I know that my fiance` has been working very hard the last few weeks, but there's this certificate, called CFA if anyone's aware of it, that I really want him to study and pass. It's a great chance for him and it will open many many options for him in the work area. He just can't get himself to study and always tells me that it needs a lot of work and commitment and that he's just not that guy. He also told me that he works a lot these days and the few hours that he gets off he just wants to relax and chill.
He paid for the CFA program and is attending the course, all he has to do now is study. How can I convince him? Am I pushing him too hard?
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I think you need to back off and let him make his own decisions. He's not a child - he's an adult, and if he doesn't want to study for the test then that is his call. Let him learn from his own mistakes.
It's hard to watch someone you love make "mistakes" but when you choose a partner hopefully you are choosing them as an equal and someone whose mind and decisions you respect. To me the above post sounded more like a parent/child type dynamic where you are the mom, and he's the kid that's watching TV instead of getting his homework done.
1I sympathize with you, because I often want my bf to be more proactive in certain areas of his life. But I agree with popgoestheworld. You have to let him make his own choices. I'm sure he understands the importance of the CFA, but if he doesn't want to do it, you just can't force him into it.
Try to relax and have faith that he has his career under control. And if he doesn't, there really isn't much that you can do about it.
2He's feeling overwhelmed and probably feels like he has to live up to the expectations others have of him. Just back off and let him do whatever he wants, otherwise he'll dump you for someone who loves him for who he is.
3No need to force him or nag him. He's not a baby anymore. Let him decide what he wants to do, if he's paid all those and fail, he'll have to retake the test later on, and pay some more, but it'll all be on him alone.
Hopefully he'll wizen up.
Good luck.
4He's not going to do it if he doesn't truly want to do it. It's like pushing an addict to AA, or making your kid go to a particular college. Let him do what he wants and if you love him, you'll be happy with whatever that is
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