Over the past year, one of my guy friends has dropped a lot of “hints” that he would like for us to get together, but then I won’t hear from him for weeks or months on end. I don’t know what to think of it. For example, I got my hair cut short a few weeks ago and when he saw it he said, “It’s nice to feel the summer breeze on your neck,” which was something I had written to him in an email over a year ago when I last got it cut short. He didn’t know I had gotten it cut until he saw me and he essentially quoted something I said from ages ago, right on the spot. Also, we went to see a horror movie and he made sure I was okay throughout the film (I’m not good with blood) and after the movie he kept gently touching my lower back after we left the theatre as we walked downtown, which I hear is a classic sign that a guy likes you. Last time we went out he said the whole night had been “perfect.” He did tell me he loved me last year and I was really happy, but then I didn’t hear from him for three weeks afterwards! We haven’t talked about it since. I’m not a clingy person, so it’s not as though I’m suffocating him. I’m pretty independent like most women my age (early 30s.) I text him and call him every once in a while, but then I won’t always get a response or a call back. And then sometimes I’ll get a huge text from him out of the blue, asking me what I’m up to and how I’m doing. In some ways I feel like he is trying to get me to chase after him and declare my feelings, but isn’t that what the guy should do? I don’t want to chase him. I gave him a small present last year that he really liked, so he knows that he is special to me, plus I gave him a goodnight kiss last time we saw each other (I initiated it, and he didn’t really kiss me back, he was kind of frozen, but then he hugged me for a really long time. We’d only kissed once before last year.) I don’t want to confront him though, no matter how gently I do so, because I do not want to put him on the spot. He was engaged eight years ago to someone else and she dumped him because she didn’t love him anymore, so I’m thinking he doesn’t want to get hurt again? But then, that was eight years ago, I think he’d be over that by now. I can’t tell what’s going on with him. I honestly can’t figure this out! Is there anything I can do to get him to open up to me?
Matches Fashion
Phi
Aftershock
It seems like you've dropped a ton of hints that you're potentially interested and he's not jumping on them. Maybe he's keeping you around because he likes the attention? I have known men to do that - it's flattering.
Honestly, I'd stop thinking about this guy as a prospect. Doesn't seem like he's that interested.
1He's just not that into you. Sure, you're nice company, he knows how to act like a gentleman, and he knows how to flatter you. But if he really wanted to be with you, he would have asked by now.
2I think he appreciates your friendship, but when you don't hear from him, it's probably because he's dating someone else. When that is over, he calls.
I would personally back off and treat him as a friend. He has had ample opportunity to move forward and hasn't. Focus on yourself and dating others. Remember, with men especially, actions speak louder than words.
3I tend to agree with the other girls. I think that if he was intereted, he would have already made a move on you. I agree with jazztummy, I think that he is probably dating other women and calling you when it is over. The whole thing with telling you that he loves you, well obviously he got scared because he didn't talk to you for so long after that. I am guessing that you did not say it back. I find it weird that he did not kiss you back. I think that means that he is not interested. I agree, there is no reason for you to chase him. I wouldn't wait around for him if I were you. Good luck.
"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." Buddha
4Don't chase him, just enjoy his friendship and look into dating others.
5He's pulling your strings. He's got something else going on. He needs to knock off the funny stuff with you. It's wasting your time and you deserve some truth. He says he loves you then forgets to call for three weeks. That's just too much mystery for me. Maybe he should write a Sherlock Holmes novel since he's so good at it.
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