I have been with my boyfriend for a little over a year. When we were first dating he instantly didnt like my family... Im not really sure why. He had only met them once and just didnt like them. Despite that, for the past year, he would come to my house and be respectful but it was very clear that he would rather be anywhere other than sitting with my family. My parents and siblings picked up on his weird vibe whenever they were around, and they dont like him. They dont hate him, they just dont understand what his problem with them is. No one has ever been anything but kind and welcoming and respectful to him when he sees them. Either way, he stopped showing up to anything I invited him to, always having an excuse that he was working or busy or was with his family. But he fully expects me to come to any and every family event that is with his family... and I go out of respect for him.
About a month ago, we got in a fight and almost broke up becuase he works so much, we basically spend no time together because of his hours at work, and he doesnt like my family. We talked and he said he would try and be nicer to them, spend more time with me, etc etc I talked to him about Thanksgiving and he said that he would stop by and start making more of an effort to be around my family.
So this week he ran into my father, who invited him over to our house for Thanksgiving. I asked him yesterday if he was going to come and he said that he didnt know. Today he didnt call me or anything, he just texted me in the morning to say Happy Thanksgiving and then late tonight asked me if I wanted to sleepover. I said no. (His family lives in the next town over, literally a 5 minute drive away so its not really an issue about travel etc.)
I need some perspective here... I think he is being disrespectful and inconsiderate of not just me, but my family in general. He doesnt see anything wrong with his behavior at all, in fact he gets defensive and thinks that he is justified in how he acts. I am so hurt. This is someone I have talked about marriage and children with but now Im almost positive that it will never work. Its almost as though he wants nothing to do with my family or me when Im with my family, like we're not good enough for him to be around. This attitude goes beyond my family too, he wont hang out with my friends either and has blatently told me that he doesnt like them.
Am I overreacting or would other people feel the same way? How do I end this? What do I even say? I know I want to break up with him but I dont know how to convey how I feel to him, or if it will even make any difference? Any advice?