Anonymous,

Can I make a suggestion? Why don't the both of you watch some porn together as a part of foreplay and even during sex. That would be a massive turn-on...for both of you! Pick out something you both like.

Prisha

I am going thruogh the same thing as you are, i put up a blog thing about it too, and would really like help. My sex life is also going down hill because of porn. My boyfriend tries to hide it from me too, and it makes me soo angry.

I am sure he told you doesn't watch as much porn as he really does because he was afraid you might judge him. In the long run, it backfired. If you see most of the posts on here, girls just flip OUT about their guy watching porn. They think it is some horrible thing they do and they can't figure out why. They do it because they are visual people; luckily you seem to be ok with your guy watching porn.

Here is where I think you are most bothered, he watches more than he says he does. Is this such a big deal? It is like saying "Oh I only wash my car once a month" and turns out it is three or four times a month. Is it really hurting anyone. If you claim you are ok with him watching porn, then who cares if it is a little more than you expected.

I understand that you feel honesty is important in a relationship, but I would make the honest factor important when he goes to lunch with another girl, or if he and the buddies say they are going to a bar and they go to a strip club, etc.

As for your drop in sex life, I don’t think he is lacking it because he is pleasuring himself with porn twice a week. Guys pretty much will do it anytime; they are kinda like a light switch in that way. Do you think the lack in sex could be because you are angry that he lied to you? Maybe you are giving out vibes that he is picking up? If not, talk to him. Ask him why he hasn’t been interested in sex. Maybe he feels ashamed of the porn, maybe he is stressed out and tired from work, maybe he is in a funk. I highly doubt it is because of the increase in porn. Think about this, you didn’t have a problem with your sex life until you discovered his extra time devoted to his porn. I am sure he was watching the same amount before you found out and your sex life was just fine. You don’t know unless you talk to him….

Bang on, pinup. And at "washing the car".

Hey, I'm with you. A lie is a lie. And lies about stupid things are sometimes worse because you think: If he's willing to lie about something I don't even care about... what ELSE is he willing to lie about?

It's up to you whether you think you can trust him again. I think that this isn't such a huge transgression that you should break up. Just consider it a red flag and make him prove that he's a trustworthy guy.

I would have to agree on "popgoestheworld" I dont think it's a REAL big deal but a LIE is a LIE so just take it into concideration =)

My husband did this to me too.

Total complete BS about his viewing/enjoying porn.

And like a kid, he tried to deny it to the last. I don't want to press it forward because I'm NOT his mommy. I don't want to scold him just like mommy scolding a kid when she found out that the boy has a Playboy magazine.

Lying IS bad, though.
I'm just trying to understand...maybe he's embarrassed with the type of porn he looks at, or he's trying to put up this good facade, so that you'll be impressed. When it comes to sex (&porn), guys have hang ups as well, they may get used to hiding it, or whatever, depending on how he grows up and how sex is viewed in his household.

Forgive him too, and let him know that it's okay to be honest when it comes to this, his behavior may never change (it depends on the guy). Unless you're so uncomfortable, then you may want to move on...

In my case, nowadays, I share most of my porn findings with hubby so that he'll be more comfortable sharing his with me. And you know what, he is more comfy now, it takes steps, but it's all good now.

Good luck!