You should have thought about whether you wanted to do online dating before you signed up for it and dragged some kid along for a few months. Eish.

I think literally millions of people have done online dating. Sure, there are a couple horror stories, but if you're safe about it it's generally fine. Meet in a public place, have friends who are waiting to hear from you etc.

Obviously if you're not feeling it for this guy then don't do it. But if you think you really like him, give it a try.

You should've thought about this before you went ahead and continued chatting with him. If you don't want to do it then don't, but don't make excuses.

can you give him your number w/ him knowing where you live? maybe a cell phone number so he can't find you if he turns out to be a freak. i don't think you would know if you could trust him for awhile (sadly). be careful, hopefully he's a nice guy

If you are feeling a bit cautious, you could tell him that you do not give your number out to people that you don't know yet, but you would be glad to take his number and phone him. The only problem is if he has call display, then he may be able to see your # anyways. You could phone the phone company and make your phone # blocked/private and then phone him. But like lickety split suggested, it seems that a cell phone would be good, because then you could always change the # or not answer if he gets stalkerish. The other thing is, if you give him your home # then he could use the reverse directory and find out your address if you are listed in the book. I think that you are right to be cautious with someone that you don't know yet. My sister dated and ended up pregnant by a man she met on an online dating site. It turns out that he is a psychopath who stalks her, pays her no child support and today he tried to kill her and their baby by removing lugnuts on a tire of her car so that the tire would fall off and she would crash. I am not joking. The police will not do anything because there is no evidence that he did it. So, predators do use online dating sites. It does not hurt to be cautious just in case. Always trust your instincts about someone and do not give out any private information or your address. Not trying to scare you, but this really did happen today. Good luck.

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." Buddha

Holy Sh!t Janine! Your sister's story is terrifying. I know people will get on here and say that they met their husband/fiance/boyfriend online and they are ecstatically happy, but there are plenty of these other stories out there. GAWD.

I would personally not give out any numbers. If you really want to meet this guy, I would pick a place midway between your two places for a daytime get-together, coffee or lunch. I would pick the time, and I would let at least two friends know where and when. When you leave the date, I would touch base with one of your friends on your cell to let them know you are heading back.

I know I sound paranoid, but having been stalked myself years ago, I personally would be as careful as possible. If you are lukewarm about it,though,let it go and don't string him along.

As per Jazzy's advice, make sure you choose a place to meet that YOU are very comfortable with. You should know the area very well so that if something goes wrong you're not immediately lost. Just be cautious. I've met many people online and never had a problem but I was very cautious and always followed my instincts. If something felt wrong, I canceled the date and waited to see if my feelings were correct. I never went to meet someone unless I felt 100% comfortable.

While being a bit paranoid is good, dont let it ruin your fun. While Janine's sister's story is scary it's not just because she met the guy online. They obviously got along and saw each other enough to have sex and have a baby, he was just crazy. But I guarantee that I could go to the grocery store, or a bar or an aerobics class and meet a guy there crazy enough to stalk/kill someone too. Not just online. It's the luck of the draw, I guess.

Be careful but dont let fear rule your dating life.

Have fun and good luck.

"Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it"

If you have any doubts about giving him your number don't do it. Go with your gut and always be cautious with anyone you meet online. People can make themselves into anything online and you only know things that he wants you to know about him.

I met my ex online and he seemed normal enough when we chatted and he liked everything I liked. Yeah, he turned out to be a huge liar and it took me 3 and a half years to figure it out. When I left him he stalked me for almost a year with every intention of ruining my entire life. I left him because he almost choked me to death and had started getting violent with me. He could not see the faults in any of his actions.

Don't get too wrapped up in an online fantasy. You never truly know someone until you meet them in person. Proceed with caution.

Again, Hiding, you dated him for 3 years. You could have met him at school or on the street and he still would have been crazy. It doesnt mean that only guys online turn into psychos.

I met a few exs online, they were all very nice and normal guys. We dated, we broke up, life moved on.

Dont sign off online dating just because some people had some bad experiences. Just be careful and youll be fine.

"Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it"

You're doing this online dating thing TOTALLY WRONG. You're not supposed to use the web to build a relationship. You're supposed to use it to locate people you might be interested in dating. Here's how it should go:

You or he likes the other's profile so you send a message. You e-mail back and forth about three times, exchange numbers and then have a conversation on the phone. At that point you know if you're both interested in going out on a date together. If so, you schedule a brief afternoon coffee or lunch date, then you take it from there.

The reason you're only supposed to email about three times is this: any guy who wants to meet you sooner is just interested in sex. Any guy who keeps putting off meeting you is married or has a girlfriend.

I would agree that you can meet a mentally unstable guy anywhere. What concerns me with online dating is how predators can use these sites to prey on women that fit their criteria and would make 'ideal' victims. As we all know, it is very easy to lie and conceal information online. The internet makes it easy for predators to find victims that they would never otherwise get the chance to meet. OP- Just use caution and trust your instincts, that is the best you can do. I tend to agree with Luisa, it is better to use it just to locate people you may be interested in dating rather than have an online relationship. It's always better to look someone in the eye and read their body language signals to see if they are trustworthy. Good luck.

"We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world." Buddha

be careful. however, i married my online date!