I took the bar exam the last three days of July. About five minutes after I finished the test my boyfriend who I had lived with called to tell me that while I was off taking the exam he had moved out and we were finished. Also, he had gone ahead and canceled our trip to the Bahamas that I had spent hours and hours planning. My "bar trip." I returned home to find everything gone, except for my clothes which were in piles because he took the dressers, and some things which were obviously mine such as make-up. But other things like my pillow, blankets, towels, all kitchen items, and even a laptop were taken. I have been frantically searching for housing for the past week but have not been able to find anything. I am starting work next week for a non-profit and can't afford much in terms of rent. I can't afford to stay where I am because he was paying a greater share of the rent, and the rent on the place is about $3000 a month. My sister is moving 800 miles to live with me so we can rent a one bedroom and share the cost, but even then I am afraid I can hardly make ends meet. I am looking for suggestions for how to cope. I realize I am mostly in shock still, but I wonder if anyone has any ideas for what to do, how to survive when your entire world changes on a dime. And I also looking for reassurances that things like this don't normally happen, that you can trust people.
Vicenza
Damn that sucks. Have you tried to get any of your stuff back, i mean a laptop couldn't you at least sell that if you didnt need it?? Did you involve the police in this???
1I'm so sorry! Maybe you need to involve the police as Laluna says if he doesn't respond. I don't know how your relationship was, but that is a cruel, terrible and selfish way for him to end things.
I don't know what city you live in but you should be able to find something less than $3000 a month. Things will be tough for a while but don't be afraid to ask family and friends for support. It's great your sister is there for you. As tough as things are now, you will survive. Human beings are amazingly resilient!
2YES, you need to call the police and give them his name and other identifying information(like his social security number and drivers lisence, if you don't know them your landlord will) and the make and model of his car so they can hunt him down. ALSO, I am SO SORRY that this happened to you. All I can say is, what a !@#$^!! ... You need to Get Angry about this. Get angry, and it will give you the momentum and courage to push through the tough months ahead. You did not deserve this kind of treatment in any way, NO Matter What You Acted Like in the relationship. This guy is a douche(no other word I can use here!!) and a huge wussy for not having the balls to tell you he was contemplating, and then planning, this! This proves his complete lack of character and integrity, and I hope you are starting to see how LUCKY you are that he is Out Of Your Life, even if it had to happen the way that it did. Thank God for your sister; what a lifesaver she is for you. Yes, things will be lean for a year or two, and maybe really sucky(maybe not so bad because you'll have a lot of fun with your sister too, I'm sure) but after the putting-it-all-back-together time, you'll be back with a vengeance and just think, you may be helping women who have also suffered at the hands of a cad like this one(the best anticdote!!)so get showered, get pretty, glam it up and get out there even if you don't feel up to it, just to prove to yourself that you still got it, and you CAN move on JUST FINE. Congrats on passing the bar, girl!!!!!!!!!
3What a cruel, heartless, selfish f%#king SOB a*&hole! You're a lawyer or close to it, sue his ass!
4Well, I'd take him to small claims court, but the limit there is $5k so that wouldn't begin to cover your expenses. The best thing you can do is take a deep breath, and when you're ready, take some time to reflect on the relationship and figure out how things got to this point without you noticing something was up.
Yet one more reason living together before marriage is a horrible idea.
5Holy sh*t girl.
First of all, sad to say these things do occasionally happen BUT it's rare, ok? You will be able to trust people again, but it will take a little while. And that's okay because you'll want some time to get over this.
I don't know where you live, but they have Freecycle, Good Will and other places like that in most areas. I am sure you can replace your towels and other housewares on the cheap from places like that. I know that's humbling but oftentimes there's actually really nice stuff.
Take care of yourself. The world will start righting itself slowly. Try to find the good/beauty in the people you know and the world around you.
6If you're Canadian then small claims court covers up to $10k. Also, if you've lived together for longer then 1 year then you are common-law married (depending on which province) which means you can take him to court to get half of your guys' stuff and possibly alimony. I've never heard of something as heinous as this but thank god you have a supportive family.
Get this guy and rake him through the coals... he isnt worth the saliva you should spit in his face. You're a lawyer, your first case should be kicking this loser's butt all over the court room. What a dog. Bring justice to the a$$holes of the world and let us know what happens!
"Don't fall for someone who's not willing to catch you"
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