I'm a single mum of two, age 27 and have been seeing a guy, 35, for almost 5 years. marriage is on the cards and my kids call him dad as they never got to know their dad and my boyfriend came along when they were still very young. things had always been good between us until a month back i realised he was being very laid back and something wasn't right. curiosity got the best of me and i hacked into his email. i know that its wrong to do so as trust and privacy are strong foundations in any relationship, but i came to discover that he had created a fake facebook account and was communicating with a few women on there.

He had created a whole new persona, asking where all the local hot girls had got to, commented on their body parts, and what he would like to do to them. Obviosly, it hurt like hell, but i felt a sense of relif at the same time. Things made more sense. in the morning i told him what i had seen and that it was over. at first he deneied the whole thing and said it was his brother, but then after much interogation he told me that yes it was really him.

His excuse? that he had extremly low self esteem and had lost all self belief within him. even though hes doing well at work, he had told me before that he felt as he had achieved nothing, hes a extremely build guy but has always presumed that hes stick thin.

the above i already discovered over the last 5 years but i didnt know they were affecting him so badly. he also told me that he felt sucidal at times and fed up of everything.

the next 5-6 days we talked things over throughly. Questions i needed answers to and the likness of it happenning again. we still arent "back to normal" but we havent seperated eithier.

i really don't know what to do. a part of me does believe that it could be brushed off as harmless flirting as there wasnt any inklings to things having gone further then just facebook and a few messages, but the other part of me does consider that as cheating as i wouldnt do it myself, and he knows that.

the first thought that went through my mind was "oh my god what am i goign to tell the kids?" my sons 8 and my daughter 7. they were just 2 and 3 when he came along and he became dad to them and i know he sincerly loves them and considers them his own which i love him for.

my life was in pieces before he came along. What and how i am today was all done with encouragement and support from my boyfriend. i still love him loads but am so confused to what i should do. do i stay with him and we get married in the next few months? my decision to do so will be life or death for me if God forbid things didn't work out my family would never forgive me as this is my second marriage and they weren't very happy with me marrying my ex but supported my decision to leave him. they aren't very happy with me choosing my own life partner this time round but have come to love him.

WHAT TO DO I DON'T KNOW


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