Ok, from what your saying in the message above, I truly believe that your bf is just not as 'in to you' as you are in to him.

This message isn't aimed to be harsh, instead I want to point out that not only are you young, your a university student and should be enjoying these years instead of constantly having to 'drop hints', making all the effort and being the most enthusiastic person in your relationship.

So, I suggest either sitting down with him and saying how you feel and telling him that his lack of effort is slowly going to ruin your relationship. I mean it has only been 5 months, so there is still time on his side...??

Or getting out of the relationship. Period. This is because ask yourself- 'What am I getting from this relationship?', 'What do I want from this relationship?'
6 months or a year down the line, if your still feeling the same- what use will that have been?!

Ultimately the decision is obviously with YOU, but I don't know if I could bare putting up with a guy who it seems just can't be bothered or lacks interest.
The decision is yours girl...Good Luck.

Also- there's Nothing wrong with being the old fashioned kinda girl, there are guys out there who love to be romantic, and secretly there are more girls/ women out there who love to be romanced too!!

Five months? He should be darting across traffic risking his life to get you a bouquet of flowers. He should be asking his buddies where to take you for a romantic weekend. Trying to cook you dinner as a surprise. He should be doing a lot of things that I'm not seeing hearing from you. You guys are young. Look at the missing pieces. There's something wrong with this picture.

Romantic gestures are clearly not important to your bf. I don't know if that is an indication that your relationship is in trouble - I imagine you need to consider all the aspects of your relationship in order to determine that. You should understand though, that if you really want romantic gestures - this isn't the guy for you, cause he's not going to change.

You guys are absolutely right. I was thinking about it and that's definitely the advice I'd give someone in my position, I guess it's hard to realize that though when you're standing on the other side of the fence. I'm scared I'll regret breaking things off with him though and that's what's keeping me in this state of relationship limbo. Maybe I'll just distance myself from him for a while and get some breathing/thinking space...

I’m a big believer that little things are what make a relationship. Everyone likes to be treated well; everyone likes it when their significant other SHOWS them they love them. It’s clear that he just doesn’t thinks you are worth the effort. He is not investing the energy that you are. If I were you I wouldn’t be wasting my time with someone that can’t give me what I want.

I don't get the 5 month significance, but I'll ignore that for the time being. You have only been together 5 months... you aren't supposed to be developing a long-term bond in the first few months, you're supposed to be learning about each other and deciding if it's worth pursuing a long-term relationship. You like romance, he likes ease-of-use... clearly, you speak different languages. If he has no interest in making you feel loved and comfortable now, during this trial period where he should be trying to impress you, what makes you think he'll ever start doing it? Save yourself the heartache and break it off now... you two just don't work. And for the record, you can never change a person. Even if you think it's just a minor thing, if it's something you can't live with, you need to move along. Everyone wants to be loved for who they are, and it's just not fair to expect people to change to make you happy... he ultimately will find someone he's more compatible with, and so will you.

Agreed with NotInTheMood - perfectly stated.

...You 're expecting certain things from him that he's not able to give you.

I agree. He's not the right guy for you

Hi: Thank you all so much for the advice! And, notinthemood-there is no 5-month significance-I was just using it as a recent example of "failure to be romantic." I'm keeping in mind everything you guys said

By significance, I mean why were you celebrating 5 months together at all? Clearly, it was significant to you because you made cupcakes and all that. I'm not a big celebrator-of-dating-anniversaries, but my boyfriend and I went to dinner to celebrate a year together and I made him a card. I can kind of accept that people want to celebrate 6 months together with a date night or something similar. But 5 months... you've got me stumped. IMO, if you're celebrating every month of togetherness, you're wrapped up way too tight in this whole relationship thing and should spend a little less time putting effort into 'romantical' things. With such a focus on the "little things" it looks like you've missed the very important, very big things that are of great significance in your relationship... like how you're not in the type of relationship that makes you happy.

The idea of celebrating 5 months together makes me want to throw up in my mouth a little. I mean seriously, get real.

If you're not in 8th grade any more, making it one more month with a man isn't something worth celebrating.

You like little romantic stuff and he doesn't. If the little romantic stuff is important to you then you need to find another man. How often do you actually want this guy to do romantic stuff? Every month you two are together?

I'm not a big believer in these faux "anniversaries" either. It seems silly to me to bake a guy cupcakes because you have been dating for 5 months. It is very junior high.

Having said that, please realize that your guy doesn't do stuff like that and likely never will, no matter how much you hint and nag. If you are the kind of person that needs to receive a bunch of useless stuff to feel like your relationship is valid, this is not the guy for you. To be honest, not many guys will give a sh!t about a 5 month anniversary, so I think you should lower your expectations.

A birthday gift, a christmas present, Valentine's day....ok....5 month "anniversary"? Get real.

Yikes! You guys are absolutely right though. I was all worked up a few days ago-and for the record I never nagged at him about it (Thank Goodness!) but now I realize how silly I was. He's a great guy and I really just need to chill out. Anyways, thanks!

popsgoestheworld- harsh! You made me laugh though.

jazzytummy, where have you been? I haven't seen you post too much lately.

Been gone for almost two weeks...I'm sure some of the OPs here not unhappy about that! LOL!

By the way, OP, good luck with your relationship. I think chilling out is a good thing.

There are many ways to show love and caring. "Romance" is just one. Read the book: Five Love Languages. You can't request romance---then it isn't romantic! Check yourself.

I think he is who he is. You can't change him. If he isn't giving you what you want/need then move on. You are still young, you don't have any children together. Never settle for less then your heart desire.

"I'm scared I'll regret breaking things off with him though and that's what's keeping me in this state of relationship limbo."
- ajeanw

A couple of things seem clear to me and a few others have hinted they get it too. First, you are a very romantic person and crave the feeling associated with romantic gestures. Second, you are afraid of ending up without somebody or with a "lesser" somebody. As far as the romance thing goes, you are not alone. There are plenty of people of both sexes that value romance the same way as you (with the exception of maybe the 5 month thing) and they unfortunately often end up in relationships with those who, by their own nature, place little or no value on the things that make them feel good. As far as the second observation, you also are not alone there but must realize how this fear can work against you especially as a romantic person. It often causes people to imagine stronger bonds very quickly than the ones that actually exist and makes it easier to rationalize settling for someone who is not what you would prefer.

You cannot change others. But, you can make decisions based upon what upon you desire out of life and not based upon what you fear out of life. If you are 5 months into a relationship and can see that an important aspect of what makes you feel happy and secure in a relationship is not even in his field of vision you should end it before more time passes and it becomes more difficult. This doesn't make either one of you a lesser person, just different people. And you both deserve to be with someone you are truly compatible with.

If you are a romantic person by nature than seek out someone who places similar value on romantic gestures. It is the little things that make us feel good that when shared with our other halves that can often mean the difference between relationships that last forever and those that become irreparable at some point. It is how stronger bonds are formed.

If you're a health nut you're better off with someone who places a high value on exercise and food. If you are extremely religious you'll be happier with someone who values religion in a similar fashion as you do. The same goes for Romance! The man that you are most likely to spend your golden years with traveling to far off places and dropping in on grandkids together is the man that wants to leave you love notes for no reason and has no problem celebrating a 5 month anniversary once you've pointed out to him that you just invented it. That is unless you never meet that man because you are with someone else hoping you can nudge them into eventually changing or just convincing yourself that the little things that make you happy aren't that important.

I quoted you for a reason. I hope you make your personal decisions based upon what you desire and hope for in life not based upon what you fear from it.

Lots of people are single by default when they are older because they did not choose to be single and explore themselves and open the door to possibilities when they were younger.