My cousin is getting married in two weeks and asked me to be her "maid of honor" which I must admit I was not really all that happy about. (but I didn't show it!) She doesn't really have any other friends besides three girls she just recently met in nursing school. I have been in more than my fair share of weddings, and although it is always an honor, it is also always expensive. Even though I am the maid of honor, my cousin has managed to exclude me from practically everything. She gave me a whole day's notice before we were to get fitted for our dresses, and her other "maids" were less than friendly to me. She called for me to look/pick out jewelry when she and the other three were already at the mall making their purchases. I know as MOH I'm supposed to plan the shower and bachelorette party. She had already had two showers (one of which I was not invited to). The other shower fell on the weekend I had just broken up with my boyfriend of two years, and needless to say I did not feel up to par and did not go. However, I did send a gift and my best wishes. I have been asking if my cousin if she wanted a bachelorette party or some type of get-together for her girls for months. She never gave me any idea of a date or time. I can't plan things if I do not know her schedule or her friends schedules, nor can I read her mind. I asked her again recently about what she wanted to do about the bachelorette party. She said that she and the other bridesmaids had decided to go out of town for a weekend. She did not tell me when and gave me no other details. A few days later, I received a text message (not intended for me, supposedly) about ordering shirts for the party. I sent her a message back saying I didn't know what she was talking about. She replied, saying that she and the other bridesmaids were ordering shirts for the bachelorette party and her last text was not meant for me (oops!) And yet, she still did not give me any other details. The bachelorette party is this weekend, and I still know nothing about it. I have been working my butt off on a slideshow DVD of she and her soon-to-be hubby to show at the ceremony. I have been asking for pictures and music since JUNE, and just got pictures about a week ago (wedding is Labor Day weekend). She has also changed her mind on the songs more than a few times. I am getting very frustrated. I avoid confrontation at all costs, but I am furious about the way I am being treated. Why would she ask me to be her MOH if she is not going to include me in anything? What should I do? I am very hurt and feel extremely used.
Vicenza
Omg! I know she's family, but I would back out of being part of the wedding party. You have every right to be hurt and angry. You need to confront her and ask her why she chose you to be her maid of honor and then proceeded to exclude you from almost everything. I know she's the bride and blah blah blah, but that's just rude!
1I would bail. I don't understand her rude and hurtful behavior in the slightest. She asks you to be the MOH, and then she keeps you on the perimeter of the activities? I personally have been either a bridesmaid or MOH seven times, and I can tell you, even though I loved every one of my brides, it was expensive and time-consuming.
F*ck her.
2Okay, I just got emailed this post, WITH THE POSTER'S NAME!! Totally not anonymous. I'm going to try to contact the sugars about this to make it stop.
3As for my advice, just suck it up for 2 more weeks.
4I would not be her maid of honor anymore. Period. After her behavior, it's just so foolish to stick around and put up with her BS.
5Wow, Pop, can't believe the privacy issue...how hard is it to fix, Pop? Why or why did you mess with a good thing and ruin it?
6Pop me? Or Pop sugar?
I got a generic email from their tech support last night. Haven't heard an update since so I'm not sure if it's fixed.
Hi popgoestheworld,
Our sincerest apology for the oversight here, as this unfortunately, is a bug that you discovered. We absolutely understand how important it is for our members to remain anonymous when using our group therapy feature, and the issue around revealing the member name will absolutely be addressed in a timely manner. We hope you understand and appreciate you brining this to our attention.
Thank you,
Stacia @ PopSugar Community
71st pop you, 2nd pop the site. I really didn't think you were singlehandedly f*cking up the site, popgoestheworld!
8It's not for lack of trying on my part!
9I saw it posted on the homepage that the privacy issue was resolved today. I hope so.
Your cousin is sounding like a Bridezilla. As far as the story here I agree with jazzytummy. I would back out of it. She is not including you in anything. She's not communicating with you and yet she expects you to buy a dress, jewelry, throw another shower, and make a huge DVD music and video program in two weeks? I think she should be paying someone to do that at this point. And why does she expect another shower? She's had two already. Then she excludes you from the bachlorette party.
10I would try to get out of it. It doesn't seem like she is very close to you at all. I'm not sure why she would ask you to be the maid of honor with the way things are going. I say that because I've been roped into one or two weddings like that where I had to do a lot of extras and I wasn't asked to be part of the wedding party.
Friends can be really selfish and impose too much sometimes. Pull out or you will harbor a lot of resentment about this for a long time.
I agree, if I were you I would back out of this arrangement. Be honest with her, tell her that you are very uncomfortable with the fact that you have been left out of all the planning and that you are not understanding why she asked you to be her MOH when she obviously does not want you to be involved or plan any of the activities. Tell her that you are very upset and then give her a chance to explain. Perhaps she is acting childish because you could not make it to the shower? In any case, in my opinion her behaviour is unacceptable and totally rude. You need to call her on it, even if you are still willing to be her MOH. Good luck.
11Ok, so I'm the "Old Maid" who posted my complaint. LOL, I don't really care if its anonymous or not.
So I called the bride out on it and told her exactly how I felt about the whole situation. She basically was REALLY pissed off because I confronted her and told me "not to do this to her the week of her wedding!" She then proceeded to tell me that she had done everything on her own (although I had asked to help on several occasions) and she was fine with that. I had to get everything off my chest because I knew I could not stand up there at the altar with her with all this resentment in my heart. She pretty much turned everything around on me, saying that I have done nothing to help her and that HER feelings were hurt because I did not show up for the shower (and few other people did- maybe this is because she treats everybody like S***) I do remember her saying "Why did I even set up a gift registry if no one is going to buy anything off of it?" She basically gave the whole "woe is me" spill about just starting her new job (has never had to work a day in her life or pay for anything and she's 23) and trying to find a new house(what bank is going to give a $150,000 home loan to 2 newlyweds who have never worked and have no credit references?) and blah blah blah. Apparently I am still in the wedding for now (lucky me) but she knows where I stand. I am tired of having my feelings stepped on because she is a bride! She is not the only person who has ever gotten married...get over yourself! Even though I was still hurt when I hung up the phone because of her harsh words (making me feel like I'M the one who did something wrong) I told her I was wiping the slate clean and wanted to forget the whole conversation. Little does she know that I am TOTALLY done with her. I was the only person she really had, and now she's lost me too. That's what you get for being a b*tch.
12It sounds like you did the right thing.Sometimes people get so wrapped up in stuff(brides)they get distracted from what is really important.There may be issues on both sides?Did you feel anything she said had and truth to it?Good luck and it will probably turn out better than you expect!
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