omg dump him! hes clearly gay or bi. theres nothing wrong with either of those, but he needs to be honest about it. not to mention he beat you up! he is going through some serious internal issues and struggles and you do not need to be his cover girlfriend or punching bag. also i hope you are using protection with him as he could be stepping out on you with men or women. this is not healthy for you or your family, let him be on his own to sort himself out.

i agree with gal321. you definitely need to get out of this relationship. i know you love him and probably can't picture life without him, but there are two HUGE reasons you should end this: HE IS GAY AND HE BEATS YOU! how much worse can it get???? you need to understand that you are young and there are other men in the world for you. you DON'T need to deal with someone like your boyfriend. he has some major problems that he needs to address, and you cannot help him with them. also, a man who beats you should NEVER be around your children. as a mother, you should not allow him to live in the same house as your kids if he is abusive. imagine if he ever hit them! you would never forgive yourself. also, like gal321 said, there is probably more to this that you don't know. it is a major possibility that he has already cheated on you, and probably with someone who has STD's. i don't see any benefits to staying in this relationship. good luck with everything!!

Get out now. Being alone has got to be better than this.

He has a profile in a gay web site with photos of his penis.
He beats you.
He is probably gay or bi.

Totally agree with the others!!
Dump him now!!

Usually, I try not to give drastic advices. But this time, I can't help it.

when i read your post, i thought you were about 20 years old. You are old enough to know better and to act better. You ARE BETTEr THAN THIS. fOR HEAVEN'S SAKE-he is gay, which means you can't change him and he BEATS YOU UP. What the hell are you waitng on? For him to hurt your kids?

Um.

He doesn't want to have sex with you that often because he's GAY. Yes, closeted and very much in denial (that's why he probably blows up when someone accuses him of one), but he's GAY.
No, you can't change him regardless how many @nal sex you give him.

Not to mention, he's VIOLENT.
I feel really sorry for your teenage kids if this is the case, I'm pretty sure that if he doesn't mind beating you down, he'll go after them when there's no more punching bag.

Being alone IS BETTER than this.

You are way too needy, and if you had the self-respect you should, you would have gotten out a long time ago. If you can't do it for yourself, please do it for your kids. Even if he does not hit them, they are living in a home where their mother is allowing a very troubled man to lie to her and beat her. I don't even want to think about how that is setting them up for their future relationships!

Drop him like a bad habit, which he apparently is.
let's pretend he doesn't hit you (which he does)
and let's pretend he isn't gay or at least bi and seeking out men (which he is)
he is seeking out other people WHILE you two are together.

So he is a cheating gay/bi abuser. yeah peace out on that guy. Good luck.

Thank you for all your replies, I know I have a lot of thinking to do! Just wanted to add that my kids obvouisly know nothing about this, I don't feel they are at risk in any way. There has never been a situation where they have been witness to any of the arguments, shouting, hitting . It has only ever happened when they have been staying at the Father's. Which they do one night a week. Not that them not witmessing makes it ok.

You know the answer. Break up with him. He is lying to you.

BTW, this has to be the longest series of run-on sentences that I have ever read. Edit!

He is GAY, make no doubt about it. GAY, GAY, GAY. He is not yet ready to really come out of the closet and is using you as his safety net. If he hit you, do not confront him about this anymore. You do not need this, why are you allowing yourself to be victimized? I am sad your kids are involved. GEt out NOW! If you are afraid for your safety, do it in a public place or with friends/adult relatives around. Men do not like sex with other men on a regular basis unless they are GAY, and the fact that he is not interested in sex with you just reinforces that fact. Also, get yourself tested for STD's, including HIV. I hope you were using condoms the whole time. Once again, get out NOW. You know this already, please do what is best for yourself and your kids. If a man would beat a woman, he would most likely also beat a child. Do you really want this to happen?

YOU CAN DO MUCH BETTER THAN HIM, sorry to be blunt, but I am being 100% honest with you! Leave him NOW and don't waste another minute hurting or worrying or anything like that!!! Life is way too short to waste time, you want to live a happy life, not a miserable life full of worry and upset and many other negative feelings that come with it! I know it will be hard for the first while because I know you do love him, but let's be honest, is his heart really all there with you? To be honest, you are NOT the problem,and pleasedon't think that it has anyting to do with you or something is worng with you for him to turn to those type of sites, he obviously has a "BIG PROBLEM" and sounds to me like he is either GAY or very BI-SEXUAL, and very confused, as well as preverted in a sense. He is obviously some sort of strange "sexual deviant" as well, if you understand what I mean. Remember this, each day is another day that will NEVER come again, and everyone deserves to live each day to it's fullest, and make it as happy a day as you can! You can do this, get out NOW before more feelings accumulate, because the longer you stay with him, the worse it's going to get, and the harder it'll be to leave him. There are many other good, trusting, caring, loving, and "STRAIGHT' faithful men out there who will make you happy in every way when the time is right. Don't waste another second with this "PIG", I can't stress that enough to you! But, Ultimately, in the end, you are the one who has to make this decision on your own, people can only give their best advice to you, you are the one to make the actual decision. I wish you lots of happiness in the future and good luck' in whatever decision you make!

P.S. - Forgot to mention, as for your children, even though they are now teenagers, it's also best for them as well to LEAVE. They don't need to see you suffering and unhappy, that'll make them feel the same way, and I am sure that you don't want them to be upset or unhappy either. As for the ABUSE, you know that it is VERY WRONG, and people like that usually don't change, it either stays the same or gets worse in the longrun, do you really deserve that? There is "NO EXCUSE" for any kind of abuse whether physical or mental, it's all the same. Be good to yourself,"LEAVE NOW" and start a new, happy and healthy beginning for both you and your family as well. It'll take time to adjust, but in the end, you will feel so much better and so relieved from all the stress he has caused for you! Again, GOOD LUCK!

He's probably on the verge of converting. He's probably still discovering himself. There's not much you can do if he's into that though..but you can think for your future, and your kids'.

Do you want your kids to have a father who has a boyfriend and beats up their mother? That's not exactly a father-figure you know..

Ok seriously.. you're are wanting us to tell you what you already know. He's at the very least BI! If he were gay, I don't think he'd be able to achieve an erection or orgasm with a woman. You're in a tough situation because I'm sure you don't want to start dating again after you've been with someone with so much time invested that already has a relationship with your kids. He gets mad when you bring it up because he's feeling guilty about his inner feelings. I would suggest being friends and hanging out and letting him do his own thing. Maybe he needs to go an experience the fantasy he is chasing and then you will really find out if he's gay or bi.