not sure where it all started or how.....im still trying to gather the facts. but my boyfriend of over 2 years travels alot for work. and i mean like few days a week, but to all different places around the country. on one of the trips, i think he met this girl. everything in our relationship is or was perfect until this. but i started to try to find evidence without knowing where to start but one day, i was just so stressed that he asked me what was wrong. and so i calmly asked......are you cheating on me? and of course he denied and was like with who? and when do i have time? so i just mentioned one girl's name that ive never seen or heard of before that i saw on facebook and his phone when she called. so he goes to mention that she's a family friend and that she's out in hawaii, far far away from boston! so i was ok.....but NOW, as his outlook calendar was open as im at his place whenever he's in town and we were just chatting by his desk.....i saw that he had hawaii on his schedule soon. what do i do? he had told me about all the other upcoming trips......but hawaii isnt somewhere he'd go for work and especially without me! i do want to confront him.....but not sure how since i don't want to lose him.
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My bf used the "when would I have the time" excuse when he was cheating on me. I don't know if he is or not. You could be acting paranoid or you might be on to something. If you are not typically the paranoid gf then I would go with my gut feelings. If you are then try to relax. My only question to you is why would you be afraid of losing a guy who is cheating on you?
1You're going to have to get the facts. Solid facts before you start stressing if he's doing something wrong.
2Before you make assumptions you will need facts. How to get facts, I don't know. I once jumped down my BF's throat about a text in the middle of the night. It turns out, it's a friend that he hasn't seen in years but has been friends with since he was a kid. Lives in a different state. He was even honest about the messages and showed them to me. If your BF has a hard time giving you facts and being real with you, then you may have something to worry about. MAY. Are you typically insecure? You can totally make up stuff that isn't there if you are just paranoid. If it's out of character, and you think he is cheating, then see what you can find out. Ask him about Hawaii. He might be trying to "surprise" you. If you still don't think he is being honest, then I would take your business elsewhere.
I'm lucky that I have a guy and I have a personality that thinks cheating is worthless. He would totally break up with me instead of cheating. I would break up with him instead of cheating. Maybe you do have a guy like that, but he is afraid that mentioning this other chick you may freak out. No one really knows.
3I'd say by his response to your questions that yes, he is cheating.
Instead of saying "no" or promising you he wasn't, he turned the questions back on you. "When would I have time?" and "With who?" are his way of putting the focus back on you, as in, "show me the proof!"
Have the conversation again. Instead of asking a direct question, say "I noticed Hawaii on your Outlook calendar. Why don't you tell me what's going on?" Then sit quietly until he responds. Don't react/respond when he turns questions back on you. If he's upset about you snooping, tell him you'll talk about that later, and first you need to know what's going on.
4You're afraid of losing him? Dude, get some respect for yourself! If he's cheating on you then good f*cking riddance! Confront him, get all of the details and dont let him snake around this sh!t anymore. Your know Hawaii isnt normal so there, he's obviously keeping sh!t from you. Confront him and prepare yourself to be moving on. It's not the end of the world.
Good luck
"Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it"
5My opinion is ask him once more, and I mean actually have a conversation not automatically confronting. And at the end of the conversation if you feel in any way that he's lying or you don't feel satisfied with the answer, thats when you need to figure out whats important to you. If you can fully trust him then just let it be. But if you can't find yourself doing that then maybe its best to break up. Because your always going to wonder what he's up too, it will consume your mind whenever you have a feeling he's cheating and not matter what he says to you your not going to believe him. So why put yourself or him in this situation. Unfair to you both. And if he is cheating wouldn't it be best to dump him. Why stick around with someone who isn't worth your time. Don't waste your time on someone who won't waste their time on you.
6Luisamapac - I couldn't have said it better. By his response, it sounds more like he is cheating than not. When confronted, he immediately turned the tables around on you -asking you questions and putting the focus on you. I would do what Luisamapac said and talk to him, but ask the question like "I noticed Hawaii in your Outlook" and just talk to him calmly - keep a cool head. (A woman who keeps a cool head in situations like this rather than flying off the handle carries alot more weight in the conversation). I feel for ya! It is a hard situation to go through (if he is cheating). A broken heart actually DOES hurt. Take care of YOURself and be calm, cool and collected as much as you can be.
Peace/Love/Lipstick
7Blondeyy
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