I think that a way to be happy in your life without depending on your relationship for happiness is to do just that. Maintain frequent contact and spend time with friends and family, pursue your goals (without him there). You could plan trips/outings with friends without him there. What about the next time that he wants you to come over and sit on the couch tell him that you can't because you have made plans to go to a movie, art exhibit, etc with a female friend? (But actually make the plans). If he sees that you are going out and doing exciting things with other people, perhaps he might clue in to the fact that you would do that with him. Then after that, drop hints about specific places you would like to go to with him. What about volunteering? I found it to be a very rewarding experience and I think it helped me to grow as a person. I think that you have to actually be an independent person, instead of just appearing independent for the sake of trying not to scare him away. You don't need to play games with him, you just have to show him that you truly are interested in your own goals and hobbies. I think that to have a healthy relationship with a man, you have to realize that you would always be fine without him. So, no you don't NEED him but he could be a nice addition to your already full life. In all honesty, it sounds to me like you need to spend some time being single. This allows you to truly gain independence in your life and build your character. Never feel like you need a man to complete you or make you happy because in the end, you are the only one that can make yourself happy. I would recommend that if this relationship doesn't work out in the end, you should spend at least six months being single. Then you might realize that you actually can be happy alone, and in the next relationship you won't feel needy or clingy because you will know that you would be fine without him. BTW, I don't think that there is anything wrong with saying sweet things to a guy. It does not mean that you are not an independent person if you say sweet things to someone. Good luck.

What she said.

Clingy is a way of life... to avoid it, don't turn the guy into the center of the universe. He's an option... someone who you enjoy to hang out with sometimes. Just like all the other people you like to hang out with. Don't tell him you love him first and don't be the one to bring up future talk. Relax and have fun. When you're building up your own life, you'll find that you're more happy and fun to be around. It's a total win, even if the relationship doesn't work out.