So, first he never bothered to tell you about his drug use....then you found out he was a chronic pot smoker...then you found out he was doing much more dangerous drugs than pot....then you found out he was dealing....and now you know he' still connected to people who are dealing today.

And these aren't the ONLY problems you two have? I seriously recommend you break up with him - before you find out he killed someone.

Differences in values are bad, mmmkay? A friend of mine used to do drugs and sometimes helped those transactions occur. One day he was at a party and someone asked him if he knew how to get a hookup. He went outside with the guy and was beaten up by a whole group of guys. He had no idea why, but they messed him up big time. Hospitalization. People do crazy things for drugs and if you're around people who are in the scene, you just aren't safe. I would say to keep your distance from the drugs, and not to be involved if he's still involved in dealing at all. The other goons don't care who they kill/injure as long as their master gets his money, and heaven forbid one day that person is you.

I think you should bail. If this was the only problem in your relationship then I would suggest you try to make things work, but you said there are other incompatabilities in what you want out of this relationship. Whats the point in working on this problem when you two aren't even on the same page?

Doesn't sound like he's done with it to me not by a long shot.

You both are from two totally different worlds.Don't get yourself caught up in the middle of something you have no idea how to handle..... it's dangerous.Walk away and find yourself someone who is more suited to you.This guy definitely is not.

I would consider breaking up with him. I dated someone in college who smoked quite a bit. I put up with it when I found out he still had a 4.0 in graduate school. Most people have all ambition thrown out the window, but he was one of those rare cases that it didn't make him a total loser. It still got on my nerves anyway and I used to give him a really hard time about it. However, there were still some creepy factors about the whole thing. Which was the losers he was buying it from, plus the friends who were sharing and buying from him once in a while. Then he got paranoid someone was trying to turn him in and it got really stupid. The thing is even with the threat of jail time he still did it which was idiotic. From my experience with the whole thing it didn't lend itself well to the relationship, and especially since the guy you wrote about sounds like an addict and not the occasional party favor guy, I might advise you to move on.

Why would you stay in a long distance relationship with someone you don't even want to be intimate with? It doesn't make any sense.

Read what you wrote about him... he's sweet, thinks you walk on water, and wants a long-term relationship. Where do you ever mention adoring/loving him? Thinking HE walks on water?

Are you keeping this guy around because you like having someone worship you? Doesn't seem like you really respect the dude as your equal.

You want to break up with him, you're just looking for a group of strangers to justify your decision. So sure, break up with him.

If you think you're morally superior to him, then break up with him. It'll be doing both of you a favor.

well put, allthingsgrow.

another suggestion would be: climb down from that high horse and chill the eff out. are you honestly that perfect that you can't comfortably be with someone who made (what you deem to be) mistakes in the past? if you demand past, present, and future flawlessness in a partner, you are going to end up a very lonely "goody-two-shoes."

Wow, when did dealing drugs slip into the "mistake" category? A mistake is when you forget to lock the door, or leave your glasses at home. Becoming a drug dealer is a decision people make, and that decision has serious consequences for every person that dealer comes into contact with. Sorry, Weffie - drug dealers ALWAYS cede the moral high ground to those of us who don't deal drugs.

For the record, I don't think that wanting to be with someone who doesn't habitually lie, use drugs, deal drugs, and stay connected to drug dealers is looking for someone who is "flawless" - it's looking for someone who is decent.

I have a different opinion about this than some of the others that have posted here. I live in British Columbia, and smoking pot is very common here, in people of all ages, educational levels and economic statuses. Personally, I don't think that someone who deals pot or smokes it is an inherently indecent person. I know many people that are good, smart, highly educated and kind people that still smoke pot once in awhile. I also smoke it occasionally. If you do some research, you will see that many, many more health problems and substance related deaths occur from alcohol and tobacco consumption than marijuana. I find it strange that these substances are legal and the government makes a huge profit off of them yet not a lot of people consider alcohol a drug!? People are much more likely to exhibit abusive, violent or aggressive behaviour when drunk than when they smoke weed. However, I don't think that doing other harsh or processed drugs is very smart or healthy. I would suspect that the op's bf is still quite young and in that experimental stage of his life.

I do think that smoking pot everyday probably qualifies as a addiction or emotional dependence on a substance. This is where I would be concerned. Everything in moderation I think. I think the big problem here is the fact that the op basically considers his behaviour immoral. When 2 people's fundamental values and morals are so different, it is unlikely that the relationship will last long term. Op, yes I do think that you come across as judgemental and have a general attitude of moral superiority. If your values and beliefs differ that much from his, it may be time to walk away. Good luck.

Keep in mind that you're free to be with whomever you want to be and that it's alright to have a set moral standard on what you can/will accept/forgive.

I agree that people can make mistakes in the past and no one is perfect, but again, I think it's alright to have standards on the type of partner you want to have (as long as it's not all impossible standard).

I'm not you, I don't feel for the guy. I wonder if you're hesitating to break up because he 'worships' or adores you a great deal...
If you're not comfortable with his past and (current) habit, I'd suggest to break it off as soon as possible regardless how nice he is, in fact, if he's soo very nice, you'd want him to be able to move on and date other people who are more compatible with him (and vice versa for you).

Call me judgmental, but I'd say that your bf may not have revealed everything to you. After 9 months he's filtering things to share with you (it seems), I won't be surprised if he's still dealing or/and hanging out with the crowd that does drugs (pot or the hard drug). For me, that's unacceptable. You have to decide what you want to do b/c only you know how you feel and think at this point.

Naveah makes a lot of sense to me.
My opinion of pot is that it isn't any worse than alcohol. And I don't think there is anything wrong with people doing either, but at the same time I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who drinks all the time or smokes period. I don't think you sound overly judgmental. You just don't seem to like drugs of any sort. And it's your right to not want to date someone that's involved with drugs.
Plus I think it's a big deal that you keep finding out that he's still into them.
Basically he can still be a nice guy who thinks the world of you. It doesn't mean he's right for you. If you have a major problem with his morals, your relationship is long distance, and you don't feel intimate towards him I would say those are all pretty big strikes against things working out. If you really feel this guy is the one for you than you should try to work through all of it. But it just doesn't sound like that's how you feel to me. It sounds like you've already made up your mind. Good luck.

Not a good match for you. He probably knew you couldn't handle the truth...so he hid it...and pot is not a big deal to lots of people....but sounds like it will always be an issue for you. NO DEAL> Sorry.

I agree with TidalWave. It's obvious from your post that you want to break up with him, so break up with him. You can't understand him and you don't respect him anymore, there's no way you two can work it out.