It sound to me like you are experiencing symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This is not surprising, considering what you and your family has gone through. Please consider getting counseling to find ways to deal with your anxiety. A therapist can help you much more than anyone on this website ever could. If the anxiety is affecting your life to this extreme, then it is time to reach out and get help. Don't be afraid to share with your husband what you have been going through, you need extra support from him now but he cannot give it unless he knows about your problems. There is no shame in needing therapy, most people do need it at some point in their lives. I hope you seriously consider what I said. Good luck and I really think that things will get better if you just reach out and get some counseling.

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." Buddha

I also just wanted to add that PTSD can have delayed symptoms, you may experience a traumatic event but not get symptoms of PTSD sometimes until years later. (for example with war veterans and people who experienced abuse in childhood). Symptoms of PTSD do not usually go away on their own, most people need counseling to deal with them. Good luck.

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." Buddha

It does sound a little bit like PTSD. Which, you can discern, is what happens to some people after they experience something traumatic. It doesn't have to be you it happened to, but just someone you know. People who live in Alaska have gotten PTSD over what happened on 9/11. It is not that uncommon. I will tell you as someone who experienced PTSD twice in her life, it is essential you get help.

One was after 9/11, when I was 14...though I lost a lot of friends and family. However, I lost my best friend in a car accident when I was 17. It was so bad that being in a car would cause shaking, and me driving would end up me pulled over on the side of the road crying hysterically. I avoided driving for two years. I did get help, which consisted of therapy, and actually medication as I had many symptoms of depression. The meds helped with the anxiety as well. If something like this is keeping you up, and you are getting this stressed out over it, then it's way more than being irrational. It's way more than just simple anixety. It's been over a year. There is something clearly not right.

All I can say is that my life was turned upside down. I didn't trust myself in a car, my family in a car, my friends in a car. That was a very bad way to live. A trip to school meant shaking and a racing heart and driving at night for dinner meant crying for an hour beforehand, and stress that overcame my body when I got in the car. The therapist said it went on so long before I got help that he even saw how I was becoming afraid of cars in and of itself. It was not a good way to live. You don't have to live in fear for your husbands safety. You shouldn't live that way. I do hope you will consider help. It's been this much time since the accident in your family occurred. IMO, you do need it.

I can suggest that you do have a talk with your husband regarding your concern.
Consider also therapy or just talking to your spiritual advisor (if you happened to go to a church, make an appointment with your pastor/priest).
I'm sorry to hear about your SIL's husband, and I'm sorry you're going through this. I understand how you feel, there are many crazy maniac drivers here and my husband is a truck driver and it's scary to imagine bad things that can happen too when he's on the job (which is constant).

Good luck.

*Unconditional love is a beautiful thing, just be sure to give it AFTER your conditions have been met.*

I agree with the PTSD idea. My ex-husband got it from going to Iraq and I got it from some of my experiences with him. It's a very frightening thing. Please do talk to someone about it. There is also a very good book called, Hope and Help For Your Nerves, which is still helping me quite a bit. Good luck to you and feel free to email me.

Even if you don't want therapy, seeing a doctor will help you.

Uh, yes you do need therapy. It sounds like you're suffering from PTSD - post traumatic stress disorder. Pleade get help. You can't deal with this on your own.

You have an anxiety disorder that is disrupting your life- please seek help.

Talk to your husband, first and foremost. His acknowledgment may help. I'm a queen worrier and sometimes having someone to honestly share my fears with lightens your load. Also, see a therapist. If the first one isn't right, try another one.

you need to go into therapy because youre experiencing post traumatic stress. I think it would also really help you to express your fears to your husband.

This is EXACTLY what I am experiencing. I didn't know I could put the label of PTSD on it. Whenever I go for counselling for this it just gets dismissed as "yeah, you've had a traumatic life... what do you expect?"

I've just found out my ex-husband has passed away and now I am unbelievably paranoid about my boyfriend going out of the house. He told me I can't just keep us both indoors all day long. WHY NOT? I am attempting to deal with a lot right now. I feel your pain.

My mom experienced this same thing once. A friend's husband got hit on a country road out of the blue. He was hit by a truck and his convertible flipped over. He died instantly. I don't think my mom slept for weeks and her friend had to get professional counseling. You are not able to handle the emotional stress and you should try to talk with someone.