Make yourself less available. He'll either come around or he won't.

I had a similar problem with my boyfriend showing up to my house around 10pm during the week and expecting food AND sex. I complained a couple of times but he claimed to have had "so much stuff to do" that it was impossible to get there on time. So finally I told him that if he wanted to see me, he was going to have to come over before 7pm... I get up to work out at 5am and obviously the late nights weren't working for me. So I refused to see him after 7. He tried to show up the next time around 9pm and I very sweetly told him that I just couldn't see him at such a late hour and that I'd wait to see him until he had enough time to spend with me. He made time after that, because I was serious enough to turn him away. So my advice is to not be available at 3am, and to be busy enough that it's disruptive to your day to see him for only an hour or two at a time.

He's just not that into you. You're a nice time-filler who has sex with him, but that's it.

Stop seeing him last-minute and stop allowing him to come over late/drunk/etc. Make him respect you and if he cares, he'll straighten up. But I wouldn't hold my breath.

You know, i am not into "games" and don't really like to pretend to be something I am not. But, whenever I have felt this way about a guy, that I am waiting around for him or that he isn't putting me first, I usually try to take my focus off of him. I start accepting friend invitations, even if I know we might hang out (but he hasn't asked me) and putting MY interests firsts. It is amazing how fast guys change their priorities.

If you figure out that he doesn't want to spend as much time with you as you do with him, then you have to decide if he is the right person for you to date. Because, I don't always buy that "he's just not into you" stuff - people have different needs for the amount of time they spend with their significant other.

I would say that my current boyfriend and I are a little mis-matched that way. He loves being outside and climbing mountains. While we do share some interests, I don't have the desire to give up all my free time to do the same things he wants to - I have my own list of things I like. But, I LOVE how happy it makes him. So, sometimes I have to remind myself that the time he spends doing the things he loves gives me time to do the things I love, although I do miss him when he is gone.

Be less available. He's taking you for granted. Nobody should be stumbling into your home at 3 am. DISRESPECTFUL.

If he can't make time for you during reasonable hours and in between buds, then you have your answer.

i agree with luisa. at 29 and 31 the fact that he's so into his friends and not spending time with you and settling down is troubing and i feel like you are wasting your time. especially because you guys doing everything separately. hes either with you or the friends and never both, also notice how you are getting all the sh*t times in his schedule where you don't have that much time and can't really do anything other than have a meal together.

Do you invite him to do stuff and he turns you down to spend time with friends? I mean, what happens if you try to schedule a Saturday day trip? Does he balk at the idea?

Based on the post, this seems like one of those relationships where you wait to see him on his schedule. I guess you could try talking to him about it. I mean, he might not realize he's hurting your feelings. But unless he's ignoring you or saying no to your plans in favor of friends, then you don't have much of an argument.

I can certainly understand that his actions make you feel insignificant. While I agree he needs to pursue some interests of his own, I wonder why you are so often excluded from his plans. Would you say he is a generally self-centered individual? If so, it may just all "be about him"! Perhaps you could suggest "sweetly" that you would just love to go with him on some of these "adventures" because you enjoy being with him. His response will tell you a lot! I am sometimes so out of the loop with my man in a similar way and I find that a non-threatening positive suggestion helps most of the time.Good luck and let us know what happens!