Well, it all started the other day as I was sexually intercoursing my husband. We were really getting into this intercourse, and he was about to ejaculate, when he mumbling something. Like any dignified woman would, I asked him to please speak up so that I could hear him. I could hear that he was singing:

"You can have it your way..how do you want it? Are you going to back that thing up or should I push up on it? Temperature rising okay, let's go to the next level, dance door jam packed--"

"Hot as a teakettle," I joined in.

"I'll break it down for you now, baby it's simple, if youll be a nympho?

"I'll be a nympho," he responded.

That's when things started getting a bit shady, I noticed a shadow running across the room. It was none other than.....MY 16-YEAR-OLD DAUGHTER!! I pulled out my flashlight and directed it at her, and she put up her hands like a criminal who'd just gotten caught eating cookies. She had been hiding under our bed this entire time, and was attempting to escape!

"What do you mean freeze? Please, I'm a human being, I have needs
I'm not done, not till I'm finish peeing. I am not resisting arrest, I am agreeing Mr. Officer, I'm already on my knees," she rapped.

I was furious at her spying on me and my husband sexually intercoursing each other.

"What we do, and where we do, things we do, are just between me and you," I pointed towards my husband (whilst still on top of his sexually erect penile unit) followed by looking angrily at my daughter.

"The way you shake it, I can't believe it, I ain't never seen an butt like that," was all that my daughter could come up with.

I'm so frustrated with her! It seems as if she is always doing this. I'm afraid that if we keep this up, my daughter will think that intercourse is all just rainbows and butterflies and musicals. My daughter, Cheryl, clearly does not have a realistic view of life. Do you think she might have a crush on me (judging from the anus comment)?