So I am fairly new at the 'dating game' as I just got out of a long 4yr relationship. I met this guy who is a bit older than me one night outside of a party. He asked me to go to his friend's party that night and I agreed. We had a nice time and then I went back to his place. He was a gentleman and we just stayed up and talked until the morning. We did end up sleeping together but then spent the entire next day together watching movies. I left his place and he called me right when I got home. I was going out of town the next week and he asked me to call him upon my return. When I got back I text messaged him that I was back. He responded that he was glad I was back safe and sound. The next day he asked me if he could cook me dinner and when would work for me. I said Friday and he said that if I promised it would be worth it he would cancel his plans. He said that he 'missed me' and I said that I must have made quite an impression on him. He responded by saying that I was 'so beautiful' and he hoped it wasn't a 'one night thing'. I followed up the next day asking about Friday. Didn't hear back from him until Friday night where he said he was 'sorry but he just got his phone back'. We texted back and forth a few times, again him saying he missed me and would love to see me. I went over to his place and we had a great night. We again staying up until the morning talking, listening to music, etc. We slept together again and we again stayed in end until the evening the next day. He then texted me the next day saying he had a 'great time'. I responded by saying I had a great time too. It was been 2 days now since I have heard from him. Do I text him again? Is the ball in his court? Should I reach out to him some how? Should I play hard to get? Why would he say all of this nice stuff to me? I feel like I am bordering on just being a hook up. How do I be sure I don't fall into that category? Thank you!
Wonderbra
Trust me cut the sex out and see how he acts. If he really liked you he would be contacting you everyday no excuses. You are falling into that category of a hook up and i have been there you need to cut the sex out now. He will never look at you anything more then that if your having sex everytime you go over there. Dont be so available either if he wants to make plans for a certain day tell him your busy always keep the ball in your court for now anyway. Good luck
1He's using you for sex. He says nice things to you to get you to have sex with him. Guys say nice things to girls all the time just to get into their pants. When a guy is honestly giving you compliments from the heart you will know it and you won't question his motives or where you stand with him. Don't waste your time on this guy.
2I agree with the other 2 comments... you are definitely going to become that girl he just calls when he wants to get laid and thats it. Of course he is going to tell you whatever you want to hear and make u laugh so you'll keep coming around. And "NO" dont call. I know you want to but it wont be worth it in the end. Let him call. Females tend to make the first move to often now and thats why dudes feel they can do whatever. Honestly i think this is just a rebound session and youre looking for someone to replace your ex, but you shouldnt've did it by having sex with someone on the first night. And by him saying he hopes it was not just for one night doesnt mean that he wants to be in a relationship it just means he doesnt want to lose his benefits. Girl just hold back. Im not saying he is not really interested just dont put yourself in a situation to be played.
3If you don't want to be a booty call, don't sleep with a guy on the first date.
There's something that I find alarming about your post. You met this guy outside of a party, and then you left the original party with him......and then you went home with him. I'm glad nothing happened that you didn't want to have happen, but your behavior worries me. You really didn't know anything about this man's character, or whether you could trust him. And yet you went to a separate location with him, and then to his home. Don't you think that's a bit reckless?
4Ummm...you already ARE in that category, you aren't about to be there. I think it's pretty clear he only considers you a hook up. Sorry
The only times you've seen him, you guys have had sex. He just says nice things to get sex. And yes, he might even like watching movies with you b/c he's bored and has nothing else to do and wants some company too.
"and he said that if I promised it would be worth it he would cancel his plans." That comment exactly spells out for you what he wants. He was only wiling to cancel his plans if you promised you would have sex with him. I assuming you did tell him it would be worth it. I'm 99.9% sure he wouldn't have cancelled plans to see you that night if you had told him you weren't going to have sex.
That's all he wants, he's using you. Forget him and move on to someone who honestly likes you and won't use you.
5Play hard to get? Girl, he already GOT you! He's not interested in a relationship, just sex. The other girls are right. If you want to play games, you have to have some cards in your hand... sleeping with a man you've just met doesn't leave you with many cards.
6Don't contact him! If and when he makes another date with you, do NOT sleep with him again. Also, do not go to hang out at his house. Make sure he takes you out on a proper date such as dinner or a movie and when the date is over, go home. Tell him that you are interested in a relationship with him, not just sex and that you hope he feels the same way. Trust me, if sex is all that he wants, you will find out pretty quick if you are not giving it to him. Good luck.
7Everyone is right..he is there for the hook up and sweet talking you to get it. Sorry, but he got what he wanted on day one, and now is expecting it. You definitely already are the booty call.
Instead of asking what he wants, ask youself, what do YOU want?
If all you want is a fling with no attachment or hope for a real relationship, this guy may be fine for that. If you want something more, I'm afraid the chance of that is slim. His behavior it Guy 101.
Especially agree with honey....where is your brain that you would just go to some stranger's house and spend the night there? Did anyone know where you were? I really don't agree with one night stands, not from a moral perspective, but from a safety one. It is very risky behavior, IMHO.
Figure out what you want from this guy, and act accordingly.
8Don't call him. Let him call. This guy didn't even have to take to to dinner and a movie and you're acting like his girlfriend. You made yourself convenient and it's boring. Is anything a mystery or a challenge for him now? You guys started at the end without a beginning. It's too bad that you didn't take some time to know him and place yourself in a better situation. Hopefully he'll call.
9Post A Comment
To post comments, please log in or register.