I need help figuring how to break up with a guy I've been seeing a little over a month. He's very nice and treats me very well, which makes things harder.
He's been introducing me to all his friends a colleagues, talks about meeting each other's parents and is planning trips for us two months from now, so I know he thinks this is something serious that's headed long-term.
I don't want to embarrass him or crush him - what's the best way to tell him I'm just not into it? There isn't anything specific about him, just a general overall feeling of "This isn't the guy for me." Can I get away with doing it over the phone? We haven't slept together . . .
D&G
Don't do it over the phone... It sounds like he has been nothing but nice to you, so give him the respect of breaking up with him in person. It will be harder on you, but may give him the closure he needs.
And just tell him the truth, that you think he is wonderful but he isn't the guy for you. Of course it will hurt his feelings and then he will move on.
1It's technically not even a breakup since you've only been seeing each other for a month. Don't worry too much about his feelings. Do what you need to.
2It's so hard to break up with the nice guy. Sometimes just the fact that a guy is over eager is a huge turn off as bad as that sounds. Be honest with him. He deserves to be let down honestly and in person.
3Why are you breaking up with him? If there is nothing wrong with him, just think things going too fast, i think you should let him know and give him another chance. Plus you only been dating for 1 month. but if you already made up your mind, tell him in person please.
4It's been 1 month?! I don't think you need to do it in person. As long as you don't just send a text I think you're ok.
I know it sucks to hurt someone. But better now than 3 months from now right? Just be logical about it. I mean, I'm sure he likes you, but his life isn't going to be over that this girl he's been seeing for 1 month doesn't think he's the one.
5Do it privately. If you're going to do it on the phone, don't call him at work or when he's hanging with friends, do it before bed or something. And don't put it off if for week or months.
6Agree with Hiding, Mod, and tomatoshirt.
I know it's only been a month, but he really likes you, and I think deserves to be treated decently and in person. If he was ambivalent about you too or long distance, a phone call would be ok by me, but he obviously isn't.
He sounds like a good guy, but not right for you. I think it is always better to do these things in person, unless you think the guy is a potential psycho/stalker. It's also a good lesson for you to learn how to deal with people face to face in uncomfortable circumstances. Honing that skill early in life will help you in the future, trust me on that one.
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