I'm married and started having an affair with a married man. The first month was wonderful. I received emails and text messages everyday. Not only did we meet to be intimate but we also met at a park for our little walks and talks. The more we talked the more I wanted to know about him. And I told him I liked him very much and was becoming attached to him.Then I noticed he stopped emailing and texting, although when I would text him, he would respond nicely and apologize for being so busy and unable to make time to meet. We have met and been intimate only once a month and have had no more contacts at the park. Those times we did meet he said no talking just sex, which I agreed but when I would leave I would feel like I hadnt really been able to share with him what we had in the beginning. I would like to continue to see him even though I know it's wrong but how can I know if he wants to continue to see me without being able to ask him? Just the other day I sent him a message wondering if he was still interested in being with me and his response was, "of course".I feel like he's keeping his option of being with me, opened, by saying that. I keep telling myself just to STOP contacting him alltogether and I deceive myself by sending another message of when we could meet, only to be disappointed by him not having time. Please help me get a clearer picture of whats going on, Thank you
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You're exactly right. He's keeping you as an option. FOR SEX. he's never going to leave his wife for you, and would you ever leave your husband for him? If there's no chance you'd leave your husband then stop seeing this guy immediately. And I'm telling you now, He's not going to leave his wife. If you're unsatisfied with your marriage then you need to end it. Looking for whatever you're not getting is wrong. You need to stop being selfish and look at the people (your husband, his wife, any kids involved) that are going to get hurt from this.
1So, when you told him you were becoming attached to him, he responded by ceasing email and text contact, and when you finally met up with him again he told you, "no talking - just sex."
What exactly are you unclear about? He doesn't want a relationship with you, dear - he doesn't even want to talk to you. He wants to bone you - when he feels like it and it's convenient for him - and that all he wants from you.
Now stop wasting your time chasing this loser and get yourself to your doctor and get tested and treated for any STIs you may have picked up from this scumbag. Then get yourself a therapist. You need to figure out why you're so willing to cheat with (and chase) someone who doesn't even pretend to value you.
2The girls are right. You're scum, OP. And you got what you deserve. How does it feel to be used? Probably not as bad as it feels to be cheated on, I'd imagine.
3How can you be confused? You told him you were becoming attached to him and that's when things changed. Obviously all he wants from you is sex.
4This has got to be a troll/fake post.
5I don't understand how someone is 'confused' when the guy says to her face that all he wants is sex and no talking.
And yeah, lame on you both for cheating.
Seriously this seems like a fake post. Anyways, if it is real, then Wow, I imagine that is usually what a man says to a prostitute. No talking, just sex! Basically he wants to use your vagina and nothing else. I don't exactly what you are unclear about? I agree with Honey again, get tested for STI's and then find a good therapist!!!!!
6Thank you everyone for letting me see what I didn't want to see for myself. I've stopped all contact with him and am feeling a bit better about myself
7little late in the game to feel better?
8Well since your asking for help..thats a good move.. its the first step to learning..
9For sure the cheating is not right, and yes the guy just wants sex..
Whatever happened between the two of you, might of felt like it was filling some void in your current situation. So think about what it was you are looking for from him..thats what your missing in your marriage..if you can..talk to your husband about what you are missing in a serious way..and if that doesnt work try therapy on your own and couples therapy if the husband agrees to go. If not, and nothing changes..you really have a different problem that has nothing to do with this affair..it has more to do with your marriage and what is best for you and kids if any.
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