Hi,
Wondering if anyone can share ideas on this.
A guy used to tell my friends he was interested until finally I met him through a mutual friend. He paid alot of attention to me, flirted alot. Somehow within a few weeks we got drunk one night and he slept with me (no sex).
Of course he said he'd call or send an email..and whatever..never did. So the next few times we ran into each other, I paid less attention to him and declined alot of group invites to go out with them all (invites were mostly from his friend not even him)
A few months later we run into each other at a pretty wild party and people were taking pictures..but he took to taking alot of pictures of me dancing with anther guy (his roommate actually). So this got my attention and I dropped the dancing and sat next to player guy.. within a few minutes we somehow again ended upstairs in bed just kissing
Here's the wierd thing..he started asking for sex again and i pretty well said no, its not happening i only get into that in relationships...I said..well i think you might be a player. He said no, im just not looking for a relationship, and want to enjoy the beautiful things in life.
I said ok, then fell asleep.
Later his friend asked me if I was interested in player guy. I said yeah but..well if it happens it happens.
I have to say, I was perfectly on my way to flirting with another guy that I was starting to like, but player guy redirected me, and since he was being cuddly it seemed natural to get cuddly with him ( I was more comfortable with player guy i guess). This is my explanation..of course we were all drinking..
What was I thinking...one..but two..why do guys have to mess with girls, when they are perfectly fine without them, and getting along and just moving on?
What else ..really ..would I do..there was no hints or secret code or glimmer of hope..no affection..or genuine interest...
Similar situation...different player guy..flirty flirt flirt till i found out he was married, ..and I really really was attracted to him..but decided nothing would come of it..so i move on with another guy and started dating a reboudn guy..if i can say that..and same thing..but different reaction..wierd looks, uncomfortable silence etc....I realized any way that i was with a guy just to replace the one i couldnt have so it didnt work anyway..but i alwasy wondered why player #2 was acting so wierd. Noticeably..like he almost disliked me..
Am I supposed to not move on after i turn down a guy or ..how do I move on when this 'player' type spends time trying to make me uncomfortable..or maybe not trying to but just making things wierd. I don't want to make the group dynamic awkward cause i love this group of friends..but it seems I dont get whats going on. Am I being insensitive ?
Player Guy acting kind of jealous when i move on
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well with player guy here is what i think. he doesn't want a relationship and probably never will. and you seem to have made it decently clear that you won't have sex but he still probably thinks he can change your mind. But what i think the real issue is is that he is insecure and likes to know that you like him and are interested. when you start to flirt with other guys he gets jealous and wants to know if you still like him. he needs to know you like him in order to feel better about himself.
if you really want to get to him, i'd say let him know you're not interested at all and ignore him. i doubt he'll ever want a relationship because he said he doesn't, he is looking for sex and knowing you like him boosts his ego... so even if you like him, try not to go back to him i guess...
1That makes alot of sense..argg i feel sooo dumb..i was really kinda harsh tooo when i was saying i did not want to go along on those group invitations too..i really wanted to get out of that, and not feel hurt..and when i was feeling fine again..and i was genuinely uninterested it became a shot to his delicate ego..?
This sounds like such a wierd way of thinking..but sounds like he will have to flaunt whatever new girl he gets so we can all move on..
Player number two did that..(even though hes married) he was only a bit nicer to me after he flaunted his new and very pretty 'friend' and now he'll talk to me at lunch again..
Sounds like these guys always have to win?
2what? that made absolutely no sense! player guy, other guy, player guy's best friend, different player guy. how did sniperchika even comment?
3Eliz, thanks for the insight, sure it might be confusing..i was tring to give you all the info...
main question is how to deal with a player..i seem to know lots of them. and I'm stuck with them because they are all in my group of friends..i do want a boyfriend, and instead, players I have told no to..seem to be trying to interfere.
4The way you deal with a "player" is the same way you should deal with every other guy who doesn't want the same things you do. Ignore the bull and stick to your guns. Don't get wasted and lay in bed "kissing' or whatever else. If you're serious about finding good guys to date, be a good girl to date. Require that you have at least two dates before a kiss (real dates, not groupy hangouts) and don't accidentally spend nights, sexual or otherwise, with people you are not in a relationship with. Newsflash... all the good guys will look at that kind of behavior and think, "Wow, I'll bet that girl has gotten around with everyone!" Just like you would think about a guy who behaved similarly. When your words say no but your actions say yes, people know it's only a matter of time before they get what they want.
5i was just letting you know that i didn't understand what the question was with the whole post so maybe you should explain it better so people can give you a good comment, like the one above. my advice flirty flirt flirt married men aren't boyfriend material. also if you want to be taken seriously and have a boyfriend, start acting like it.
6of course he's acting jelous. your supposed to be pining for him, not moving on. ugh.
7unless you are prepared for a lifetime of stupidness, disrespect , and immaturity then it's probably a good idea to cut your off all ties and let him be someone else's problem .....
I f you want a serious relationship then obviously he's not the guy for you especially since you are referring to him as" player guy." Sounds like a humongous jerk with an even bigger ego to me,,,,,
8"I'm not looking for a relationship, I want to enjoy the beautiful things in life." ROTFLMAO!!!!
I guess a good relationship is not a beautiful thing. Note to self.
Translation: I don't want to talk, I just want to f@ck. This guy sounds like a real winner. Hate to say it though, you sound like player girl....you're giving off too many mixed messages, sleep with someone but no sex, drunk and kissing, flirting with married men, blah,blah,blah.
Maybe when YOU actually get serious about what YOU want, you will have better luck not chasing losers. Oh, and BTW, I think cutting back on the drinking when you are engaging these dudes is a win-win. Booze seems to play quite the part in your "relationships".
9Hmm just to clarify ..all this has happened over a period of about a year and a half..so not everyone can be a good girl all the time..but ok its sunken about all your advice about drinking around vultures..for sure what i did do with him did not demand much more than to be treated like a FB..i get it thanks for the reality check all....i really dont get out much..so im learning.
10but on the other hand players have to be more charming than your average bear..otherwise theyre just playing with themselves
Also.. i stopped flirting with married guy as soon as i found out he's married..i had no idea at all..no ring and flirting with alot of girls . I am bringing him up and comparing his reaction to the same as I am now experiencing with player guy.
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