Before you read this, I want you all to realize that I totally understand that I am completely feeling sorry for myself and that I need to look at the brighter side of things, but right now...to me, this is he end of the world.
I started to like this guy, that I never was really attracted to before. I never thought he was cute, until now. He's a great person, an all around good guy. My roommate has known him longer than me, and she is constantly telling me what a "great catch" he is. I have a lot of fun with him, when he can make the time for me.
It seems as if all he has time for is his friends. He is constantly calling me, constantly keeping in touch...so I know he is interested. He always TRIES to hang out with me....always makes the effort...but NEVER follows through. I feel like he always blows me off. I know its easy for you all to say, "forget about him and move on." well, when you're in the situation, it's a lot harder to do just that. I've honestly fallen for the guy. He is in that phase in his life where he can't miss a single second of "guy time" with his friends. I even mentioned it to him the other day (after he decided to go to the bar with his friends instead of hang out with me)...I said " I just feel like you always want to hang out with your friends instead of me" and what he said back to me was a shocker...he replied.." What are you my girlfriend or something." and then casually laughed...later that night, he texted me and said, "I suck, we should have hung out." He does this all the time, he will go with his friends and then text me while he is with them saying, "I'm sorry, I'm an *sshole...you probably hate me" Why does he call me every day if he isn't interested. Why does he continually try to hang out if he doesn't like me? This is why I'm convinced that he DOES like me, but just is taking his time. The whole thing has got me tore up. I get very nervous and ancy when he doesn't call when I think he will. I get angry with my family, unintentionally. I'm letting it control my emotions, and it's terrible. It's out of my control. I don't know what to do. I'm not ready to forget about him just yet though, because it is the summer time and it is hard to start something when you dont see someone all the time. (He lives in the city, I live an hour away). I am willing to wait until he is ready, but I don't want him to know that he is in control of the situation ...he knows that I don't really do much and I feel like he knows I would drop everything just to hang out with him. But remember, he is NOT blowing me off, if he is calling me the next day...he's not one of those typical assholes that just never calls again, that's not the case. And keep in mind that if you just say, "move on" that's not helping me, because that's not what I want to do.
Halston
Promod
Esprit
Question? Has he been frequently trying to get you to sleep with him?
if not this is my thought on the matter
Have you ever discussed your attraction to him? Maybe you should..
I would say that maybe he's trying to figure out where your stand on this whole matter.. He wants you to let him know.. Because yes you're acting like a girlfriend.. But you're not trying to make the claim
So tell him that you want something more then friendship and see where he is after that..
Communication, one very simple word but it can do a whole lot for your relationship..
1So we can't tell you to move on huh?
Well, then, I guess my advice is to wait at home by yourself and cross your fingers that he follows through with plans one day.
But I can't resist being just a little reasonable.
You say he's a great guy. Really? He sounds a little like a jerk to me. You think you're in love so you can't see straight. Hopefully you'll wake up and.........move on.
2If you are right and feel certain that he DOES like you, then step back...give him space and see then if he follows up on hanging out with you. It also sounds like he is in that stage of life where his friends will take more priority than any girl, so only if you are prepared for that be ok with trying to date him. Its hard being someones girlfriend when they'd rather be somewhere else.
3Sounds like you've decided this is a good guy, but it might help you to take a sec, set him aside, and ask yourself, if you could have the perfect situation, what do you want that guy to be like? How do you want to be treated? How do you want to feel? If you're not getting that here, you can get it somewhere else. If he's being an idiot and not seeing the amazing creature in front of his face for all she is worth and treating you exactly the way you deserve to be treated, someone else can. You seem like a capable lady, and it's soooooooo hard, i know to set aside that guy who you're set on being the one for now, but is he "the one" forever? and if not, is he worth all this mess? If not, realize that you deserve better, and can get it.
4Seems like he's trying to have his cake and eat it too - to spend all his time with his guys, but still call on you to do some of the girlfriend duties. And why not? Seems like he's knows that you've been there waiting for him to call or text or whatnot.
And, yes, the next day, he might tell you that he wishes he'd spent that time with you or that things had been different, but you know what? He keeps doing it, keeps blowing you off in favor of his friends and then regretting it. He wants to hang out with the guys? That's great, but he can't blow you off to do it. Shows right there how much you mean to him.
I feel like I'm being incredibly rude, but I echo the sentiments of the ladies above him. Is he really worth this? Is this really what you want from a relationship?
Just think about that.
5sigh...just know this one thing:
If a man wants to hang out with a woman, he will find a way to do it. PERIOD. END OF STORY.
this guy is stringing you along and whether you want to hear it or not, you need to make it clear to him that if he does not want to hang out, you are done playing the waiting game and moving on! toughen up...you can do it!
6if he wants to hang out with you he will.
i suggest that you pose as more of a challenge. guys are not worried about locking you down if they know that you will always drop everything for them. he knows that you like him. he needs to know that other guys are interested in you as well. people tend to want what they can't have. if you position yourself as a challenge he will be forced to make more of an effort to spend time with you. if he does not make the effort, then he is not interested in you; and it's time to move on.
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