Hi, i havenever posted here b4 but my friend shannon said it was a safe place to i guess vent and figure things out, and i really need that rightr now...., so here it goes....

Ok, so I met this guy at a frat party at my school in April of 2007. We kinda hit it off in that sort of, " Hey...your cool." kind of way. that night we just talked and danced all night. the next day i met him at another party, here i had been drinking a little so we ended up getting a little physical. He doesn't go to my school, bt he is around b/c he is involved with sports on campus. So for about a month or so we would randomly see eachother and mess around. I wasn't attached to him at all at this point i just thought he was this nice guy who i was randomly hooking up with. after a while he started comming around more and more, asking me on casual dates and we would spend hours together. i Got a little freaked out and ...kinda tried to lose him for a while :-\ (not something i am proud of), and got close to but then i realized that i was starting to really like him. We started seeing eachother everyday at the end of the year b4 i was going to leave and each night was as amazing as the next, he was kind and funny and gentle, and wwe have this amazing chemistry. He'd also tell me about his problems and things and we got to be really close friends ...(but more.) the last day i was with him b4 i was to leave for home i ended up sleeping with him, and it felt so right, i dont regret a thing. that summer we ended up talking close to everyday over a web cam and would talk about life and make eachother laugh, and he told me about his life and his secrets, and everytime we talked i felt closer and closer to him. (During this period b/c we live in different states and we didnt really figure out what we were we both dated other people and were free to do what we wanted.) I was really excited to get back to school and just see him to see if things would continue on or if we would just be friends. I think i knew i was growing to love him, but i wouldnt admit it to myself.
The first week of school stirred up a lot of drama for him, and as he has told me the were 3 other women in his life that were making it hard for him to just do what he wanted. He would come over to my school and just we would spend time togethr and he would vent to me and we'd have a good time, things picked up litereally right where they left off. for a while i was just considering it messing around still because we started sleep int together right away and i know that it could have just been physical, but it just seemed like so much more as time progressed. In Sept. when i was back at school and we picked up again this is the drama that was his life...(w/o all the details b/c it would take forever.) there were 3 girls. 1) was an actual stalker who finally was expelled from school, 2) was a girl who had once been a love interest and i guess it fell through, she would apparently come around constantly and bug him, even though he still anted to be friends. and 3) was his Ex from high school. I know that they had re-dated during the summer and i know he still cared for her and i wouldnt want to ruin that friendship b/c she helped him through a really bad time, but she was gogin around saything that she was still with him. (i Know the red flags should have come up right here, but i couldn't fight how i felt about him.) Well anyway we were not official but exclusivly seeing one another for months while he was trying to figure these things out and he has been open about everything, but i have been really paranoid about his Ex's being so close. I had heard that he had still been seeign both of them when we first met for a good friend and i guess that always stuck with me. ( i'm not as concerned about him seeing them then, but i feel like there is something up now.) in october i finally told him how i felt about him, tha ti was in love with him and that i couldnt keep on dealing with this drama and he told me he did love me, he just wasn't ready himself to admitt that to me on his own. we cried in eachothers arms all that night and i figured that it would be over.
The next couple of days we talked and tried to figure everythig out he promised me that he would try to fix it and try to sort out his life, and he would take me to his school to meet his friends like i wanted. I met some great people, but he didnt want me to meet either of the girls yet, i can understand y but still it just didnt seem right. from late october through late november we would date talk go out play..everything and i was slowly letting him know me more (im a garded person)... in november i feel like he came to terms with his heart and me, and he told me that he loved me so much and that he wanted me there for him...and in december we finally termed it official. i have met his friends and i had a chnce to meet one of the girls who is still around, she is a really pretty girl and wa nice enough to me, but she would come around constantly wanting thngs while i was around so that we would not have time to be alone, he handled it beautifully,

but here my current state of problem...finally... his ex from HS. the one who he was with during the summer, i never got to meet her. SHe seems like a really sweet girl, and she probably is but she is still telling ppl that they are together. and that seems so odd to me. i dont know why she would do that unless it was like the first girl and a mental problem... but she doenst. I guess it brought up a lot of problems and insecurities i was having in the begining. I told him i needed to talk with her. and so i am planning to soo when i am back, just to get to know her b/c i feel she is important, but My boyfriend seems very worried that she will make up some lies and i will leave him. and the fact he is so worried ..worries me. I know that by bringing up this issue i had i tore down some of the trust that he had built in me, but i cannot trust blindly and this is a big thing for me. so i was resoulute. I finally told him about a past relationship that had made all of this so hard for me, and after telling him i have hadly anymore secrets. I love him so much, he is act the first person i have ever been in love with and i know he loves me. but there is something a little off right now.
i talked to him last night and we got very close to ending this. b/c i dont know when his drama will end, but i want to try to see it out to its fullest potential, i wan't him to be happy. I want to be happy and in love with him without all the drama.
he deserves that, and so do i, i guess i am just not sure what is going to happen. Sent the girls a message sayign i wanted to talk with them, and apparently i was called some ..mean names... i just told them i wanted to talk with them, just to get to know them. I know we will probably never be friedns but i want a chance to let them know who i am. one hasn't respnded to me ( iwas kind of prepared for that), but the other seems interestd...regardless of what i was told she called me.
I just want to see what they are about, and i want to know why alex is so scared for me to talk to her. i guess i am prepped for the worse. But i still love him and i know no matter what its gonig to be hard. And i am willing to weather it.
So that covers about the entirety of our relationship in a nut shell. there's so much more i could say too but that is the base.

Im not sure what i am looking for here ...i guess views. what others think. any help would be great.