Dating a Male Virgin

just goes to show peoples real intentions with most dating "relationships"...

I think you're just surrounded by bad ladies. We all start out as virgins, and there's so much pressure and condensation from non-virgins that makes it tough for anyone to go at their own pace. A real lady who loves and appreciates you really shouldn't care either way. I think any smart girl would prefer a male virgin to a guy who's riddled with STDs!

you're meeting the wrong people. i was a virgin far after i was 23, so stick with your guns. there is a special person out there that will respect your value system and will enjoy your company.

be the change you wish to see in the world.

i honestly see nothing wrong with that at all. I think I'd actually prefer someone whos a virgin. There's no need for experience. Everyone goes at their own pace. and don't worry when you find that perfect girl she's not going to care for that, she'll be with you for love.

NO, they're not.

Dude, my ex-fiancee was a 23-yrs-old virgin and I didn't mind! (Maybe partly b/c I was a virgin too)
You just have to stick to your gun and don't worry about a thing.
If I were still single, I'd not mind deflowering a virgin again ;)

I think its awesome! Find a nice girl, love her and she won't care!

Ditto to everything everyone said previously. The fact that you've stuck to your standards should mean a lot to a woman. If a woman can't see past the sex, then it might be best to move on. You can be intimate and exposed with someone without having sex. Sharing details of your life, your goals, your fears that you've never told anyone before and them actually listening and understanding you... much more intimate and exposed than rocking the bedposts.

I get the impression you are surrounded by the wrong women. Losing your virginity is about giving it to someone you love or care very deeply about. I think their problem with you being a virgin is your lack of experience. Women like their men to be experienced and if they're not they assume that he is not good in bed. This is a major mistake people make, so don't take it personal. You don't need women like this around you. Wait for the right girl to come around and believe me once she comes you'll be glad you waited. In my opinion I would never have a problem dating a virgin as I was once one too so I know how it is to worry about your partner finding that out. Also, if he is someone who I love and can make me happy, him being a virgin wouldn't be a turn off, on the contrary it would be a turn on.

Usually, woman aren't put off by a man being a virgin but they very well could be freaked out of being your "first time". They don't want you to regret it being with them, so it might scare them off. Once you find a woman you really like, talk to her about it and get her feelings on the situation.

I respect you very much. It is nice to hear a guy say something like this. You will know when it is the right girl or the right time for you. I was with a virgin a few years ago, it was very fun showing him the ropes. You have just met the wrong types of girls so far.

I think you should be proud you are a virgin! Not every girl wants some guy who has been with a ton of girls. I know I certainly don't. Just think about it - would you want to date a girl who you know has had a ton of sexual partners? I think it is really more of a turn-on than turn-off that you have never had sex! Make sure you save it for the right girl, because if you lose it just to lose it, I think you will regret it! I know lots of girls your age who have not done it yet - I think you just have to find the right girl who will appreciate you for who you are

I'm in no way put off by the fact that you are a virgin. I actually have to say I respect you a whole lot more for it. So many guys now are all about getting laid as much as possible with as many girls as possible, which I find disgusting. While I don't put the whole sex issue on a pedestal, I am a 21 year old virgin. I have been in relationships before, including a failed engagement and have just never felt trully comfortable or ready to have sex for the first time. Personally I think it's all about meeting the right person (or people) and is something that shouldn't be rushed.

Wow, all these women that have replied to your post are all totally into dating a virgin? Time to be the Devil's advocate.

I've dated alot... and out of all of those men, there were a few virgins that popped up here and there. In all honesty... it did kind of freak me out. They were either A: SO ready to lose their 'V' status that they pushed me away because I got sick of talking about sex and sick of saying "No, I dont want to have sex with you right away!" or B: He was really insecure about himself which is a real turn-off, saying stuff like "I hope this is okay... I'm sorry I'm not very good etc etc" and that was just for kissing!

For myself, I tried to date a virgin, he was really nice and stuff but honestly, I dont like having to teach someone something like that.. I'd rather him be able to bring something to the table instead of me having to say "Uh huh, now put your hand here... okay good... now do this!" I understand where these women that decided not to be with you are coming from. It's alot of pressure, your 'first' will ALWAYS be your first! There is no replacing, no one refers back to their 'Second' or 'Fifth' time having sex.. it's always your first... makes me nervous just thinking about it.

I suggest that you either find someone completely willing to teach you or you find another virgin so you guys can learn together. Dont worry about the girls like me who back off once they find out you're still a virgin. We're obviously not the one's you're meant to lose it with. It's a very important step in your life... find someone who understands.

Good luck!

"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"

You're living in a fairy tale my friend. Take it from a guy who lost his virginity at the age of 28. I had your same standards. I did not want a meaningless sexual relationship. The problem with having this standard is that you will most likely find that it will not be shared by your partner. Sure, they will want to have a meaningful relationship, but at the same time they have also done things in the past that they regret. You're one of the few not willing to experiment because you already know you will regret the outcome, most people do not have this insight. The problem that occurs is that you find yourself asking why your partner did not have this insight that you have and you will ultimately find their past to be rather stupid. It's not entirely egotistical to think this way, to people like us it is just common sense.

The final outcome will be that you feel kind of cheated. Because your partner decided to have meaningless sex or sex with people they were obviously not compatible with, the intimacy you feel between each other will be cheapened in your mind. It won't matter if you're the best she's ever had either. The fact that she set her self up to get hurt in the past is what will bother you because she will always feel remorseful about it and she may even take it out on you from time to time. It's an unfair situation.

Men and women are inherently different when it comes to sex. Most women have a strong emotional tie to sex, men do not. What you feel right now is that you think you will have this strong emotional tie to sex once you have it, but the truth of the matter is, you will not. I thought the same way, but once I finally had sex, it's just not a big deal at all. It becomes second nature after the first few times. It feels good and all, and pleasuring her is great, but it really isn't the most important thing in a relationship.

I'm in no way telling you to just go out and have random sex. Women are people too, and their emotional bonds to sex is one of the main reasons I was a virgin for so long. I dislike hurting people in any way, male or female, period. To go out and have "fun" will result in you hurting a lot of people.

My only advice is this. Sex is not a fairy tale love adventure, especially for men. It's just something humans must do, it's part of their mental programming. Don't build up your hope because you will just get knocked down. Hell, I'm on this blog because I'm still trying to figure out my own emotions myself and it's been 6 months since I found out about her past and lost my virginity. It will drive you crazy if you think that fairy tale is real. Just realize it's not before you go through with having sex. That's the mistake I made.

No way! I actually would prefer dating a virgin. The only problem you might run into is a fear of being intimate once you do start dating someone. Once you find someone special, don't hold back! I personally try not to place importance on a person's past (or lack thereof). Virgin or not, it's the PERSON who matters. I say ditto to all of the other posters who have told you their respect for you. In the end, no matter what anyone says on here or out in the real world only YOU can decide what's right for you.

I'd take the positive feedback from the women on this site as proof that your confidence in coming right out and speaking the truth is more attractive than anything other fact about you, including your virginity. I don't know what you mean by, "When they find out...", but I take it to mean that it comes out of you in response to a prying question by them and that you say it in a non-confident way.

Try two variations: One, try telling a woman you've just met right up front that you're looking for a woman with whom you'd have enough of a connection to be your first. A second is to wait until the issue comes up and be confident when you say that you haven't yet been lucky enough to meet someone who has what you're looking for. See which gets a better response for you. I'd guess the second, but figure out what's better for you.

All men have something about ourselves that we think is a cause to be concerned, be it virginity, weight, height, age, color, etc. So what? No one is perfect.

Lead with confidence, kindness and humor and women will love you.

well to me it really does not matter that you are still a virgin a real woman should respect you for that and if they dnt move on. my boyfriend is still a virgin and we've been together for 3 years and i love him just the way he is. so keep your head up

Go find new places where you can find a real decent woman, a mature one. You're rare and should not rush into anything, especially sex, until you feel comfortable.

hey there! im 32 years old Female and im still a virgin. Its hard to find a guy like you out there... Way ta go!

hi.

I was searching for answers because my boyfriend is also 23 and a virgin, seemngly not ready for sex, or hasn't gained that level of trust, or whatever. Maybe you can give me some insight into the male mind in that regard. I have been dating my man for nearly 6 months, and I am the first girl he's ever felt this way about. He's never dated a girl this long before. I am patient with him, nurturing and understanding. I love him very much and I am willing to wait until he is ready, albiet very hard for me seeing how I love him and want to express it more then anything. I have a hard time convincing myself that its not me, even though sometimes i feel that it is. He says its not and that he's just seen other relationships go sour after sex. But thats not us... these were people who had JUST started dating and were clearly in it for lust.

as far as your question, the others here are correct. I am living proof that there ARE women out there who are patient and loving. If a woman truly cares about you, then she will stand by your side and be everything you need her to be while you make that physical/mental/emotional transition into a new state of existence. And FYI-- you shouldn't settle for a woman who is anything less.

I appreciate JMiller79 honest and frank advice. Most men really do just want to "get it over with". Its painful to be a late male Virgin when it seems like all your friends are not. That being said, I respect the orignial poster for taking a stand on Virginity. There are few men who willingly admit virginity. And few who make it a known thing in the dating life.
I would suspect that most of the women who talk about how sweet his virginity is -- have probably done something in their past they are not proud of. Its going to be really hard when he finally finds "the one" to not be effected mentally forever about "her past."
Lots of respect to the man for holding strong. But I think he really is going to need to find a virgin female for this to have a happy ending.
I lost my virginity at 21. As a guy, I was desperate to "lose it". She was a very nice girl -- about a year older than me, and I knew she had a sort of wild past. She slept with a friend of mine (one night stand-like) and her sorority girl friends loved sharing wild stories about each other -- this girl had a lot of escapades!
Well, of course when I lost it to her I tried to hide it. I thought I was so lucky to get it over with. This was great. I had a fun girl to have sex with all summer. But why break it off? We really liked each other. It turned out we were great together. Turned out we fell in love. Turned out I was the best sexual partner she ever had (taught her a lot actually -- learned a lot in bed together). After about 6 months I told her the truth--she was my first. I remember she said, "Oh how sweet, you chose me." Just like the women on these posts think. Its not like that at all ladies for most men. Sorry.
And then also all her wild stories came out. Some I knew already of course because her friends seemed to always bring them up and brag/tease/joke, even in company.
Things moved quickly with the relationship. Moved in together when I was 22. We got engaged, and married when I was 24.
That's right, I just "wanted to get it over with" someone and we ended up married. Its been 15 years and I am still not mentally complete with all of this.
We are so good together. She is really perfect for me and an amazing woman. I love our life. I love our children. But my psyche is forever fragile for being the late virgin while she has a wild past. I can't watch TV because there are jokes about virgins on every show. I hate seeing her college friends because they are still rude and crude... "remember that time at that kegger when you acted like a slut...etc" Really?!? Would that be acceptable if it were a man and his frat buddies joking around in front of his wife?

To anonomous who wrote this post (I see almost 2 years ago) so also to any other man struggling with the virgin question... just be prepared as neither JMiller79 or I was not. Your psyche is fragile. This means more to men than women. Be prepared. Its going to be emotional. If you can imagine finally finding the one -- and imagine not being bothered by her past. Good for you. Otherwise, you will probably be better off getting some experience. Do nothing you can't be proud of. Be clean, decent, honest, safe.
But most of all, be honest about what sex will mean to you mentally for the rest of your life.

That's scary... I was searching about that subject, because these past weeks, I've been wondering a lot about that. I know it's an old question, but I hope the guy who wrote it is doing well and is happy.

I'm a virgin too, and I'm 24 years old. I don't know if I'm ever going to lose that virginity. But these times, I really wonder if I should just go for it. Because... It's not that I'm in urge of having sex. I want it. But my balls won't explode if I don't get some. I'm just really curious. I know that what I need the most is affection. I don't think of sex all the time, but the past days, I've been thinking all the time about just holding a girl in my arms. I know what I need is simply love and tenderness. But I doubt I can ever find it.

I can tell you why, cause maybe it'll make you guys feel better. Or maybe it'll help others to understand some things that they should avoid.

Since the beginning of my teen, I've been maltreated in several ways. By the age of 12, all my contacts to the external world have been cut-off, and I found myself completely alone, with nobody to talk to. And everyday, I was getting beaten, and I had to fight all the time. I had to keep going, because it was part of my training. I was forbidden to feel pain, fear, or tiredness. Of course I was terrified. But I kept going because I didn't want to be weak. It's why I stopped talking to my family, or to people at school. I didn't want them to know what was happening, because I didn't want to beg to be removed from that situation. I thought doing so would have been weak, and that there was no biggest shame than being weak (and I was weak). Later, I stopped feeling emotions, I was all numb. Anything could happen to me, I wouldn't have cared, even if the entire world would collapse. With time, I forgot how to socialize. I was always a very professional attitude. Like a seller. Because I was representing those who trained me. I had to act all the time, and I was constantly faking emotions, to avoid the dishonor of losing face, for me and those who trained me. It lasted a longtime. I quitted the place where I was at the age of 19 years old, to go in a paramilitary school, to earn a degree. Before that, I tried to meet "normal people", but I couldn't stay with them. We just had absolutely nothing in common. They were so... shallow, while I was like a robot. I couldn't understand that most other people my age didn't want anything in particular, but to have fun. I couldn't understand why they weren't committing themselves to achieve perfection in something. That they were so weak, so soft. Of course, I was way too rigid. And every time I was seeing something I would interpreter as a weakness, I would put my finger in it up to my hand, and turn. But I was trained to hate weaknesses. I was told since I was a kid that people who weren't training like me were worthless, and that when I'd stop training, I'd become weak and worthless too.

But by the same time, when I was in the paramilitary school, I understood I wasn't normal at all. I thought that by going there, I would meet other strong people. But you know what? They were scared. I was scandalized when I saw guys from my team step back in front of a challenge I would go head first in, and achieve. I was scandalized when I was hearing any of them complaining about something, because I have been forbidden to complain during so many years, and because I always thought complaining was a sign of weakness. I was scandalized to see they could let themselves be impressed by injuries, or by people dying, because when I was training, I saw so many injuries, and so many people getting close to kill themselves, while as a only result, trainers would just shout more on them, and force them to keep going. In fact, I wasn't scandalize: it was making me angry, because I couldn't stand the idea that people would be such wimps in a paramilitary school.

Things turned on to be as usual: others thought I was a psychopath, like every others before. Then, I noticed something else: I had very numb feelings. I was feeling sad and angry, of course. But besides that... I was completely indifferent. Then, I finally thought that something has gone wrong with me. That I should feel something, even if in my own mind, I was dead. I seriously thought I was dead. This year, I did some crazy things, too, and I wanted to leave the school. Because I had the best results to the physical and mental tests, and to the interview, they really wanted to keep me, and to convince me, they asked me to go see their psychologist. I didn't have any reason to refuse. But it ended up being interesting. She helped me to see that I had problems, and that I had lots of traumas to overcome. And interestingly enough, she explained to me that those thoughts I had, those things I was seeing fairly often, were flashbacks. The worst is that I didn't tell her everything. I didn't want to complain. I think I should've. But I remember something she told me. She said I should find a nice girlfriend, a girl who loves me, because I would still see lots of traumatizing things, due to the nature of my work, and that living in a nice environment, with people I love, would help me to support it. She was insisting on the fact that if I was getting close to die, having people that I love could keep me alive. And she said that I would have to be careful, thought, to choose a very aware girlfriend, and intelligent person, who would want to use me. Because, of course, I perfectly knew that in the past, I've been used a lot. That I wasn't trained to be strong for myself, but broken to be a sacrifice for someone else's goals.

I think I should have tell her the whole thing. Because I wasn't ready to find a girlfriend, of course. I was still there, hating weaknesses! I even wrote a letter to my trainers, to remind them to keep beating the kids, to make sure they were fully committed! How can you be ready to have girlfriend, if you despise so much weaknesses, and if you feel like you want to get even? Like, not get even consciously, but had a permanent feeling of anger deep inside? How can you find a girlfriend, if the only way you can be "kind" to people is by being "professional"? If, at the end, you hate yourself... If that during years, you wouldn't let anyone get physically close to you, or touch you, because the only times in the past you've been close to someone, it was in a violent way? That you even pushed back your parents, and headed your mom in the nose in a "reflex" against proximity?

Well, at least, I knew something was wrong, and the first thing I did was to try to get back my emotions. I tried to do stuff I enjoyed, eat stuff I enjoyed, to appreciate something and to invite my feelings to come back. To tell myself there was no more danger. I did that slowly, and it worked. I managed to avoid violent situations, or being really harsh on myself. Until I worked with the military. But still, I made good progresses. By the age of 21, I started to feel more normal. I missed having friends, like when I was a kid. I needed to find friends. It took me around a year, to find friends who fitted me. They're still my friends, and I love them. I am so grateful to them. Especially that with emotions coming back, I was more vulnerable. You know, it's like having deep injuries, and stopping your blood from flowing to prevent an haemorrhage. You need to have your blood flowing to live. But if it's flowing, you risk to lose it all. It almost happened. I was feeling more and more sad, and couldn't find people who'd understand me, and which who I'd like to be. It became more and more painful, and the week I met my friends, I was thinking about suicide. The day when I met them, I was wondering if I should kill myself, because I was maybe too fucked-up to be recuperable, and because I knew that if it was the case, I would either have to live with no emotions, or to suffer until I die. I couldn't consciously accept to go back to having no emotions. So, I was thinking that since I would just suffer until I die, and I had no place in the world, I'd probably be better off just to die now.

And I got lucky. I met my friends. At first, I was getting really tensed when they were getting physically close to me, and they noticed it. But, as a proof that they were great people, they understood, and accepted me. They didn't say anything like I was a psychopath. Sometimes, they said I was weird and very harsh, because I was still insulting them when they were being "weak". But with time, I stopped doing that. I even started training kids last year. I always liked kids. Before, I didn't want to, because I thought I would beat them when they would be weak. And you know what? I didn't even accuse a single one of being weak! And I kept smiling all the time! And it wasn't a forced smile, I was smiling because I was happy to help those kids get stronger without being abusive. Damn, as I'm writing this, I'm crying...I hope my friends won't see me, cause it's embarrassing. I still don't want to look weak...

But well, now I feel ready to find a girlfriend, because I feel I can love again. I really feel it, these days I'm emotional, and I crave for hugs and affection, despite I don't show it. Also, my rage is fading a lot. It's releasing, but in the same time, I ask myself what I'm going to do, now I don't really want to get even anymore. Because I quitted my country, last year. I arrived somewhere else, more than 6 thousands of kilometers away, with no money. I've been homeless, and found my way out. I needed to go far to find something else. At first, I was still leaving because I needed to get rid of some of my demons. Now, I want to leave again, to go to places where I could help people. But before that, I'd really like to know what sex is like, and I find myself facing that same dilemma other guys faced before: I know what I really need is love. But sex is easier to find, and I don't think it's that important either. I'm just curious. On the other hand, I wonder if I can have sex if I don't really love the person. Cause I just want to see a bit how it is, to feel more confident. And also, in the environment of the job that I'm doing now (besides training kids), I'm really exposed to it. I do perform some strength feats in places where there's parties, shirtless. The goal is openly to get women excited, and to impress other guys with my strength, to give them cool memories from the party. It is a weird thought to me that I can be attractive, too. I didn't believe it, when I was homeless, and doing strength feats on the street to buy food, when a beautiful girl came at me, and said I look good. Before that, at training, I was repeatedly told I was ugly, and couldn't do anything else than train. And even now, it's really weird to me, when I perform, and girls comes to touch me, or want to kiss me. Like, I'm exposed to every man's dream, but in the same time, I can't handle it, because I never had sex before and would like to have it with someone I trust first... Makes me feel sad, because I feel like I'm waisting some good time of my youth, that for once I could just enjoy life, but that I still can't.

In an other hand, like GoWest and JMiller79 said, I feel awkward, because I have the impression that because nobody cared and everybody made stupid choices, I have to make stupid choices as well because people keep making stupid choices between each other. Or that because some girls made stupid choices, they're scared of making more, and aren't dating or anything anymore. And it's sad, cause many of these girls haves the same thoughts I have about that matter, but since they don't want to make the same mistakes (the mistakes I want to avoid too), they're not interested into relationships of any kind except friendship. So, it gives me the impression that the only people left are those who still commits stupid mistakes, without getting a lesson from it... And it doesn't help me taking a decision at all, since to me, simple trying with no expectations isn't necessarily a mistake either... But I think I'll follow the guy's advices, and find a nice girl willing to try it with me. Like said previously too, I don't want to hurt her feelings, too. Would just help to make me comfortable for when I find a girl I love... Thanks again to all of those who posted before. And I know that was a looooong message. Hope it can hope people. And please, if you notice someone around you stop talking, there might be a problem. Don't distance yourselves from that person, and invite him/her regularly to open him/herself. Don't insist. But always leave the door open. And if something similar to what happened to me happen to you... Please, take care of yourself. Please. Think about all the consequences it can have later. Evaluate if it really worth it. And if you need help, please forget about your pride, and go get help. You can even ask advices anonymously. But don't let yourself be destroyed. Take care of your integrity. Otherwise, you might end up like me, or worst.

I just wanted to subscribe...

I would actually prefer to date a guy who is a virgin! honestly, I'm looking for one in my area...

I think guys that are virgins in their 20s have respect for themselves, and the woman in their lives. The girls your meeting seem like the ones that woman complain about in a guy.Does that make sence? I would much rather preffer someone who is a virgin. You have to look for women that have the same values as you. I dont see why a girl wouldnt want to be with a virgin guy. I mean no pressure to the girl right? Dont give that gift to any girl. Dont change your values just because someone dosent want to be with you because your a virgin. One of the girls you meet one day is goign to appreciate that your still a virgin. Trust me.

A 23 year old Male Virgin? Trust me hun, you are not on the undesirable list for a decent respectable woman. I would have loved to have lost my virginity to a man that was also a virgin, it means you have no baggage and i wouldn't be insecure about being inexperienced. But nope, I was number 8 to him

Although I do personally feel that virginity is something to take pride in, I also believe it's something personal. If you see a woman is only coming to you for sex, then you need to back off. Get to know a woman, and don't bring sex into the picture. That topic shouldn't come up for awhilleee if the relationship goes smoothly and it's the right girl.

IMHO, I'd prefer to date a 23 years old virgin dude. But if you're 30 and up, I would start to questioning myself. It's no big deal, seriously. It just show that you have class, self-respect and you're not going to have any sexual relationship until you have found that special someone to share it with you. Those girls that you've hitting on are very dumb. Virginity is something to take pride in. Personally, I think those who have lost their virginity under 20s doesn't have any value. Don't look what people around you or this society does.

Oh dang... I just notice this was posted in 2008 which means this guy is 25 now.

Hello. I'm 27 years old (going 28 this April 25) and still a virgin. Actually, believe it or not, I'm never been kissed and never been in a relationship. I'm a straight man by the way and I only had 3 dates in my life. Nothing went serious with those 3 (even knowing them deeper).

It goes back when I lost connection with my first love when I transferred to another highschool and when I was rejected by a girl in my senior year in highschool (11 years ago). That's the time when I start hating my own Filipinohood. Since the rejection, I became more pessimistic about the mentality of my fellow citizens. And for that, I have a very high standard with girls. That's: if it's a Filipina, she should never had a boyfriend in her life. If it's from other race (that suits my standard), at least only in 1 relationship. She should be intelligent or we should at least be in the same level of mentality. Also, I decided to marry a Japanese girl, almost 11 years ago also. And up until now, I'm not able to go to Japan and find a Japanese girl because I'm not yet finish with my studies (only chat with a few on social networking sites) .

I don't know, maybe because I'm always such a loner, a homebody person, discriminated because of my surname, sometimes shy especially when an unknown girl is too pretty, cute and hot. But I do know a thing or 2 about attraction (Something I read from a purchased online book which I already applied to some hot girls. Try to clear: only reached the attraction part, never went in a relationship status). Even though I bought that book, it never gives me the will to continue pursuing a Filipina. For me generally, they are boring. I don't know, maybe it's just, I don't find any girl here who is deserving.

Hey, since I posted my last message, some events happened. I want to tell other guys not to desperate. I got lucky, and I met a girl I really like. Was almost impossible to find such a girl, it's actually the first time I meet someone like her, she's awesome.

And strangely, just before meeting her, I wanted to get rid of my fear of being close to people, and I accepted to make love with a girl, just like that. Was pleasant. I don't regret it, because virginity in itself doesn't mean much to me, I think it's mostly in the head. It helped me a lot getting a calmer mind, and helped me to get rid of the fear of letting someone being close to me. At first I was scared, and I had violent flashbacks, but I went trought it, and it was perfectly fine.

To be honest, I did it for facing my fears, and for satisfying my curiosity. Before doing it, I didn't even tell her I was a virgin, I only told her after, and she seemed truly surprised. I didn't want to tell her before, because I didn't want her to have any special consideration to me. It simply went naturally.

We both agreed that it was just for fun and it had no particular signification before doing it, and that we'd get no attachments. During the following two weeks, she called me a couple of times, but I didn't want to do it again, and I wanted to go back to focus on my training and my own goals. I didn't need it to be ongoing nor to risk developing a relationship with someone I wasn't interested to, and the person I really like is the person I met just after anyways.

I don't intend to do it again with anyone else but her, and trying it once before just helped me to clarify my mind. It confirmed that the most important isn't sex but love, or at least, you need the two of them, otherwise it's not really that special. I think I did a good thing, and it had only positive results as far as I look into it. I didn't lose my soul, I didn't become a pervert, I got rid of some problems and I now feel more peaceful.

So if you think doing something like that might help you, guys, I think you should do it. It's not necessarily a question of principles, purity or self-respect, it can also be a question of well-being. I have principles I hold tight onto as well, but I don't think sex is really important, nor that guys really have a virginity. After all, for guys, virginity is just mental. If you ever imagined having sex in a realistic way, then you're almost not a virgin, cause it's almost the same. Seriously, when I did it it was pretty much like I imagined it would be, and I didn't have any surprise. In our society, where informations about sex are easily accessible, for guys who have good visualization, the only thing have sex for the first time bring can be a confirmation. That's all.

I think what is important is simply what you choose to do after having that confirmation. Some guys tries to have sex with as many girls as they can. Some focus to find a girl they really like, some stay with the girl they're with because they were already with someone they liked. Some just stop caring, and let things go. I've met all those types of guys, and they simply do what they want, there's nothing bad there, and girls should just go for the type of guy they think they'll be the best with. Now I know that I'm the type of guy that, after having his "confirmation", decided that sex wasn't that important, decided to stop caring about it, and who eventually will be with a girl he love, and in that case, yes, it'll be special.

Guys shouldn't care too much about if girls likes virgins or not. Just do what you think will be the best for your well-being, and don't bother with girls who don't like who for who you are.

So am I. Write me

Hello,

Well this is an OLD post, but I am a woman and NO we are not put off. I am in this situation. LOVE OF MY LIFE turned out to be...well...yes, he waited for me. My first thought? This was it: "SHIT I didn't wait for him. I SUCK!" It was more eloquent in my mind, but you get the idea. It's a lot of pressure to be someone's first, and it takes A LOT of maturity to handle being with someone who VALUES sex THAT MUCH, especially if you had kinda just toyed with it like a past time or something. You are in a tough position, and there is no easy answer. This world doesn't cater to anyone with morals anymore. Sorry to say, but this is just the truth.

I'm also looking for a relationship with a male virgin but so hard to find as most hide it. I'd LOVE to be his first and would adore him

I am currently dating a man who is in his early 50's and still a virgin. I've been seeing him for almost 2 months now. Yes, it is very frustrating that we're not having sex, however, it is also rewarding that our relationship is not just based on sex.

I am a virgin too. Write me

AuburnLady is right.

Men hide it because it is generally perceived as shameful, despite what anyone says "should be" right or wrong or whatever. It is what it is, and even the existence of this discussion reveals the reality of it. Ugh... (that's my way of saying I don't like it but it is social reality in general)

Primary thing, once you lose your v, don't let your sexual history get you down. Being optimistic about the next 40 years is better than bumming about some perceived v thing. Hell, a lot of virgins have a better opposite-sex dating history than many non-virgins.

Keep your head up.