. Simple. She'll get over it.
7To answer your question, yes you were rude- you had no right to grab the phone from your bf, especially when he was doing such a good job of telling her off already. But what's done is done.
I do think your BF was clear enough, for regular people. Most girls would have been put off by now and stopped calling. Obviously she is different. He should just block her calls.
I don't really agree that he might be taking her calls behind your back, in my opinion no girl would stand a guy being nice to her sometimes and then telling her to stop calling when his gf is around.
Suggest that he block her calls. Maybe he just didn't want to be that extreme. But if it bothers you that much, maybe he will do it. Don't freak out and grab his phone again.
Protect your heart until you find someone who can do it better than you.
8I probably would have eventually done the same thing you did, I see no problem with that. I would wonder like some people have already said though, why do y'all answer the calls at all? Just ignore her and she will go away eventually, unless she really is crazy and then you can just get a restraining order or something. Your bf needs to handle this better though, he shouldn't be answering the phone, the fact that this ex girl keeps calling back makes me wonder if what MissJules said is right, that your bf is talking to her behind your back.
9I agree w/ luisa
10I love how you say she is low income as if not having a lot of money adds to her low class, and then you don't even spell stooped correctly
11that aside yeah she sounds crazy so change your numbers!
12She may have caller ID turned off. Personally I never answer the phone if I don't know the number.
This nutter sounds clingy to the end, she may end up pulling stunts like "I'm pregnant" or "Something awful has happened and you're the only one who can help." If it's gets to this I think maybe a restraining order should do the trick.
You're completely in the right, you have done nothing wrong and I hope she's gotten the point and will you you two alone.
13Autumns is right about having a number show as unavailable. For all phones, cell and home, the code is *67. I don't know what your bf does for a living, but I assume he has to answer any and all calls.
What you did and said, tells the old gf how to get under your skin. I'm sure she knew her calls would bother you. You confirmed how much they bother you and how she might be able to cause trouble, in your relationship. She now knows how to harass you. I bet the calls continue. Grabbing the phone is emasculating to some men. How he treats you tells me he's a nice man. So, he's probably trying to handle this situation in a kind way.
You wrote she was low class, what you did was not classy and borderline psycho. Have your bf take you over to meet her. Then your bf can tell her to stop the calls. She'll also see she can't come between you. I would be cordial, just like you'd be when introduced to a stranger. Upon the introductions, saying, nice to meet you, with a handshake. Take the high road and apologize for what you did. If you choose to do that, I wouldn't explain why. I'd only say, "I'm sorry for yelling into the phone". When you leave, I'd also say, it was nice meeting you. That would be classy.
14If an ex was calling my boyfriend and harrassing us then I would have done the same thing at 5am when she woke us up. I would have reamed her out and each time she called from then on I would answer the phone, say something nasty to her and hang up on her until she stopped calling.
Yea the mature thing would be ignore the calls, dont answer calls at 5am, let him deal with her etc etc but the fun thing and the most entertaining, if not effective, thing to do is ream her out myself.
Dont get jealous, dont go down to her level by insulting her income or intelligence, she is just one of those exs that regrets giving up the good man and you're the one who got him. Have fun for now but if she eventually just gets crazy, stalkerish, abusing etc then start recording the phone calls and call the cops.
Good luck!
"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"
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