well from my experience ultimatums are not that great. If they are "just friends" then you shouldn't worrie to much about it, just make sure you are aware of whats going on. I am friends with some of my exes, but I would not tell them that I love them! I would just keep a clost eye on those two, it sound a little fishy to me!!

Ultimatums are not the way to go here.

Leaving him is probably the best way to go. If it were me, and I found out that my bf/lover/whatever has been lying to me and was still affectionate/lovey-dovey/sexual w/ his ex in the beginning of the relationship, then I'd drop him immediately and not wait 2 years later. I'd probably say that 'Well, it's been okay, but I'm not okay with your lies and I don't intend to be in a relationship where I feel like I'm a rebound. Bye.'

Since you have waited for 2 years...cut your loses now. Unless you're fine being an 'investigator' and being suspicious all the time when they talk/hang out, wondering what they talk about or what they're doing, if they're crossing the line or not and feel jealous when your bf calls her out of the blues because he 'misses' talking to her and so on. Those suspicions, those insecurities will eat away at you if you can't suddenly take charge and dissolve those feelings.

Has he showed you though (in this past 2 years) that he hasn't been crossing the boundaries after the very first time he lied to you? If he has, it's really up to you if you want to continue the relationship, I'm just saying that if it were me, it's probably not going to work because once someone lies about something that big I always feel like I have to watch out and that's not a good way to go through life/relationship.

Everyone comes w/ an ex, but yeah, some of them are just friendly, some are crossing boundaries, the ones who are crossing boundaries are usually the ones who aren't quite over each other yet. So the person they date after their relationship is probably a rebound..which sucks but that's love and life for you.

I got my current BF while getting over and ex and I would still tell my ex that I loved him and missed him. I guess it just seems like a normal thing to say to a recent ex. I guess the distinction there was never any suggestion of porking, nor did I lie to my current BF who knew I was going through a hard break up.

Question for you though: were you exclusive when he was telling his ex he still loved her? Was he telling you he loved you at the same time? Because if you were exclusive, and he was telling you both he loved you, that's sh*tty. But if you were just starting to date, well, that's a little different.

She's obviously important to him, and I actually applaud him being honest with you saying that she's always going to be his friend. That is nice because it gives you a chance to make a decision with full information. You need to accept her as his friend, or you need to break up with him. If you stay anywhere in between, it will drive you BOTH nuts!

Listen, we can't see the full picture of your relationship with this guy. Who knows? maybe he is a sweetheart and doesn't actually communicate with his ex that much. I would have not judged but something in this post really bothered me. It sounds like he is hung up on his ex and that he just can't seem to let go of the relationship. If I started dating someone and they told another girl they loved her -- Oh my goodness, you would have to hold me back. It just seems so completely disrespectful and immature. He should know when you're in a relationship you either but your all into it or step away. You can't have the best of both worlds (Unless your Hannah Montana, had to say it!) you need to get out of this relationship and let him do what he wants.

If he said he loved her and want to pork? after you two were monogamous- not appropriate. I wouldn't be comfortable with them being friends either, especially after they lied about it. I'd leave him.

if you said "it's either her or me" and he said "I'll always be friends with her"..... he kinda chose.

DON'T EVER give a guy an ultimatum because he will feel backed into a corner and not like that. Tell him, 'look, this bothers me. We need to find a solution fast because if you still want me in your life, we need to figure this out' and then tell him what you want, don't tell him he better choose. Because he will choose her..