First of all, I'm a girl who runs around half naked in a theater once a month, and I have friends who are strippers. Not all strippers have the same integrity of my friends, but... A lot of strippers have families, husbands, boyfriends, etc. And ALL (or at least any good ones) strip clubs have a "no touchy" rule, so you know your husband has not been touching any boobs without getting a black eye from a bouncer.

Secondly (well, really a continuation of the first), this is an entirely notouchy situation. Do you believe your husband has never looked at porn while dating you? Have you never looked at porn while dating him? Strippers are pretty much the same thing, they are there to be looked at. Not touched. Ever.

Thirdly, why are you not telling him that this bothers you and in your mind feels like cheating? He might not think it bothers you because not all women are bothered by their husband/boyfriend seeing strippers, and because of the notouchy environment, he probably figured you'd be "ok" with it. Meanwhile, I'm betting that he went there as a night out with the boys, not necessarily to see other women's boobies.

Being married only 6 months, he's probably not even thinking about cheating on you. But, from the sound of it, you haven't really ever defined for him what cheating is, and what you're comfortable with him doing. Since you're apart for so long, you really need to establish these rules. STOP playing cool. You're not helping anyone. Sure, you may think you need to "stay strong" or whatever, but this is a problem that will persist until you get divorced if you don't bring it up and let him know that what he did hurt you.

Hey there. I have dated 2 navy boys now and had pretty long-term and serious relationships with both. If there is one thing I've learned, it's that in the military, the boys come first. I'm sure you've seen this, but the bond those guys make in the military makes them like family. I can't tell you how many times I've been blown off in favor of boys nights, and it's one of those things you just learn to accept. I agree with staple that this was probably one of those "boys nights" and he just couldn't let down his buddies by not attending. I'm not saying that makes it right that he didn't tell you about it, but I think you should be assured that he probably didn't touch any women that night and he might not have even wanted to go but may have felt pressured by his buddies.

In your defense, I would probably be upset as well if my boyfriend (or husband for that matter) went to a strip club without telling me. Boys night or boys night, touching or no touching, I would also feel disrespected. Openness and honesty is so important in a relationship. Consider why he was scared to tell you about this adventure. Do you come off as not trusting? clingy perhaps? You need to have a talk with him openly. You need to tell him you're not thrilled with what he did but you're really upset that he didn't tell you straight up. Maybe you should try to be more trusting of him and give him his space with his boys on the condition that he at least tells you what he's up to.

Best of luck to you, I know it's hard to "stay strong" but you dont need to fake it for him. Be honest with him about how you're feeling. Tell him how important honesty is. Remind him that if he's honest, you'll support him more often than if he lies.

Good luck

Well. I wouldn't be too happy about it either. Maybe some of his military buddies convinced him to go, and to be one of the guys he went in. Hopefully there's no extra charge for a lap dance on your bank records. They have those places in Tampa and I can tell you what happens depends on the money and the place they go into. But pretty much I would say you both need to talk it over, and he should have told you he went in with his friends. Marriage needs that kind of friendship, loyalty and honesty.