He isn't that into you as a girlfriend and probably just wanted to be friends with benefits. I don't really see how he could be "the one" when he doesn't want to be with you, when you find the right guy, you two will BOTH want to be with each other and it won't be a one-sided thing.

This sounds really similar to my "relationship" with my ex... We were sorta dating, then we went to prom together, then he broke up with me, then he started having sex with my dorm room neighbor several times a day and drove me insane because I wasn't over him yet and was still trying to win him back. It wasn't healthy and I'm still having problems from it (like trust issues that I shouldn't have). He's like my best friend now (and helped me kinda get together with my boyfriend, who is the most amazing man ever and we have a healthy, happy, relationship).

Don't go chasing guys that don't want to be with you. You'll only end up super hurt and could miss out on guys that would make you happier.

Yes, i know... I am just so confused he talked about us moving in together and just seemed like he cared for me and wanted something.I guess you dont want to face the truth sometimes. I really dont think i will be able to trust a man again for awhile. He took me around his family and he met some of mine i just feel like a fool

Hon, he's told you several times that he doesn't want to have a relationship with you - you need to hear what he's saying.

And in the future, if you want a relationship, don't sleep with anyone until you are IN a relationship. The whole concept of "friends with benefits" is such a freaking joke. It should be called "friends with consequences" cause there are very few benefits and a ton of consequences for the women involved. Don't sleep with any guy who's not interested enough to actually date you - you're worth more than that. Now start acting like it.

Thank you.. I was in a very mentally and physically abusive relationship so i have noticed the low self esteem and the stuff i wouldnt put up with normally i did. Just dont understand why he would pretend we really didnt have sex that much.. but thats a man for you i guess. His excuse was always he is scared of being hurt i guess i fell for it thinking he would come around..

Never listen to what a man says over what he does. He doesn't want to be with you. He told you this over and over. But he's not about to refuse a sexual relationship if you're willing to give him one. Maybe he's getting emotional because he knows he is hurting you, but also that he doesn't want to be with you in a serious capacity. It doesn't matter. You know he's not going to turn around and become your knight in shining armor... cut your losses and leave now.

That is the thing he has been very blunt with me. So when he said lets be together i believed him. He was never saying no i dont want you. Like i said sex wasnt a major issue ever.Im sure everyone has experienced the i hope he comes around even if you know he wont. I dont expect it although i do hope for it.

He isn't interested. Take the hint and move on. The right man will come along when you least expect it. Until then, enjoy yourself and move along with your life and focus on your self-esteem.

Good luck.

It hard and I'm sorry. You know, men are very simple sometimes. If you pay attention they usually speak their minds. Right on a silver platter for us. It's just we don't listen always. It's hard for us to grasp that even when they say something, especially if we don't want to hear it. Listen to his words. He made it pretty clear even if you don't think its what he's thinking. He says what he means. he means what he says. If you realize that, someday you might save yourself a lot of heartache.

I know when he said lets be in a relationship i could tell he wasnt happy but i guess i wanted to be with him so bad i ignored it... Just dont know why he went as far as he did. Guess you never will know all the answers. Just at times i wonder why im not good enough..

OP, you settled for a guy who just wanted to bang around with you - that's when you sold yourself short - that's when you made yourself "not good enough." When you decide to turn down guys who just want to get laid, the only guys left will be the ones who are relationship material.

There's no mystery here, dear - he liked that you gave him steady sex without the pretense of a relationship. You nagged him, he gave in for a while, then backed out. You'll be learning a huge lesson (and saving yourself a lot of future heartache) if you realize that you have to deal with a man's BEHAVIOR, and not his POTENTIAL.

I'm sorry but I have to agree with the others.If a man really cares about you he'll move heaven and earth to prove it. Your man is not.

He doesn't want a relationship, he's not ready and you have to accept that and not try to push the issue any further.You're the one who is going to be hurt.There's somebody out there for you and he's not the one.Time to let this relationship go.

Good Luck!!!!!

I agree with the other ladies. I also want to add that if you back off and he comes knocking on your door, saying he misses you etc, ignore him. Turn him away. He just wants the sex and everything will return to the way it was once you give it up again.

Oh trust me i think he has moving on to the next one.. I know his past 2 relationships they wasnt that nice to him .. Maybe i took the wrong approach ..lol

I agree with the other ladies. If he truly was the one for you, then he would want a real relationship. I just wanted to add that what you had was still a relationship, whether he formally acknowledged it or not. Usually when a man refuses to be in a defined relationship, it is because they want to be free to sleep with other people on the side. In his mind, since you 2 were not technically in a relationship, he would feel no guilt about sleeping with other women. I am not saying this is definitely what he did, but there is a strong possibility. Anytime that you have to convince or talk someone into being in a relationship with you, then you should know that it is not the right person for you. Basically, he wanted regular sex with you without the commitment and with the freedom to have sex with others if the mood struck him.

To me, the bigger question is why are you so attracted to emotionally unavailable men? Why do you even want to be with a man that doesn't want you? Why are chasing after a guy that really does not deserve you? When you find the right guy, he will be the one chasing after you, trust me. I think that you should spend a bit of time single to explore these issues along with finding ways to increase your self esteem. Never make your self esteem dependent upon a man's opinion of you, that is giving a man too much power and undermining yourself. There will always be as*holes out there that will use you and mess with your head. Your job is to eventually find the guy that will do anything to be with you, not the other way around. Good luck.

Yes, i was very dependent on him for my happiness.. I have very low self esteem since my ex and i guess i was stupid and believed what he said he was very back and forth about us. He talked about us moving in together and he met some of my family and i met his. I guess he had me fooled...

solost77, don't feel so bad about it. I think that most women are fooled by guys like this at some point in their life. That is how you learn who the good guys are out of all the jerks. Men like this are good at giving you just enough hope or charming you just enough so that you stick around. It will be ok, now you know what kind of guy that you don't want to be with, finding a good one will be easier. Hugs

Thank you!! I think i hate men right now and need to take a breather for sure.. I hope when he gets crapped on the way he did me he will look back and think of how i was to him and remember what a jerk he was to me.