When I had first met my boyfriend, it was with a mutual group of friends. The situation was rather complicated. I just got out of a bad relationship with someone who believed in infidelity, and he just got out of an on-again/off-again relationship with his now-ex-girlfriend of 4 years. We slowly started hanging out platonically and shared our takes on relationships and life. Nothing was every physical between us, but we became really close friends. Apparently his ex did not take to it too well, and I felt for her a little because I had was just recently burned from my previous relationship, and I knew how losing someone you really cared about can feel, regardless of how the relationship ended.
Come to find however, that she took it upon herself to spread rumors and hate messages about me, which didn't really piss me off until I saw it for myself. She wrote an entire blog dedicated to third world country children and how I reminded her of one of them because I was so skinny. She went on to say I was anorexic and that anyone who liked someone like that was blind. But it didn't stop there. Eventually my boyfriend and I began officially dating about 8 months after we met. Talk about fueling the fire. The blogs never stopped and the drama persisted until he cut ties with mutual friends.
Getting to my point. It wasn't until the beginning of this year that things had died down, mind you this all started over 2 years ago. Now, i'm running into her where ever I go. She gave me dirty looks while she talked on the phone saying that she was at his house last night and she left wearing his t-shirt. She drove right next to me and took a picture of my car with her phone and drove off. She walked right passed me and looked me from head to toe and rolled her eyes. It started to creep me out. Finally, I had reached my breaking point. Last month I had noticed her while I was talking to one of my friends and decided that I was going to clear this up because age should have some direct correlation with maturity right? WRONG.
As I was steaming hot, I kept my hands in my pockets and kept my cool. I asked her if she had time to talk and she said yes. I basically laid the majority of the issues on the table and asked her what her problem was with this.. and that.. and you know what she said? "NOTHING." She denied E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. It got to the point where she even said "I totally RESPECT you and I wish you guys all the best of luck!" She responded in the sweetest tone ever, while every word that came out of my mouth was: "So if you have a Bleeping problem, lets address it now, because this is really getting childish"
So basically, why won't she confess? And more importantly, its been almost 3 years! Let it go! I know that my boyfriend has had no contact with her, and I like to think that I know him pretty well considering we live together. I mean maybe i'm wrong, but my mind won't let this go. Every time I see her I just want to rip her a new one, because I met her once, talked to her for 5 minutes, and that is the extent of our acquaintance.
Any food for thought?
KangaROOS
Pussy Deluxe
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honestly..Up to this moment i haven't heard anything on your boyfriends take on the situation,and honestly you don't need her to fess up.You already know what you know and she is doing what she intended to do and surprise surprise its working she is getting to you.she if affecting you to the point you can't stand it.what u have to understand is at the end of the day he is your boyfriend.and what would grind her more is if u ignore her efforts and love and admire the relationship u have with your boyfriend because she is just trying to make a desperate attempted to be in his life and your the one holding on to her....PS forget her..
1He hates talking about his past and he tells me that, but i can't help but be upset. I partially blame him for not leaving this baggage at the door, but I've come to realize that with exes, there is nothing that you can really do.. unfortunately. He says he's over it and he's never brought her up. Not once. Its funny though, because she has never said anything nasty about him. I guess that's to be expected. I just need to hold my head up high and take the high road.
2you need to and obviously you have something that she wants.so she would be nasty its expected.what you need to do is to try your best to realise she is the EX.and even if things do affect you that she says.don't let her know that it does its just feeding her fire..
3I know, you are absolutely right. I've figured that was the situation for a while, I just never wanted to believe it. i hope the fire burns out soon. Thank you so much for your insight. It really does help with my mind over analyzing this situation.
4The way she's acting and everything she's done says more about her than it does about you. Just try to let it go, she's the one looking more foolish. When you mess with people it'll come back full force, she already lost her boyfriend, she'll lose more with that attitude of hers.
5The blog is a real form of Defamation. Libel is the easiest to prove if you print off a few pages of the blog. Use this to get a restraining order on her and sue her obsessive ass for libel and slander. She's psychotic and needs to learn her lesson about what happens in the real world.
6Confession equals admission of guilt. And when you stopped her the last time, she seemed like she's by herself while you have more people with you therefore, she would be dumb to pick a fight with someone who has back-up too.
Seriously, you need to just brush her off. Don't get into her game, just because she's pathetic, there's no need for you to be pathetic with her. If anything, after 3 years? Dude, feel so sorry for her for being such a pathetic little twit.
Fallen is right, you can definitely print off the blog and consider for defamation of character. But for Libel/defamation of character, you have to see if she's saying flat out LIES and malicious rumors about you (for example: You have AIDS, etc) OR just her opinion (for example: oh you're too skinny like those starving kids, you look ugly in that dress etc--opinion is harder to prove malicious intent, she may just not like you, many people don't like each other and call ugly stuffs about each other).
Since you're not a public figure, suing for defamation of character in small claims court has more successful chance. Seen it happen (this guy suing his ex for basically telling everyone that he has herpes online--so he can print out the proof and via words of mouth--and he won a couple of thousands of dollar).
My suggestion is, beside printing them off, contact the website administrator to let him know what's going on and ask them what they can do for you (maybe they can take it off for you, especially if it's so offensive, etc).
I don't know how intrusive she is, or if she's stalking you outside those incidents you've described, keep track and proof (pictures--try getting a pic phone and only take pics when you bump into her in public, logs--if she's calling, leaving messages, never destroy the messages and keep phone record, etc). Because if it's intrusive enough and she's stalking you, you have every right to bring this matter to the authority to get a restraining order.
I wonder what your bf would say if you told him those instances, and suggest to him that you're thinking of suing her for defamation of character and filing for a restraining order against her. And that now you're gathering the proofs and will definitely do it. Will he be supportive or try to stop you from doing that..hmm..curious.
Somehow, I wonder if your bf still has any contact with this girl, may not be physical (but he's still talking to her)...therefore she thinks she still has a chance.
Check all the angles, before you jump into conclusion too.
Good luck.
*Unconditional love is a beautiful thing, just be sure to give it AFTER your conditions have been met.*
7You need to take your own advice to her. Let it go.
She got to you. She wins.
End of story.
Pretend she doesn't exist in your eyes. Muster up some pity if you can.
But never, ever confront her again. She doesn't exist.
8If your bf doesn't even have contact with her. ITA with pop here, just pretend that she does NOT EXIST, her life doesn't include you, and your relationship shouldn't be including her too.
If she got to you, she's won already. Stop checking her blog too, if you do, you will always be reminded about her not liking you.
Plus ignoring her probably works the best too since she's going to get tired after trying so hard to get to you. It's only a matter of time hopefully 'till the 'fire' goes out.
9This liar of an ex obviously has serious issues. Stop worrying about her. Seriously. Stop. She's not worth another minute of your thoughts.
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