I am a 23 year old male, clean, respectable, and decent looking. Everytime I get close to a woman or get into a relationship and they find out that I am still a virgin, the relationship fizzles or they just want to be friends. I know that in todays day in age it is weird for a guy to still be a virgin at this age, but I have always thought that sex is very personal and having sex with someone you truly care about is my standard. Are woman put off this much by a male virgin?
Francesco Biasia
Buti
Odille
just goes to show peoples real intentions with most dating "relationships"...
1I think you're just surrounded by bad ladies. We all start out as virgins, and there's so much pressure and condensation from non-virgins that makes it tough for anyone to go at their own pace. A real lady who loves and appreciates you really shouldn't care either way. I think any smart girl would prefer a male virgin to a guy who's riddled with STDs!
2you're meeting the wrong people. i was a virgin far after i was 23, so stick with your guns. there is a special person out there that will respect your value system and will enjoy your company.
be the change you wish to see in the world.
3i honestly see nothing wrong with that at all. I think I'd actually prefer someone whos a virgin. There's no need for experience. Everyone goes at their own pace. and don't worry when you find that perfect girl she's not going to care for that, she'll be with you for love.
4NO, they're not.
Dude, my ex-fiancee was a 23-yrs-old virgin and I didn't mind! (Maybe partly b/c I was a virgin too)
;)
5You just have to stick to your gun and don't worry about a thing.
If I were still single, I'd not mind deflowering a virgin again
I think its awesome! Find a nice girl, love her and she won't care!
6Ditto to everything everyone said previously. The fact that you've stuck to your standards should mean a lot to a woman. If a woman can't see past the sex, then it might be best to move on. You can be intimate and exposed with someone without having sex. Sharing details of your life, your goals, your fears that you've never told anyone before and them actually listening and understanding you... much more intimate and exposed than rocking the bedposts.
7I get the impression you are surrounded by the wrong women. Losing your virginity is about giving it to someone you love or care very deeply about. I think their problem with you being a virgin is your lack of experience. Women like their men to be experienced and if they're not they assume that he is not good in bed. This is a major mistake people make, so don't take it personal. You don't need women like this around you. Wait for the right girl to come around and believe me once she comes you'll be glad you waited. In my opinion I would never have a problem dating a virgin as I was once one too so I know how it is to worry about your partner finding that out. Also, if he is someone who I love and can make me happy, him being a virgin wouldn't be a turn off, on the contrary it would be a turn on.
8Usually, woman aren't put off by a man being a virgin but they very well could be freaked out of being your "first time". They don't want you to regret it being with them, so it might scare them off. Once you find a woman you really like, talk to her about it and get her feelings on the situation.
9I respect you very much. It is nice to hear a guy say something like this. You will know when it is the right girl or the right time for you. I was with a virgin a few years ago, it was very fun showing him the ropes. You have just met the wrong types of girls so far.
10I think you should be proud you are a virgin! Not every girl wants some guy who has been with a ton of girls. I know I certainly don't. Just think about it - would you want to date a girl who you know has had a ton of sexual partners? I think it is really more of a turn-on than turn-off that you have never had sex! Make sure you save it for the right girl, because if you lose it just to lose it, I think you will regret it! I know lots of girls your age who have not done it yet - I think you just have to find the right girl who will appreciate you for who you are
11I'm in no way put off by the fact that you are a virgin. I actually have to say I respect you a whole lot more for it. So many guys now are all about getting laid as much as possible with as many girls as possible, which I find disgusting. While I don't put the whole sex issue on a pedestal, I am a 21 year old virgin. I have been in relationships before, including a failed engagement and have just never felt trully comfortable or ready to have sex for the first time. Personally I think it's all about meeting the right person (or people) and is something that shouldn't be rushed.
12Wow, all these women that have replied to your post are all totally into dating a virgin? Time to be the Devil's advocate.
I've dated alot... and out of all of those men, there were a few virgins that popped up here and there. In all honesty... it did kind of freak me out. They were either A: SO ready to lose their 'V' status that they pushed me away because I got sick of talking about sex and sick of saying "No, I dont want to have sex with you right away!" or B: He was really insecure about himself which is a real turn-off, saying stuff like "I hope this is okay... I'm sorry I'm not very good etc etc" and that was just for kissing!
For myself, I tried to date a virgin, he was really nice and stuff but honestly, I dont like having to teach someone something like that.. I'd rather him be able to bring something to the table instead of me having to say "Uh huh, now put your hand here... okay good... now do this!" I understand where these women that decided not to be with you are coming from. It's alot of pressure, your 'first' will ALWAYS be your first! There is no replacing, no one refers back to their 'Second' or 'Fifth' time having sex.. it's always your first... makes me nervous just thinking about it.
I suggest that you either find someone completely willing to teach you or you find another virgin so you guys can learn together. Dont worry about the girls like me who back off once they find out you're still a virgin. We're obviously not the one's you're meant to lose it with. It's a very important step in your life... find someone who understands.
Good luck!
"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"
13You're living in a fairy tale my friend. Take it from a guy who lost his virginity at the age of 28. I had your same standards. I did not want a meaningless sexual relationship. The problem with having this standard is that you will most likely find that it will not be shared by your partner. Sure, they will want to have a meaningful relationship, but at the same time they have also done things in the past that they regret. You're one of the few not willing to experiment because you already know you will regret the outcome, most people do not have this insight. The problem that occurs is that you find yourself asking why your partner did not have this insight that you have and you will ultimately find their past to be rather stupid. It's not entirely egotistical to think this way, to people like us it is just common sense.
The final outcome will be that you feel kind of cheated. Because your partner decided to have meaningless sex or sex with people they were obviously not compatible with, the intimacy you feel between each other will be cheapened in your mind. It won't matter if you're the best she's ever had either. The fact that she set her self up to get hurt in the past is what will bother you because she will always feel remorseful about it and she may even take it out on you from time to time. It's an unfair situation.
Men and women are inherently different when it comes to sex. Most women have a strong emotional tie to sex, men do not. What you feel right now is that you think you will have this strong emotional tie to sex once you have it, but the truth of the matter is, you will not. I thought the same way, but once I finally had sex, it's just not a big deal at all. It becomes second nature after the first few times. It feels good and all, and pleasuring her is great, but it really isn't the most important thing in a relationship.
I'm in no way telling you to just go out and have random sex. Women are people too, and their emotional bonds to sex is one of the main reasons I was a virgin for so long. I dislike hurting people in any way, male or female, period. To go out and have "fun" will result in you hurting a lot of people.
My only advice is this. Sex is not a fairy tale love adventure, especially for men. It's just something humans must do, it's part of their mental programming. Don't build up your hope because you will just get knocked down. Hell, I'm on this blog because I'm still trying to figure out my own emotions myself and it's been 6 months since I found out about her past and lost my virginity. It will drive you crazy if you think that fairy tale is real. Just realize it's not before you go through with having sex. That's the mistake I made.
14No way! I actually would prefer dating a virgin. The only problem you might run into is a fear of being intimate once you do start dating someone. Once you find someone special, don't hold back! I personally try not to place importance on a person's past (or lack thereof). Virgin or not, it's the PERSON who matters. I say ditto to all of the other posters who have told you their respect for you. In the end, no matter what anyone says on here or out in the real world only YOU can decide what's right for you.
15I'd take the positive feedback from the women on this site as proof that your confidence in coming right out and speaking the truth is more attractive than anything other fact about you, including your virginity. I don't know what you mean by, "When they find out...", but I take it to mean that it comes out of you in response to a prying question by them and that you say it in a non-confident way.
Try two variations: One, try telling a woman you've just met right up front that you're looking for a woman with whom you'd have enough of a connection to be your first. A second is to wait until the issue comes up and be confident when you say that you haven't yet been lucky enough to meet someone who has what you're looking for. See which gets a better response for you. I'd guess the second, but figure out what's better for you.
All men have something about ourselves that we think is a cause to be concerned, be it virginity, weight, height, age, color, etc. So what? No one is perfect.
Lead with confidence, kindness and humor and women will love you.
16well to me it really does not matter that you are still a virgin a real woman should respect you for that and if they dnt move on. my boyfriend is still a virgin and we've been together for 3 years and i love him just the way he is. so keep your head up
17Go find new places where you can find a real decent woman, a mature one. You're rare and should not rush into anything, especially sex, until you feel comfortable.
18hey there! im 32 years old Female and im still a virgin. Its hard to find a guy like you out there... Way ta go!
19Post A Comment
To post comments, please log in or register.