Well, my title says it all.
My boyfriend was only with 2 girls prior to being with me, and I was the first one he went down on because he loved me, as he put it.
He seems to have an aversion to both giving it and receiving it.
Wait a minute, actually he doesn't seem to at all...he DOES.
We've been together 7 months and he's only gone down on me 3 times.
And it's always been when I've asked for it.
The first time we were together he didn't do it and I very nearly didn't give him a second chance.
I've just never met a man who doesn't like it and unfortunately, his best friend doesn't like to do it either, from what I've heard, so he seems to think this is normal for most guys.
I don't think it's very normal.
So far, I can handle it and maybe I will be ok with it every once in a blue moon, but I still think it is weird.
What's even more perplexing is the fact that he doesn't like getting it either.
Now that to me is very odd.
I like to do that and feel it is not fair that I have never done that for him in all the time we have been together.
I have tried, of course, but he always stops me and says he prefers to make love instead.
He has never had one and has no idea what one feels like.
My Mother says it's better that way, as he doesn't know what he's missing and anyway, she thinks that saves me a lot of work.
I don't look at it as work, I look at it as something I can do to make my boyfriend happy and the fact that he doesn't want it at all, well, I just don't know what to think about that.
Charles Anastase
Tipster
Marc Jacobs
Is your boyfriend really religious? I've found that most "religious" men find oral sex very distasteful. Many of them consider anything other than straight, mission-style sex to be strange or wierd. Will he watch adult videos? That might help.....(?)
1OMG! He's wrong, he's lying, he has performance anxiety, and he knows if he doesn't ask for it you can't demand it.
Oral is a natural and very very awesome element in peoples sex lives. Demand it! Who cares about the work? it's the man you supposedly love, don't you want to change his mind about oral and totally make his head explode? don't you want him to take care of your needs? sex isn't just about the act of intercourse, it's about having fun with someone you love in a way that you can only do together.
read savage love thestranger.com/savage and get some perspective. a man unwilling to be a good, giving and game lover is not a good man to be with.
2Well said, StefaPie!!
3p.s. my ex had never done oral before me, and i never asked for it because i thought i could live without it.
4After about 6 months i realized I can't. and nobody should.
he was terrible at it at first, but after some practice and positive reinforcement, he got so so so much better.
(we broke up for reasons unrelated to this)
Have you asked him WHY? It seems that would be the simple solution here.
5"I don't look at it as work, I look at it as something I can do to make my boyfriend happy"
But if he doesn't want it, then you are making him happy by NOT doing it. Not all men are the exact same, sexually.
It seems like we all have some preconceived notions about "what men like." Maybe he truly doesn't like oral, or maybe you aren't good at it and he doesn't have the heart to tell you. Either way you have no reason to think he's being dishonest in telling you he prefers to have sex.
As for you not receiving oral, not all men enjoy giving oral sex, in the same way that not all women enjoy it. If it's something you can't live without and he's not willing to do it once a month or whatever you feel you need, then you should consider moving on.
6Okay I had a similar problem. My boyfriend didn't like going down on me because he just never did it before. A lot of the girls he had been with were purely sexual relationships, not caring ones. I talked to him about it and told him that he needs to please me and that he should WANT to please me. Just talk with him, calmly, rationally and NOT before or after sex. Choose a neutral time. If you lay out the reasons why him going down on you is important for you (intimacy, orgasm, pleasure, etc) then he will probably start to do it. It may take a little time for him to start doing it completely on his own so just kindly ask him whenever you are in the mood. It should work! Good luck!
7I absolutely hate receiving and giving oral sex. I hate when my boyfriend goes down there and told him to stop. It feels very strange to me and makes me feel really uncomfortable. I'm not uptight but personally think it's absolutely disgusting. I'm into other stuff like anal so I'm definitely not uptight!
You're insulting your boyfriend by saying he isn't normal for something he feels. If he doesn't like it thats his preference. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with him. If you can't handle it than leave him! you aren't obligated to stay with him if you want to find a guy who will go down there for you.
Oh yeah, telling your mother about your problems and sex life is the worst idea ever. I know so many people who used to do this (including myself) and it never ends well. You don't want your parents knowing everything about your relationship. I'm sure your boyfriend doesn't appreciate it either.
8Why are you talking to mom about this?!
Oh man, as far as my parents, the only time they know I've had sex is probably ONCE and it's because we HAVE A SON
But yeah, your man is the same as my hubby, as mine doesn't enjoy getting oral sex that much but lucky for me, he LOVES giving oral and he's got that magic thing
So what I do is give him oral as a foreplay (kind of like the appetizer), not make it the main dish. I think in my hubby's case, it's more like he prefers to orgasm by his own 'control.' That's why he's not that keen on having oral as mean for him to achieve orgasm. P.s. my hubby is NOT religious at all.
I think what one person considers normal may not be normal to others. You should look at it this way, is this a deal-breaker for you or what? Is he even great with his tongue? I mean, do you think you'll be missing lots of pleasure if he's not wanting to perform oral on you?
Well, as long as he's fine with performing oral on you, I don't see the problem. But if he complains and says that he hates giving oral..then yeah...you'll have a problem.
Good luck.
9Is this really something to even whine about? Oral is absolutely the most non intimate act to be done. Send that guy to me and i'll totally appreciate him.
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