Well I just Very Very recently turned 20... and I've noticed my cousin (by marriage) has been staring at me. The other day when I'd come home from a party I was dressed nice and my friend loet me borrow a low cut shirt - I don't usually wear them I feel uncomfortable wearing them, but I figured wth it's a party anyway - I hadn't really noticed he was staring at the time because my cousin and I were in a heated discussion about family problems. But later that night my mom told me he was staring at my chest for quite a long time, she said it wasn't just a normal stare. She told me he just didn't look like a normal guy staring at breasts, he looked like he had perverse thoughts running through his mind. She's also told me that she has noticed him stare at me for some time now, years not months. And I feel..... Bad in a way because I was wearing such an appealing shirt and maybe I can't fully blame him... but knowing that he has been looking at me like this for years makes me feel uncomfortable. And I know I should cover up whenever he is around but the thing is they almost always come over unannounced and it is hard. I mean yeah men look at women it is a natural thing but... I don't think he should look at me in such a way, Especially when his wife MY cousin is sitting Right next to him! And the thing I really DON'T get is WHY he looks at me that way! I mean my cousin is pretty and thin and she has a pretty OK body she kind of looks like Sarah Jessica Parker. I mean I have a nice hourglass figure but I AM chunky my mom says I kind of look like Selma Hayek but she is my mom and all mom's say their daughter's are beautiful. Anyway I'm just so confused on what to do or if I Should do anything and I feel really bad for my cousin because this guy left her once before for another woman (and I over heard him say once to a friend that the only reason he came back to her was because he couldn't get anything better) :/ And I feel bad because they have a kid together and she thinks she is pregnant again so I feel so bad. And it makes me wonder... does he stare at my other cousin's in such a way?! Because if he does That is Completely and utterly wrong and makes me rethink things 
just how perverse is he? I mean if he does look at my other cousin's in that manner he is just a pervert and sick. Because yeah guys looking at girls is normal... But looking at your cousin's (I don't care if it is through marriage) like a horny dog is just Unacceptable! :/
Confused on what to do about my cousin's husband...
4 Comments Post a Comment
Top Brands
S***r
Hmm ok I read your other post. I think if this issue is bothering you enough to post about it twice, then it would be good to have a private conversation about it with him. Tell him that you and your mother have noticed him staring at your chest for prolonged periods of time and you find it inappropriate and it makes you very uncomfortable. This is about setting boundaries related to your body and your comfort. I really think that talking to him about this is the right thing to do, because it will teach you to how to have adult conversations with men about boundaries and respect. Believe me, this is something you will have to do more than once in your life!
Most men will look at a woman's chest, but staring for prolonged periods of time is just totally creepy and I can understand why it makes you uncomfortable. I am sure that this guy has no idea how inappropriate and creepy that he is being, that he has done this to many other women, and that he needs a lesson in manners. Good luck and don't be afraid of him he is the one that should and will be embarassed about this, not you. Be strong and good luck.
:)
:)
1Well, my first suggestion would be to find a creative writing class at your local community college - you didn't change nearly enough details to disguise this as the second post you've created about the same topic.
So....just how pissed off at your cousin are you? Not your cousin's husband - your cousin. You were having a "heated discussion" about "family problems" with your cousin, and now you're just ITCHING to let her know that her husband can't take his eyes off you, huh? I don't want to say you're transparent, but I've got windows I can't see through quite as clearly.
I don't believe this guy's a pervert. I don't think this is about anything but you getting even with your cousin - and to that I say shame on you. But I tell you what....why don't you prove me wrong? You really think this guy is such a demented pervert - why don't you turn the matter over to your father? Let dad have a "man to man" with your cousin's husband - trust me, your father will know how to handle it. Then you and your mother can stop worrying about how perverse this guy is and you can put your rack away.
2This is the modification of the other boobs post!
I agree with honey. If this made you oh-so-uncomfortable, get your father to talk with him. No need for you to go marching to your cousin or to her husband and start accusing him of staring at your chest.
Well, if you don't want them in your life anymore, go ahead and do that. Chances are, he'll deny it, and she'll be so angry at you to the point that she'll get mad at your mom too, etc etc. Oh the drama, maybe you'll like that. Or not, whatever you want.
Seriously. Your boobs aren't that special for this guy. If he stares at boobs, then most likely, wait, like 100% sure, he's staring at boobs that happened to be bigger.
Some guys are like that.
And guys stare at every type of boobs, not only just bigger boobs or nicer boobs, they'll also stare at boobs that look so 'out-of-whacked' (weird/freaky looking ones), just because they can. Read Freud, you may find some explanation on that.
And, if your mom happened to wear low cut blouses (or forget that, try form-fitting top) and have good-sized rather firm boobs, you know what, chances are, your cousin's husband may have been eyeing them too! Yes, your mom is concerned, I understand yada yada yada. Both of you (mom and you) go talk to your father and ask him to talk to him in private (outside your cousin's ears, since you seem to be 'sorry' for her).
3You are lucky that you have such a vigilant mother. I personally am not a victim of rape, but i know those who are,often say that 1)the predator is someone they know personally and 2) The act was carried out secretly without anyone knowing.Not that you are at risk but some aspects of your story are disturbing. So be greatful to your mother for being so great at being your parent.
On another note, I guage from your post that you seem kind of young?(like teenage years?) The reason I bring this is up is because you seem kind of flattered that he has been obssessed with your chest/you for years.( which to me indicates you are of adolescent age and may have not been exposed to love/ attention from the opposite sex)I just want to say please don't take his actions as positive in anyway. They are not. They are a betrayal of your cousin's and family's trust and also predatory because he is probably significantly older than you. And any action you may romantisize in your mind about you and him are not real, they are a just a figment of your young,naive and hormone crazy body. You are better off looking for a fun,cute, young boy your own age. Trust me, older guys are boring with lots of bills to pay and work. Look for someone young and carefree like yourself and enjoy those years while you can
4Post A Comment
To post comments, please log in or register.