So my boyfriend went to Mexico on a boys only trip for one of his best friends birthdays - who is getting a divorce, btw. He called once the day after he arrived for about five minutes, told me he was too lazy - or drunk haha- to get a phone card and that calling me cost a dollar a minute so he had to go. But he hasn't called since then. Normally I would just think he was having fun with the boys and just wasn't in the hotel often enough, and when he was he was either sleeping or passing out or getting ready to go somewhere.
But I live with him, and one of the guys going with him, and the other guys girlfriend said her boyfriend called yesterday saying they hadn't really left the hotel. So...I don't really know what to think. It's only been three days, but I can't decide if HE'S decided that since we live together and see each other all the time, why should he have to call when he'll see me soon enough anyway? Or that he just...doesn't want to call, or whatever. I know he can, because he has, but he also told me he was going to call more than once and since they're coming home tomorrow night and STILL no call I don't think he's going to.
So my question is, should I get mad about it? He's not good at understanding other people emotions when, if the situations were reversed, he would have no problem with it...
I know he's just having fun and I trust him, but I feel like he's ignoring me and not respecting the fact that I asked him to call. At least, for more than 5 minutes. Should I be upset about it or just ask him why when he gets back and leave it at that? I DO trust him very much and don't think he's doing anything he shouldn't be. I try to be understanding about how HE thinks, but I'm getting tired of being the only one in the relationship that is even trying to think of it the situation in the other persons shoes. He doesn't like talking on the phone, we do live together and see each other every day, he's off with friends he doesn't get to see very often in Mexico drinking their socks off, so why should *I* get upset when he just can't find the time or energy to give me a call to let me know he's okay...that would be how he thinks of the situation.
How I think of it is, I was told explicitly that I WAS NOT ALLOWED to go. No girls were. Fair enough, I suppose. But the least he could do is call me - I'm not asking for every day, but at least long enough to tell me about his adventures and let me know he's thinking of me. I just...don't really know what to think, to be honest.
Boyfriend in Mexico...hasn't called for days.
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I think if you trust him and know he wouldnt cheat then i wouldnt say to much about it. Maybe he is just caught up in the moment and not really thinking your waiting by the phone. I dont think its worth fighting over if you think that will be where it ends up. If you can trust him i wouldnt worry..
1It's four days, and he's with his buddies - what's the big deal? If you trust him, then why don't you just focus on the homecoming? (Cause nothing will kill how happy he is to see you after four days of carousing with his friends like being b!itched at for not calling home more often.)
2No, I know how you feel. My boy used to fly to Majorca every summer with his (single) buddies and while I trusted him I didn't trust the alcohol or the bar skanks (sorry about the term I'm still kind of bitter about some experiences). I tried not to worry or make a fuss so as not to ruin his vacation, but my boyfriend knows me and how I would think so he made an effort to call for a quick hello or at least text. Just something to let me know he was thinking of me. Or that he was alive at least.
If he managed to do that I can't imagine why your boyfriend can't do
the same--especially when one of the guys apparently called HIS girlfriend.
But on the other hand, don't jump the gun. It doesn't necessarily mean he's off doing something stupid, if anything it's just really inconsiderate. I would try to be patient with him anyway and wait til he gets home, but no, I don't blame you for being frustrated.
3I understand how you feel, cos I've felt the same.
4I guess it's just a difference between males and females. I know that's a big generalisation...but, it seems to fit. Like you said, doesn't like talking on the phone, doesn't understand emotions...inconsiderate...I can relate!
I get that you're frustrated, I think it just depends on the person though. Like you said your friend got a call from her boyfriend, it's just the nature of it I guess. Peoples relationships are different.
Sometimes I envy my friends relationships and other times I think that my relationship is better than others....
I know you must be feeling frustrated, but maybe he honestly doesn't realise he's being inconsiderate. Maybe if he doesn't call again, just mention to him when he gets back how you felt....
Since you trust your bf and all that...why do you have to get mad when he doesn't call after the first one? You have to decide for yourself how important this is for you. Or perhaps his action is a sign of 'rebelliousness?'
Have you been giving him orders to check in or to call in...kind of like a mom?
This is how I take it, he may just be having a little bit too much fun in Mexico without you around and he forgets to call.
Ok, maybe he didn't forget to call (since his friend may call his gal in front of him or something), but then again, he didn't call because he's just trying:
1)to save money since he didn't even get that call card (he doesn't see the point since it's only for a few days and he has no one to call long distance with after he's back)
2)to avoid getting yelled at on the phone by mommy, whoops..I mean, you, his gf who's probably been stewing since he's not called after that short call in the beginning. It's not fun being yelled at by you, because it's going to ruin his mood for the mini-break he has with his pals.
It's going to be up to you if you want to sit him down and give him a talking to.
5Good luck.
"should I get mad about it? "
6Are you mad? Yes, clearly. Is it justified... perhaps not. Look, you need to pick your battles. If you nag him into calling you every day, does that make you happy? How happy do you think it makes him? Chill out and relax. You definitely shouldn't put on the anger show when he gets home... you should kiss him, tell him how much you missed him and ask how his trip was. If you find out something bad happened, then you should dump him. No need to make this a complicated matter. Keep yourself busy and know that he's missing being with you just as much as you miss being with him. Unless you don't miss him or don't trust him. Then it's the end.
He should have called you. It would have been considerate. But since he's not, then maybe sometime you should go on a girls trip to Paris and not call him for five days either and blame it on roaming charges, So he knows how it feels to be called a nag when he just wants to see how things are going.
7I feel like you are getting overly mad at the situation. THis is one of those nit-picky things that this issue itself becomes the argument however there is something else that is really the issue here, the no phone call was just the hair that broke the camels back so to speak.
So now you need to think about what is really bothering you here.
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