I have a boyfriend in the military with whom I am very much in love. We've been together for two years, and he's been away pretty much the entire time, but we are fortunate enough to be able to talk to each other every night. Our talks are endless, we barely fight, we're still sexually attracted to each other, and the list goes on. It's wonderful.
Well, recently, I noticed a male friend of mine was getting friendlier with me than usual. He would lean in very close when we talked, share a chair with me when we hung out with other friends (even when there were plenty of open chairs), and so on. I think it might have been because he broke up (again) with his on and off girlfriend of three years, and he just missed the physical attention.
At first, I was very uncomfortable with this, and for many reasons. I had a boyfriend, he recently broke up with his girlfriend, etc. I didn't like him in that way, but I slowly grew more attracted to him as this went on. Don't get me wrong, not once did I ever have any intentions of cheating on my boyfriend, nor do I have any now. However, I still feel guilty about having even the slightest attraction to this guy friend of mine... I know it's natural to be attracted to other people, but what do I do? Why do I feel like this? Could it be because I also miss the attention and I feel like my friend and I are on the same level?
Alexander McQueen
Honestly, I think it is the attention you are needing. You miss having your boyfriend to sit next to, talk to in person, basically everything that this guy is doing to you.
You need to tell this friend to basically back off. You have a boyfriend and this type of 'flirting' needs to end, pronto.
1It's hard when your boyfriend isn't around. There is really no good substitute for physical proximity.
Don't beat yourself up about this, but don't act on it either. I would try to distance yourself as much as possible from him so you aren't tempted.
2I think its pretty normal to miss attention...we are women. We like being told we are smart, intelligent, sexy, etc. I think its okay to be excited about attention. I think I would think about the consequences of your actions before moving forward. Are you committed to your boyfriend or uncertain? Does your relationship need definition? Answer these questions before doing anything.
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