I've been dating my boyfriend for two years and everything seems great. We knew each other for about 2 years before we even started dating so we were best friends first. I've always trusted him and he's never given me a reason not to. I was at his apt yesterday while he was at school. I was at his computer and his email was up. I KNOW I shouldn't have but of course I did. I didn't read them I just kind of scrolled through to see who he gets emails from. Well there was one reply from a craigslist ad which I thought was strange and it was someone asking to get to know him better. Well my boyfriend's family moved out-of-state last summer and he spent most of the time with them in the new state. I found out (through the email) that he posted an ad on craigslist looking to meet people his age so he had friends there. Well under his sent items I found an email he sent to a craigslist girl saying what type of women he likes and how he usually dates older women (not in our case!). It was a semi-flirty email but then again I could be reading into it more than it was. Well I never saw any more replies or emails sent from him to anyone else. This really bothers me and I want to confront him, yet I'm faced with the dilemma that I was snooping through his emails and not respecting his privacy. What do I do? I don't know if I can just ignore this and go on with everything, even though this happened a few months ago and nothing seems to have come from it. I'm assuming, and hoping, that he just wanted to meet friends and it got a little carried away? HELP! Also, knowing the type of guy my bf is he'll look right past the email and bring more attention to the fact that I was invading his privacy.
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No, it's not an exaggeration, he's looking around and not only that, has taken ACTION to contact the other women (or only 1?) at the other place to get a feel for probably some 'side fun' when he's not in your hometown. Or he may have done more and you just happened to catch the 'milder' version of his e-mails, because he may have other e-mail addresses which he's used to e-mail his one-nighters/affairs.
My suggestion: DUMP HIM.
Don't even bother confronting him because he's a d!ckwad.
He's going to go on a spew about how you violated his privacy and he's also morally corrupt because the guy is cheating on you. He might have had one-nighters you don't even know of and it's probably not his first time. Scary, huh. You probably have to go to get tested if you guys haven't been practicing safe sex.
I'm not going to give a moral speech on how 'Oh you have to respect blabla's privacy.' Y'know what, many women, not all of them will admit this, if given the chance to read the s/o's private e-mail (like your experience--the e-mail page is up and he forgets to close it. HAPPENS all the time) WILL do so.
My hubby had the same experience as yours with his ex (when he was together w/ his ex of 7 years). He accidentally found her e-mail up on the computer and read the same exact thing (but a little further because she already claimed that she was 'falling for' the other guy). My hubby didn't say a word to her, at first, he just didn't talk to her for a week or two, he slept on the couch then he gave her 30 day to move out of his house. See? Even a GUY will read your e-mail if it's up the screen on accident. So it's not just you
Sure, she finally found out that he read her e-mail and she probably did get all 'high and mighty' and telling my hubby how he violated her privacy. But 5 years later, when I actually met her (yeah yea, I used to be friendly w/ the ex), she KNOWs she did wrong by cheating on my hubby (or intending to) and yeah, she's always regretted how things ended. So your bf KNOWs he does wrong and will regret it even more after he lost you.
I'm really sorry though. It's hard, but it's even harder having to continue with a man who can't be trusted. It's one thing if he's always been a 'player' from the beginning of your friendship, but it's another if you think he's a good trustworthy guy and the betrayal is deeper.
Good luck to you.
1You have to remember - he hasn't done anything wrong, yet. If you really want to confront him, say "You left your e-mail open and I noticed a reply from Craigslist. Are you selling something? I didn't read it because I didn't want to snoop, but it piqued my interest."
Odds are, he's probably trying to arrange some booty calls for next time he visits home.
2Yeah, sounds like he is arranging some booty call assortments for when he is away from you. Which really says a lot about the type of man he is. Eh, I know it's been a longtime and that you're in love but it's best to suck it up and accept that he is most likely looking to cheat or move on.
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